Love After Lockup; Season 2, Episodes 2 & 3

Lacy & Shane (and sometimes SaJohn):
Lacy sped off to see ShaJohn, because he sent her a series of troubling texts, including one that said “I’m crying like a little bitch”. Talk about romance!
Shane and his friend (who looks like the 10 year challenge version of Shane) went out for dinner to discuss the state of Shane & Lacy’s relationship. Shane wants Chon out of the picture, and it looks like he gets his wish: Lacy discovered ShaJohn was arrested again, and this time without bond. Shane and Lacy went to get matching crotch tattoos to celebrate.


Sara, Michael, & Megan MaQueen:
Sara lawyer-ed up to figure out petitioning for custody of their two “pretty girls”. She stands to get a whopping $25/month in child support, which will be coming out of Michael’s jiggalo cash stream.
Meanwhile, Michael is still in Texas, holed up at the Holiday Inn with a cold. Megan goes to visit him and tries breaking into his phone, to see if he has any more “females” lined up. He catches her trying to get into his phone, and feels like being sneaky is a major deal breaker for him. Who doesn’t love irony?!
Michael’s friend Rock (aka a waste of a story line) shows up to the hotel to let Michael know he had relations with Megan. A dumb sidewalk brawl ensues. Michael is skeptical of Megan, now that she revealed she doesn’t want to be part of a harem. He quoted Aretha Franklin, and told Megan “What’s love for to do with it”. So close.
Michael’s frizz and forehead game were strong, along with his tufts of armpit hair, prominently displayed for all of America to see. In the last segment, we had to watch Michael brush his teeth for 5 minutes (not sure how someone could do something so hygienic and still make it look so disgusting), and call yet another woman. He seems to be touring the country, like a little Mikey Appleseed- let’s just hope no one is obulatin’.


Cheryl & Josh:
Welcome back Cheryl and Josh, who have reconciled since last we saw them. Cheryl is meeting up with her sister to discuss her plans to love to Colorado to be with Josh, who is still on parole.
Her sister is concerned that Cheryl is putting too much faith in Josh, and that she will once again end up broke and living with her parents. She should be more concerned with the fact that Cheryl tool her young soon to visit the reincarnation of John Wayne Gacy.
Cheryl and one of her kids arrive in Colorado, and call Josh on the most scripted phone call ever (Come on, production. Can you just TRY to pretend this is real? It’s like you’re not even trying anymore!). Cheryl and Josh are living with his mother until they can find their own love nest. I’m sure they will break up at least 3 times before they find one.

Clint & Tracie:
Well, the Goddess is back in jail, and seems to be having a 2007 Brittany Spears kind of situation going on with her hair. I was really rooting for her, but alas, it seems Tracy has started doing meth. The production crew interviews her from jail, as shes wearing some quilted sack type of thing, because she is on suicide watch due to an eating disorder. Apparently the story is, Tracie and Clint pulled over to “sleep for a few hours” in a parking lot, when a cop knocked on the window, pulled them out of the car and found drug paraphernalia on them. Clint bailed himself out, but the Goddess is still in the can.
Clint showed us the spot in the Kroger parking lot where he last saw his Goddess as a free woman, before heading to his parent’s house. Clint’s parents seem to feel badly for Tracie, but want him to stay away.

Brittany & Marcelino:
Brittany’s mother and sisters are in town, and everyone seems to be happy about the reunion. During a family dinner, Brittany speaks openly about her rough past, and her mother gets emotional. Marcelino doesn’t need a crystal ball to see what Brittany will look like when shes older…she and her mother could be twins! Later on, Brittany takes her mother to some park where she claims to have slept as a homeless teenager due to her parents’ neglect and alcoholism. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Andrea & Lamar:
Lamar is back at home with Andrea and the kids in Utah. They had a heated discussion about Lamar’s opposition to living in Utah, because he felt like it was “too white”. He doesn’t seem to be making a good case for moving the kids to L.A., since his brother was recently shot. Andrea just wants the best for her kids, who seem to be exceptionally mature and well spoken, though her daughter’s hair always looks like she just woke up. Every time.
It seems like the story line here is to Utah or NotUtah.

Angela & Tony:
The scene opens with Tony sleeping in his car to a song reminiscent of Tom Waitts. Angela is claims to be done with Tony’s cheating ways, though she’s still wearing the lug nut on her finger. Tony is determined to weasel his way back in, as hes paroled to her address. Later while talking to her sister, beer and cigarette in hand, Angela seems to backslide and sound like shes letting Tony back in. It’s like Aretha Franklin always said: “Love lifts us up where we belong”.