Before the 90 Days; Season 7 Tell All Part 2

The second installment of the Tell All began with some very aggressive words from Niles towards Adnan, as he felt he was trying to control the very silent Tigerlily. Shaun asked Niles to focus on some of his own issues, such as his “occasional lying” due to his Autism and how it was a bit of a problem in his relationship. Niles maintained that Matilda did not come up with the idea of getting married, as it was his future plan, but she sure did rush it once mentioned. Shaun played back clips of their season, even bringing in Mr.Arc via satellite who was equally as intimidating on the big screen as he was in person. Mr. Arc’s outift was giving off “Ghanaian Elder” vibes, as his hand shined from the lemon Pledge he must have used before his big Tell All debut. He defended his son, Niles, making it known that even uttering the word “marriage” in the Ghanaian culture mean’s you’d better book a venue- or else (And by “or else” I mean you receive a Mr. Arc wooden hand-slap to the face). Adnan continued to taunt Niles throughout the segment, watching him get more and more worked up until ultimately he had to leave the state to calm down. The rest of the cast all felt like Niles was pushed into marriage by Daddy Dearest before he was ready, and ultimately Niles agreed (But was that party of the “masking” thing?? I guess we’ll never know…).

Eventually Niles returned to set, and was immediately scolded by both Matilda and Papa Arc, being told to apologize for his outburst. Adnan eventually stopped yelling out random antagonistic comments, as the show went to break. Backstage, Tigerlily finally spoke for the first time, claiming that Niles is all bark and no bite. Loren joined Vanja and Brian backstage, where he busted out his infamous “girlfriend quiz” that he likes to give to unsuspecting future gonorrheans. Vanja picked up the crumbly paper test for a closer look, hopefully remembering to wash her hands afterwards. Magically after the break, Bozo was able to return to the big screen as his “important business meeting” must have recently ended. There was really no point in coming back, as everyone had basically forgotten about him and he didn’t really have anything to add.

The attention moved over to Joey Boombots and MagMa, who announced they are still going strong. Since the season had ended, MagNa had been to visit Joey in the U.S., even taking time to meet his famiglia. Although managed to get the stamp of approval from the Joe Corleone clan, he still has yet to propose. Joey felt pressured to pop the question, mainly because MagNa asked him to every 20 minutes, despite the fact that he wanted to do things on his own terms. Feeling like he was a bit of an expert in the “proposal” department, Brian chimed in. He tried giving advice to the Italian Stallion, who reminded him that he has proposed to every woman that he comes into contact with. Magda admitted to being so obsessed with getting married that she had been wearing her own fake engagement ring since she first spoke to Joey, as to ward off other male suitors…. on the volleyball court. Or in the Siberian prison where she worked.. Shaun brought up the whole “Joey almost missing his flight” thing from one of his first episodes, questioning what really happened when production came a-knockin’. He claimed he had slept in due to a previous night’s drunken stupor, and asked to go back to his apartment not because he had forgotten his passport, but because he had forgotten the to-go shooters he had made on the plane. While everyone gasped at his irresponsibility in almost missing his international flight, Joey maintained it was fiscally responsible, as shooters at the airport are way overpriced. MagMa didn’t seem all that Mad-Muh hearing this, as she had spent time around Joe and was familiar with his drinking habits (Though she checked the bottom of every glass, looking for a ring). Shaun cut to yet another break, as we saw Tigerlily and Vanja having a little “girl chat” backstage. The lady talk was interrupted by Adenoids, who seemed to mock Vanja for her flashy and revealing outfits. He refused to continue the conversation, citing religious differences, after strutting around and performing his best Vanja impression.

Back on set, things moved to Sunny and Veah, who announced they had broken up upon her return to the states. During their hiatus, she admitted to going on a date with her pet sitter, but claimed it wound up being platonic. She and Sunny reconnected a month later, and are happy to tell the crew they are still going strong. Adnan couldn’t fathom how Sunny could forgive Veah for being with another guy, let alone how he could sleep with her before marriage (He was #TeamMagma). There was a lot of theological discourse between the two Muslim men, with Sunny ultimately trying to rationalize his premarital behavior. The rest of the cast pointed out that Veah was being delusional about Sunny not wanting her to convert, especially since he had told her it was what he wanted. They moved on to Brian and Ingrid, who claimed they hadn’t spoken since his departure from the hotel in Brazil. The subject immediately went to the ex couples’ awkward sexual encounter, with the cast having mixed opinions on the situation. Tigerlily especially felt like Ingrid was leading Brian on, since she had paraded around the hotel room in the less-than-burka lingerie. Brian was glad at least one person was on his side, and further tried to demonize Ingrid by saying she had announced in the heat of the moment that she had a boyfriend. She of course denied this, and claimed that oral fixation felt a bit too private for their first act of intimacy (And she probably couldn’t stop picturing the catheter. It’s all I picture when I see his face). Brian’s daughter was brought on screen to try and win him a few brownie points, but even she admitted that there were a lot of holes in the couples’ story. She felt that the two ex lovebirds never discussed anything real, and revealed that she is only a year younger than Ingrid, really upping the “ick” factor. Looks like we will have to wait until Part Three for the infamous “Josko” previews that were teased. At least Niles has been marked “Safe”.