Greta & Matthew: After last week’s tearful goodbye with her cat, Greta finally boarded her flight to England to be with the other love of her life, Matthew. She was ripe upon arrival, intoxicating her beloved with her pungent scent, which she attributed to schlepping her bags through the airport without wearing deodorant. They had […]
Jasmine, Matt & Gino: A very pregnant Jasmine reveled in all of her pink purchases as she prepared for the arrival of her baby girl. She felt that Matt’s mood had shifted ever since the gender reveal, and worried he was ashamed to introduce her to his family. Matt maintained that he was unsure of […]
Since they now have made up, Brandon and Julia decided to take her parents to visit Betty and Ron down on the family farm. Boris and Natasha marveled at all of the animal sights and scents, though they seemed to be more impressed with the hot sauce at dinner than the entire menagerie (Father Julia […]
Yara and Jovi were out at the dog park soliciting potential customers for Yara’s new fancy dog brand. She was about to have her big “launch party”, which involved setting up her luxury dog wares at some park restaurant for other bougie pet owners with nothing better to do. Loren stopped by under the guise […]
This week Tiffany was on a date with Jay (the guy who asked her out to get more screen time). The date seemed like more of an interview than a naturally flowing conversation, with Jay immediately moving in for an unprevoked makeout session so he can win first place male suitor. Tiffany resisted his advances, […]
Cole seems to have found himself in a pickle (Which is usually only a problem Jennifer has…). He apparently made up rumors that Elise and Rob were sleeping together, then when confronted, blamed Tiffany. Jennifer was turned off by Cole’s caddy display, so she strutted over to where Rob and Elise were relaxing by the […]
Darcey arrived in Bulgaria with her 9 suitcases full of the HouseOfEleven’s new conservative family-friendly line. Before it was time to dress to impress, the couple went to The Bulgarian Bed N Breakfast for a romantic honeymoon experience. Darcey decided to test out the acoustics of the room to ensure the yucky desk clerk wouldn’t […]
Brandon and Julia joined the roster this week, discussing married life post-therapy. Julia agreed to give the whole baby thing a try, as long as Brandon let her parents come and visit with the intention of moving to the U.S. The confusing part is that Julia’s parents are divorced, but would be coming to stay […]
Back at ladies’ night…. Jennifer and Elise were fighting about Jen’s treatment of Civilian Cole. Tiffany walked off, as a drunken Jen defended her sexual escapades to civilians Mei and Nikki (The “bi sexual” girl who Sojaboy thought wanted it in the back door). Back at the boys’ night, two of Tiffany’s suitors were squaring […]
Tigerlily and Adnan arrived at their luxury cabin where he was impressed by all of the many logs. Although the cabin wasn’t finished and there were boxes all over, Adnan seemed happy to eventually call it home. He especially enjoyed the impressive $20,000 toilet, which does just about everything except your taxes. After the house […]
