Before the 90 Days; Season 7 Episode 19:

Niles & Matilda:

Mr. & Mrs. Nlies Valentine were happy to report that they had consummated their marriage (Hopefully respecting the wishes of Mr. Arc and using the front entrance only). They decided to spend their first day as married people by visiting the local cultural center where there were dancers and singers showing off their moves. Niles’ Autism was put to the test as the dancing people in brightly colored outfits beat the drums, overloading his senses and even encouraging him to participate. He managed to hold his own, as the new Mrs. looked on, helping him get his groove back.
After the dance session, Niles and Matilda sat down to lunch to discuss their future plans. Even though he had recently become unemployed, Niles was happy to announce he had gone on an interview before the trip and just found out he got the job. He planned to save every penny to be able to bring Matilda back to the U.S. (And hopefully pay back Mr. Arc….. I bet he’d get a splinter to the face if Mr. Arc slapped him with that fake hand). Matilda was somewhat worried that Niles may not be telling her the whole truth, as she had caught him half-truthing her before (I.E. see the whole “Had enough money to marry her” and “He was financially stable”). Niles reassured his new wife that his fibs were merely an Autism thing, and he promised to tell her any and all inconvenient truths in the future.
Later we saw the two ride off to the airport for their big goodbye. Matilda cried, as she claimed she would really miss her “squishy”, which made Niles feel more sure than ever he had made the right decision and married the correct Facebook Friend Request. Previews for next week’s Tell All show Niles almost getting into a fight with Adnan..which was not something I had on my 90 Day Bingo Card….

Sunny & OhVeyHA:

It was Veah’s last day in town, as she prepared to reconnect with Father Sunny and apologize for running out during their previous dinner engagement. She decided to bring a chocolate cake as a peace offering, hoping he would not only forgive her but also be excited about the two’s recent engagement (Not sure this man loves chocolate that much).
Veah flatly greeted her future father-in-law with a “Hi. How are you.” before bluntly letting him know she had brought cake. Father Sunny returned the lackluster greeting, before deciding to spend the rest of the conversation exclusively speaking to his Sun. Or Son Or Sunny. Veah tried to apologize for her prior rude behavior, blaming it on anxiety, which was a new term to the tiny-faced anxiety-producer. Father Sunny was unphased by her apology, whether it was due to Anxiety, Autism, or anything else, as things grew more tense. Sunny decided to come clean, letting his dad know that the two had gotten engaged, and that he’d be moving to the U.S. to live with his muppet impersonator fiance. Father-Sun (and the holy spirit) was upset, claiming to disown Sunny for ruining his “religious guy” street cred, as he took off. Although Sunny’s feelings were hurt, his tiny dad’s reaction was exactly what he expected, and he decided to shrug it off. Veah, on the other hand, continually asked if there was anything they could do to get him to like her (But I’m guessing he also does not take ApplePay).
Truthfully I don’t think Father Sunny will have anything to worry about… these two will be done faster than it takes the poor nail technician to paint Veah’s sharp talons…..That being said, I hope he ate the cake.

Joey Baggadonuts & Lukewarm MagMa:

It was the morning after Joey had come clean about his relationship with his friend Jill (7 years prior…) and Magma appeared to still be sizzling. JoeJoe reiterated that he was sorry he hadn’t told her sooner, and promised it wouldn’t happen again. Ultimately she decided to forgive him, but would never forget (As her dog “Hades” was on standby, ready to bite his “penes” if need be). Joey appreciated her forgiveness, and presented her with a gift; A seed bead necklace he had gotten her early that morning in hopes to sweeten his apology (The necklace was hot…it fell off the back of the truck. He knew a guy…..).

After they made up, the two went on a trip to the mountains to a sheep farm where they sampled a little sheep milk cheese (It’s an aphrodisiac in some circles). As they enjoyed their beautiful surroundings and cheesy sheep breath, they discussed the possibility of an engagement. Of course MagNa was hoping he was going to propose upon arrival, but she agreed to settle on a future proposal, after she met his friends and family in the U.S. (Who I’m sure would all love her sparkling personality. Fuggetaboutit).
It was finally time to head to the airport, as Magna expressed concern for their relationship once it was back to long distance. Joey Boombats reassured her that he had every intention of spending his life with her, and making her a “made” woman. I guess the Tell All will Tell!

Vanja &……I’m not sure who anymore:

Back in Orlando, Vanja was sitting at the beach with her cousin, discussing the downfall of her new relationship with Josko. Apparently after he visited Florida and got the “green light” to remove her 6 year old chastity belt, he told Vanja she was “needy”. He then ghosted her for 5 days before finally coming out and telling her he felt she didn’t have “motherly instincts” (Which might be a good thing depending on the mother, i.e. Mother Asuelu, who doesn’t care about the kids and just wants the money, or Mother SueMeee who only cares about the number of diarrheas). Vanja felt short changed, as she had never even had a chance to meet Josko-Jr., and felt the couple’s connection was strong enough to make things work.

Later we saw Vanja in all of her belly dancing glory take a quick break from her shimmying to have a video chat with Josko. It seemed that after some time he had reached back out, and the two were once again in communication. While they were together, she had made plans to go back to Croatia to visit, but wasn’t sure if she should cancel now at the risk of being foreign friend-zoned again. Josko told her he needed time to think about it, as the segment ended on a cliffhanger (I’m picturing Josko hanging off of a cliff in nothing but his underwear- his favorite look).
Previews for the Tell All suggest that the celebrity couple “Vanjko” is no more…

Tigerlily & Adenoids:

Back in Texas, T-Lily met up with her glam squad to discuss her recent life events. Currently in her second trimester, T-Lily and her 2 kids were living in a hotel while awaiting a remodel of a cabin she and Adnan had purchased. She explained that Adenoids had been doing some questionable things recently, such as deciding to keep his apartment in Jordan when he was supposed to be moving to the U.S. and making his brother his power of attorney. She was concerned she could be left high and dry with a new baby Add-On to take care of, and wanted to make sure she was protected in the worst case scenario (File that under “Things to think about before marrying a foreign 22 year old stranger”). Both her hairstylist Cruz and her esthetician Shay agreed she needed to look into a postnuptial agreement (Though I’m going to have to question anything Cruz said after seeing his bizarre dreads/headband combo this week).
Tigerlily sniffled through frustrated tears as she agreed, and immediately called Adnan to question his shady moves. Back on videochat, post greeting each other with babytalk, Adnan became defensive, refusing to give up his apartment as he shouted at her before hanging up the phone. I’m still wondering if at any point this whole “22 year old cute guy from the internet” thing is going to wear off for her. Previews for next week show Adnonymous getting a little spicy at the Tell All! But if he hurts one hair on Niles’ head, me and Mr. Arc are going to have to come to Jordan. (I don’t want to sit next to him on the plane, though. He seems like he’d really annoy the flight attendants and be kind of a “Karen”).