The Last Resort; Season 2 Episode 9

This week, Brandon and Julia got to stay in the honeymoon suite after winning the therapy contest last week. But instead of having sexy time in a new and much more romantic setting, Julia decided to invite the whole gang over. Jasmine was the first to arrive at the soiree, immediately asking the couple if they had christened their new suite. She was shocked to find out that Julia had been “Pulling a Gino” on Brandon (aka wearing a hat and refusing sex). She decided to become the unofficial “sex therapist” (Can’t be worse than the other one) and recommended that Brandon give Julia a pasty white lap dance, sure to entice, if not just blind.

Meanwhile, back in the courtyard of the resort…. Stacey and SlowFlo along with Mr & Mrs. “The Knob” met up with two of the therapists for another asinine activity. Each couple were instructed to sit on a blanket for “sand tray therapy”, where they were given a bunch of dollhouse toys to play with (Due to budget cuts, TLC had to hire preschool teachers instead of actual therapists). The couples had fun playing in their own personal litter boxes, making up little scenarios that somehow were supposed to pertain to their relationships. Rob displayed a small plastic rhino toy, explaining that it represented Sophie’s mother’s disapproval of him. Sophie’s sand castle also had something to do with mommy issues, as the two pretended to cry. Stacey set up a few dolls that looked like they had been melted by a magnifying glass in the sun representing herself and twin sister Darcey, who’s relationship has recently been more tumultuous than ever. She felt hurt that Darcey had been buddying up to Florian lately, defying “twin code”. Flo, on the other hand, remained unphased as usual, claiming he didn’t know how to play with sand. Or toys. Or play pretend. He just likes squinting and occasionally yelling in random directions.

After the “therapy” session, Stacey and Florian met up with GeeKnow in the hot tub to discuss their relationship issues. Gino was worried about going to the Brandon/Julia party, as he didn’t feel like dealing with another Jasmine fight. Speaking of the party… Flo felt insulted that he wasn’t personally invited, and didn’t want to go out of spite. Stacey tried to reassure her zombified counterpart that the entire cast had been invited at the same time (Of course because it was planned to be filmed…) but Flo-rida likes to receive a piece of stationary. Since no one was showing up to the suite, Jasmine took Julia out to the hot tub area on a recruiting mission. They snagged Gino and Bini, who were unsure of what to expect. Of course Jasmine wound up fighting with Florian, as he was now her sworn enemy of the season, which didn’t seem to phase him, but in turn really upset Stacey (She loves girl code and doesn’t want to defy it. But she also loves “relationship code” and doesn’t want to mess that up either. She just loves codes. I wonder if House of Eleven makes decoder rings…) Previews for next week showed Natalie showing up to the villa, where everyone let her know she was actually a psychopath (It’s a new form of therapy and doesn’t even require a sand box). Hopefully next week will be more entertaining.