Emily & Kobe: Emily was mouth breathing around in her “Bride” robe, thinking over what a jerk she had been to Kobe the previous night at their rehearsal dinner (let alone all of the time). She decided to give him a call before the wedding to try and smooth things over, in hopes that he […]
Author Archives: ericashmerica
B-Lull & Shy-duh: Back at the “Oasis of Sophistication”…It’s business as usual, with Shy-duh aggressively scrubbing her Home Goods chachkas like she scrubs her lady parts, all while wearing gloves. Bilal was spending some quality time learning TikTok dances with his daughter (which will undoubtedly lower her following in no time). He checked in to […]
Kara & G-money: It was finally the wedding day, and the couple parted ways to get wedding-ready. Kara’s hair stylist worked overtime giving her a wet set of pin curls, making sure the higher the hair- the closer to God (and those two were practically high-fiving). Guillermo beamed adorably with pride in his suit, feeling […]
Emma-(LEEEEave, KOBE!, LEAVE!) & Poor Kobe: Back at the architect’s house with allegedly only one bathroom…Emily was yet again criticizing Kobe for playing with his son, before the couple headed out so Emily could pick out Kobe’s outfit for their wedding. Father Emily tagged along to give side-eye and pay for things. Kobe was excited […]
Patrick & Thighs: Back in the sterile kitchen…. Patrick decided to invite Thighs to their wedding, which he now decided will be taking place in Orlando. He figured since his brother and sister were randomly taking a vacation to Disney without him, he would crash the trip and it make it all about him, by […]
Summer’s Yve & Mohomobot3000: The couple went swinging into their last 70 days before being married (literally swinging…Moohamit was on a rope doing some kind of obstacle course). They took Yve’s son Tharan to the “Ninja Gym” to spend a little quality time doing something he really enjoys. But the fun and games only lasted […]
Kobe & Emily: Emily finally took Kobe’s lonely nights into consideration, and declared it was time to go mattress shopping. The two headed over to the local “Mattress Hog” (the only store that could accommodate her). Kobe and Emily seemed to be having a great time trying out the “magic fingers” model (now accepting Venmo […]
Emily & Kobe: The couple took a drive out to the picturesque area known as “Rock city” (which had nothing to do with Detroit or a rock lobster). It was indeed a field full of large dung-looking rocks, similar to the contents of Emily’s head. Kobe (like myself) was confused as to why they drove […]
Bile & Shy-duh: It was a family weekend over at B-lull’s good house, and Shy-duh decided to showcase her domestic skills in an attempt to bond with her new potential stepdaughter. She began teaching young Zayna how to make chicken from her homeland (Trinidad and/or Tobago). Before getting down to the recipe, she showed the […]
B-Lull & Shy-duh: Back at “the good house”…Shy-shy is still unsure if Blul wanted her to tote an egg. She strutted into the all-gray-everything living room wearing her “50 Shades of Oatmeal” outfit to protest going to “Jummah” (Friday night prayer service at Bilal’s place of worship). She felt uncomfortable attending after their last less-than-religious […]