MAFS season 11, ep 1

Oh those “experts”….. I mean, it’s fun to watch the trainwreck, but they should be stripped of the expert title. There were maybe 2 matches this season I could possibly see working, but the other ones just seemed like cruel jokes.This first episode introduced all of the couples, as well as watched them tell their friends/family they’re marrying a stranger, go shopping for their wedding clothing, and have their bachelor/bachelorette parties, in true MAFS fashion. They’re really trying their best to up the drama factor, since last season was probably the most drama the franchise has had possibly ever. Here are my initial thoughts…

Amelia & Bennett:
Bennett is a jack of all trades type of guy who spends his time as a thespian, pedicab driver,and part time landscape architect (but full time hipster goofball). He’s looking for someone to share his weird quirks who will enjoy his Kenny G sweaters and watch him play the saxophone in his tiny house… oh and hopefully this mystery woman doesn’t have to pee a lot, because it has no bathroom. Enter Amelia, an equally quirky fun loving med school graduate who enjoys tightrope walking and playing in her one man band. I totally see where the experts were going with this and think this could possibly be one of the all time greatest couples, in that whole “it’s just crazy enough… it may work” way. Amelia seems pretty upbeat and positive, and is looking for an unconventional husband who wants to stay home and raise her babies while she’s out “doctoring”, just like her own mom and dad (I wonder what kind of doctor she is… a wacky podiatrist?? A kooky endocrinologist?? I’d like to read her Healthgrades reviews please..).
Amelia also has a unique ironic 90’s fashion sense and the same wire frame glasses I had in 2nd grade, and I can’t wait to see the sparks that fly when their wire frame glasses connect during their first kiss. Bennett wanted to wear a crazy looking hat with his tux for the wedding….Amelia picked a very “froofy” wedding dress (and tried it on with her armpit hair in full effect…. You know those sales associates were Fabreezing the b.o. and patchouli scent out of that thing for hours afterwards..).  There was an ominous preview with Amelia walking down the aisle, whispering that she had met Bennett before, upon initially seeing him. This may not be a negative thing… she might follow it up with “and I thought he was HOT”, because those editors are clever.  My thoughts: I really hope this one works out. The last time the experts put two quirky weirdos together was Sam & Neil, and that ended horribly. These two seem to be the same type of weird, and I look forward to watching them dance their first dance to some 90s ironic love ballad by Hull & Oates. 

Mikes & Karen:
Karen is a super pretty, bright girl from Louisiana that seems like she would have no problem finding someone, though after a recent bad experience with a long term boyfriend having a baby with someone else during the relationship, she is ready to give anything a try. Miles is a really attractive 26 year old guy with 2 degrees, who works in education, and couldn’t seem any nicer (it is, however, the first episode…. Michael also worked in education… hopefully Miles isn’t an aspiring Principal/Astronaut/Cage diver, or anything else Michael claimed to be). While Karen and her friends are getting all dolled up on the morning of the wedding, we hear her speaking privately with production in the bathroom about her groom’s name being leaked to her accidentally. She of course couldn’t help herself and started cyberstalking him to get a preview of who she was marrying (I don’t blame her, I would have totally done the same), and started feeling anxious that she was not initially attracted to him after seeing his Instagram stories. Of course this could be her nerves talking, and hopefully it is, because damn they’d look so cute together and he seems like the absolute nicest. The previews show a very upset Karen freaking out at the altar… WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, KAREN!!! (Goodfellas reference, anybody?! Ok anyway…) I really hope Karen gets it together and they work out so they can live happily ever after, amen. 

Olivia & Brett:
Olivia is a thirty year old self proclaimed crazy cat lady who likes to get down with some “‘Lil Wayne” on karaoke night. She seems both easy going but direct, and is ready to meet a “nice guy”. Well Olivia, sorry about that… I guess the experts still practice “opposite day”, because they matched poor Olivia up with the season’s resident D-Bag, Brett. It’s only one episode in and I’m pretty sure women everywhere are rolling their eyes when Brett opens his mouth. Brett is described as a “serial dater”, proudly admitting that he has dated over 45 girls in a year after the downfall of his previous engagement (gee, I wonder what happened there?!) At the guys’ bachelor party, Brett is overly flirtatious with Henry’s female friend and is acting like a jackass in general. He ends up leaving early, as he seemed heavily intoxicated and hopefully embarrassed. My initial thoughts: He is not going to be attracted to Olivia because he seems to think he is very attractive, when in actuality he just looks like the dollar store version of Jim from “The Office”.  She is not going to put up with him acting like a jerk, and it won’t go very far. I can be wrong, and it’s way too early to tell, but that’s what I’m thinking so far. 

Amani & Woody:
Amani seems to be a low-key but fun loving type of girl (or as the experts dubbed her in their stupid headings “Ms Calm, Cool & Collected”), who likes to sew. I guess the common thread of “fashion” is what the experts went on to connect her to Woody, a 30 year old high school coach and teacher. His friends describe him as the life of the party, and can not picture him settling down with someone, as he seems to march to the beat of his own drum. Woody is also best friends with Miles, though they seem like they could not be more different. Woody is kind of squirrely and looks like he’s dancing even while he’s standing still, while Miles seems so good natured and genuine. Their mutual friends all seem shocked, as Woody is usually out for a good time (and he speaks in the third person, which makes being part of a couple and talking about it very difficult. I guess he will have to say “Woody and Mrs. Woody” now). Party of me thinks Woody signed up for this just for the shopping, since he seemed to be really into picking out his tux, deciding on a classing white jacket with black pants (he does have style, I’ll give him that). Amani seemed to loosen up at the girls’ bachelorette party and express that she’s hoping her groom is confident to make her feel less nervous, so maybe this WILL work after all. Hopefully Woody and his woodpecker behave and are actually in this for the right reasons. 

Henry & Christina:
Christina is a flight attendant that is super close with her mom. She claims she keeps looking for love in all the wrong places, and seems like the goodie two shoes of this season. Enter Henry, who seems pretty quiet and uncomplicated with almost as much personality, so far, as a sheet of paper. After finding out that he needed mitral valve surgery, he decided life’s too short and he wanted to “share his heart” with someone (see what I did there? Okay, dad joke). Henry was a former chubby kid who lacks confidence but would like to find someone to share his life with, nonetheless. Christina attended the bachelorette party with her sad puppy dog eyes and had a complete anxiety attack, as she is not used to laughing/drinking/dancing, and much prefers quietly eating with her friends. Don’t get me wrong, my idea of a good time isn’t exactly wearing a feathered boa and getting tea-bagged, but like at least stand in the corner and clap while the other girls are. She seems to be taking everything very seriously, and hopefully she will be happy with “the experts” bleh choice of husband. So far, I feel like this couple will be the most boring, and can’t predict if they will like each other.