The Last Resort; Season 2 Episode 11

This episode of The Last Resort began with the oddly shaped therapist pulling Brandon and Julia aside to discuss the recent “bombshell” Julia had just dropped. Brandon sobbed, feeling like he could have spent the rest of his life not knowing Julia had briefly lip-locked with her former KGB boyfriend 4 years ago, as he now questioned their relationship moving forward. Julia, on the other hand, felt the need to get everything off of her chest to heal and move on. The therapist (Who isn’t even really a therapist, because budget cuts…) tried to convince them both that they were doing the right thing, but probably because she wasn’t a real therapist.

The rest of the crew were having a campfire breakfast, when Sophie came in hot claiming to have proof that Rob had been talking to other girls behind her back. She and Jasmine presented the court of jesters with eh-VUH-dense (Dinyell-style) that Rob the Knob had been up to his online cheating tricks. Rob became extremely defensive, shouting and showing off his armpit sweat stains as he threw a man tantrum. He maintained that he was only on a dating app because Sophie had told him to do it during one of their many hiatuses. Rob tried to prove that he wasn’t even on the site for long before feeling like it was wrong to try and date while married, as women on the dating app’s hearts broke everywhere. Also in the hot seat was Jush, who was trying desperately to defend himself against the dangerous gaze of Natalie. Apparently during the night they spent together in the tent, Jush had fought off her advances, which left her to believe he was “body shaming”, as the crazy-meter went from about 10 to 10,000 in a minute. She ran off into the desert (scaring off all natural predators) and was surprisingly comforted by Florian. He ran after her, slinging one of his chicken wire arms around her shoulders, and trying his best to have her calm down and apologize. Josh said he was sorry for anything Natalie might have thought he said or thought about her “budy”, which she pretended to accept, if only to get closer and try and kick him in the family Weinstein jewels.

Meanwhile, Sophie ran off to call her “mum” while seated on the cement floor of a public rest stop bathroom. She cried and cried about how mean “Rub” was being, as Jasmine swooped in to play the “mommy” role, consoling her and reminding her to stay hydrated. Later on the awkwardly shaped therapist pulled the whole crew back into the desert for a group“breathing exercise”, which had sort of a “wax on/wax off” vibe mixed with a lot of primal screaming. Ari was the first to have a nervous breakdown this time, calling everyone else a moron as she ran off to cry to production…..but no one cared, because she’s so unlikeable for some reason. Jasmine was uncharacteristically calm, loving the freelance screaming exercise as it seemed to give her a bit of release. (She loves yelling…)

Next thing ya know, they were back at the resort, where Jasmine calmly confronted Gino about his half truth answers during the hypnotherapy exercise. He reluctantly started to tell her his deep dark secret, which of course was left as a cliffhanger for next week. Whatever it is, I’m guessing Jasmine will be doing a lot of primal screaming.