90 Day Fiance; S11 EP 5

Shekinah & The Sarper Image:

The twin flames touched ground in the US and partook in a little “PDA” (the one physical thing Sarper had never done with a woman, because…Turkey). After sucking each others’ faces off, they used their perfectly tanned and toned bodies to carry all of their luggage to the car and off they went towards their new future.
They made a pit stop to pick up Shekinah’s 2 dogs from her friend’s ridiculous mansion, which also contained a “house cow” named Ribeye. Sarper was enamoured with the adorable creature, stooping to pet and kiss Ribeye before he was put to bed in his own room. Sarper felt like life in America was going to be amazing….that was, until he stepped foot in Shekinah’s apartment.
Shekinah had described her to house as a “Live/Work” space, as she had her esthetician studio taking over the entire first floor. She explained that Sarper would need to leave when her clients came for their appointments, and he was unable to use the kitchen, so as not to stink the joint up. Sarper was worried that he would not be able to deal with all of the house rules, but hoped they could make things work. Hopefully he’ll be out of the house a bunch when he opens up his personal training business; “The Sarper Image”.

Stevi & Mahdi:

It was finally time for Mahdi to meet Father Stevi (Not some priest, but Stevi’s actual dad). Stevi drove through the dark woods where her father was waiting in the front yard with a bonfire and chain saw, just in case things needed to turn into a horror movie. Mahdi donned his patented “deer in headlights” look as he sat down for a family “roasting” around the fire. Papa Stevi opened the chat by comparing the obvious differences between Iran and America, emphasizing the way women are treated. Mahdi tried to reassure them that he had no plans to force Stevi into wearing “Jihad” (Which is trending for 2025 Fashion Week).
The small talk was followed by a small feast, where Mahdi got his first helping of Mac N Cheese, and some other heart clogging southern cuisine. He resisted all pork offerings, but didn’t realize the Marshmallows in his very first s’more probably contained gelatin, accidentally Haram-ing. Though Father Stevi seemed to feel Mahdi was nice enough during their first encounter, the jury was still out. Especially because he doesn’t blink…

Mark & Mina:

Mark flew his newly imported family down to North Carolina in his little plane so they could mingle with his old family. He revealed that he had told his daughter Jordan about the couple’s jacuzzi fight, which only fueled Mina’s bad attitude. They finally touched ground in North Carolina and headed to their AirBNB, almost leaving poor baby Maria in her special plane car seat (Or just a plane-seat?). Mina took her signature 3 hours to get ready (And somehow only looked slightly different than when she woke up). They walked towards the beach to meet Mark’s daughter Jordan and her boyfriend Gabe. Jordan wasted no time voicing her concern about the couples’ baby making endeavors, as she felt her dad was too old to be off making babies when he was old enough to be a grandfather. Mina of course got extremely annoyed, and the two ladies decided to go off on their own to have a stepmother/daughter chat. The conversation remained fairly cordial (probably due to Mina’s English comprehension), until Jordan brought up the fact that she didn’t want any more brothers or sisters. Mina disinvited her to the wedding, yelling that it was none of her business what she and Mark decide to do. Has anyone checked on baby Maria in a while? I feel like this kid keeps getting overlooked somehow and might still be on the plane..

Amani, Matt & Any:

Back in the hotel room, the throuple had been busy thruppling, as the cameras panned to a whole pile of legs intertwined in the bed. They packed up for a night in Ensenada where the couple would meet Any’s family and learn more about her regular life outside of the sheets. She admitted that she hadn’t told her family the truth about the unconventional situation, telling them instead that Matt was her boyfriend and Amani was the tag along. They finally arrived at their luxurious hotel room, where the three slipped into the hot tub. It was there that Any had mentioned she and Matt had gone for a twosome while third wheel Amani was sleeping. Amani was really angry, feeling like Matt wasn’t communicating about his permitted infidelity. Any apologized, and it seemed the two were on good terms, but the tension was already mounting. My prediction is that these three don’t even make it to the end of the season.

Shawn & Doualliya:

This week Dougalliya appeared in her pink power blazer, looking relieved that she had finally been approved for her Visa. She called the Burger King for a quick Facetime, where the two expressed their excitement about her upcoming move. Shawn met up with his functional alcoholic mother who seems like a really good time. They discussed the potential family drama that would inevitably come along with Dougalliya’s arrival, especially since Shawn had failed to mention anything about the relationship to his 3 children.
Back in Brazil, Dougalliya had one last dessert with his madre (That’s Mother, Kenny, and they speak Portuguese there, but you haven’t even finished your Spanish lessons so I’m not going to teach you Portuguese). She felt sad to be leaving her family, unsure of when she’d see them again, and questioned if marrying Shawn was the right thing to do. I’m going with….No. But his house is cool.

Jessica & JuantanAmerica:

Back at the bar (Which is made of dried cow dung), Juan was still being grilled by Jessica’s friends. He finally admitted he had cheated on Jessica while on the cruise ship, which caused Megan to cry for her bestie. Jessica admitted that she was aware of Juan’s ship to shore fling, and wrote it off, since she was emotionally having an affair at that time as well. Megan accidentally revealed that the man Jess had been talking to was an ex boyfriend (Who I’m assuming was named “Trevor”, or “Clayton”, or maybe “Gunnar”), which seemed to be news to Juan.
They left the bar with Jessica in the dog house, as she had previously left out the fact that the “emotional fling” was with someone from her past. They went back to the doorless domicile where she was hoping he would “Live, Laugh, and Love” as the sign suggested, but instead it was looking more like a “Sulk, Complain, Ignore” kind of night (That sign is hanging in the laundry room).