Before the 90 Days; Season 7 Tell All Part 3

Week three of the Tell All began with Niles semi threatening to dismember Anan (Which….would be exactly what this Tell All could use to make it interesting. The ID Discovery Channel crossover we might need). It seems the extreme aggression was left over from last week, when Niles went full blown Stefan Urkel on the unsuspecting but increasingly more annoying Adenoids.

The Josko segment that was teased for weeks finally started. He popped up on the big screen, conveniently located right next to Bozo, as if all of Vanja was displaying her weird and unlikable Croatian man trophies. Vanja described her abrupt ending with Josko, which left her confused and devastated, especially since she let him loosen her chastity belt. Josko robotically apologized, but made things worse when he described in monotone detail some of their intimate “technical issues”. Feeling hurt that he would talk about personal details with the world, Vanja let everyone know that Josko had taken a video of them “Joskoing” without her knowledge (That’s a verb now. It’s specific to when someone has sex with a man who wears tiny underwear for more than 3 episodes on national television). Of course this news didn’t go over well with the rest of the cast (and world), though he assured Vanja he deleted it. Not only was Niles appalled and disgusted by Josko’s actions, but the sentiment was shared by his Tell All arch nemesis, Adnan, who told Josko this kind of thing was illegal (But not because he had violated Vanja’s privacy, but because she was naked in the video, and women shouldn’t be naked).
After the notorious Orlando visit, Vanja still decided to go to Croatia, since the plane ticket had been booked, and the two met up to see if they could work something out. She admitted that they did share one last face-sucking kiss, but Josko wouldn’t let it go any further (I guess his phone ran out of storage). He felt the relationship wouldn’t be able to move forward and wished her well, in the most monotone Joskoey way ever.

Veah and Sunny had their time in the spotlight, but I’m not exactly sure what happened because I was too busy staring at her pigtails. I believe the gist was that everyone including Sunny still felt she had a romantic connection with Ex Boyfriend Rory (Or “Rurry” said in Veah’s muppet voice) though she vehemently denied it. Rurry was even brought out on video to deny any Veah canoodeling, and I believe him, because he seemed trustworthy. His house was an absolute mess, and that really speaks to me.

Then things moved on to Loren, who had to have backup brought back on stage in the form of his friend Esther. She claimed that he had been serious about marrying Faith before, as he is every 25 minutes when he attempts to marry anyone. Loren announced that he and Faith were getting ready to take a trip to Thailand together, which was convenient timing, since the laws for same sex marriage had just been changed. This was all news to Faith, who didn’t even consider herself engaged let along ready to marry the leaky lothario, but agreed she could use an all expenses paid vacation (Well, all expenses totalling $46). There is still one more episode of this Tell All, which is pretty hard to imagine. The previews showed Loren crying, and I’m pretty sure gonorrhea can be passed on through tears.