Before the 90 Days Season 7 Tell All Part 4

Last week’s Tell All left off with Loren and Faith inevitably ending their ridiculous journey. Shaun called for a much needed break, as they all headed off to grab free snacks, which is the real reason why they’re there (Well, at least Loren..way better than eating garbage and drinking pee) Vanja decided to chat it up with the leaky leprechaun, asking what he thought would happen with Faith in the future. Salty wet gonorrhea tears flowed from Loren’s creepy eyeballs and into his salad, as he pretended to be broken hearted over his most recent break up (But I’m sure he’ll be married to someone else by the next commercial break).

Back on set, the attention moved towards Brian, who tried to prove he was unphased by his breakup with Ingrid, by admitting to have started a new relationship 5 minutes after they had broken up in Brazil. Shaun played some “never before seen” clips filmed approximately 20 minutes after the infamous hotel breakup scene, where Brian was posing with what appeared to be a “lady of the evening” from the bowels of Brazilian Craig’s List. Unfortunately that relationship didn’t work out, but he did meet yet another woman from Colombia named “Nathy” who he is currently smitten with. Nathy was brought out on the big screen to have some kind of group therapy session with Ingrid and divulge her recent experience being Brian’s flavor of the hour. Nathy revealed that Brian yells a lot, lies, and sees other women (Who’s names hopefully start with the letter “N”, given the fact that he was wearing a giant rhinestone N necklace supposedly in her honor). Brian tried to pawn off his appalling behavior on the old wheelchair excuse, claiming that his lady-hopping was really just an example of his “YOLO” attitude, since he could keel over at any moment…. Like every other human being.

Joey Boombots was next up in the hot seat, as Shaun questioned him over his past hookups with some of his female friends. This seemed to be news to MagMuh, who only knew about the one former fling, and instantly began shooshot hot lava stares at him through the screen. The other cast members made suggestions to help Joey, such as Loren’s brilliant idea of making a flow chart of all of the people he’s ever slept with, which is something he personally had done to ease Faith’s worries (And also helped to trace the gonorrhea back to Patient X). As they went to a break, Joey ran backstage to call MadNuh and try to smooth things over, though she seemed to already be working on her “attack” command for her dog, Hades. Brian and Loren were gossiping about the Joey situation as if they didn’t both have an unbreakable cloud of “ick” hovering above their creepy heads. Vanja did her best to play “group therapist” as she flitted around between cast members, trying to help everyone with their problems with a pink sparkly smile. Tigerlily & Adenoids maintained their superiority complexes, while Niles seemed humbled by the entire Tell All experience, and focused his energy towards playing “squishy squishy” with Matilda through video chat. It is safe to say that this Tell All was a bit of a let down… I am waving goodbye to it with Mr. Arc’s wooden hand, which I hope is the only possible recurring cast member from this season moving forward.