90 Day Fiance; Before the 90 Days Season 7 Episode 15

Vanja & NoMore Bozo:

Trying to make the most of her Croatian Vacation, Vanja decided to hop back on the dating apps in hopes of finding another bozo to love. She was feeling a bit hopeless after her first date proved to be another flatlined love connection, but was relieved when she met a tall buff man named Josko. After texting back and forth they decided to have their first encounter on the beach for a little kayaking adventure.
Vanja was excited to see a super muscular Josko topless in his itsy bitsy teeny weenie bikini shorts (Accent on the “weenie” part) as they slid into the water for some seaside fun. They seemed to have an immediate connection, as they paddled through the Adriatic sea (And all I could think of was that guy who got eaten by the Tiger shark in Egypt, because Shark Week). After their water activities, Josko had Vanja hold up a beach towel so he could change into his regular underoos, and it appeared things were starting to look “up” for her in the “physical attraction” department.
Things were going so well that Vanja gave Josko an invitation back to her fancy shmancy apartment. The two cuddled up as she discussed her trip’s awkward origin story with Bozo, who was now just a clownish memory. As they enjoyed some vegan takeout, Josko told Vanja about his recent adoption of his now one year old son, Lucas. Apparently he had gotten to a point in his life where he wanted to be a father, even though he hadn’t yet met that someone special, and decided to adopt a child. Vanja seemed really impressed by his noble and thoughtful act, commending Papa Josko on making such a big decision. She then quickly realized that dating a single dad from another country may be a bit tough, as he would most likely not want to come to the U.S., and she hadn’t really planned on becoming a mom any time soon. Maybe Josko just adopted a baby to impress the ladies?? I mean, he did claim he was ready to take her out the following night…. How is he able to get a sitter so easily?!? (Maybe Bozo agreed to babysit…he felt bad)

Faith & Leaky Loren:

After the drag show fight, Faith and Loren attempted to hash things out over a coconut drink. He tried to explain away the “flirtation” incident by claiming he was joking around with some teenagers at the club. Faith remained suspicious, given his prior track record, as she gave him her best side eye, but still somewhat accepted his tall tales. Faith now has cooties and it’s her own fault.

Joey BagaDonuts & MagMa:

The two went to Magma’s hometown (a volcano) where Joey Boombats decided to cook her a nice romantic dinner. He admired the town’s aesthetic, which was all modeled after the iconic blue triangular rooflines of the IHop region (It’s called culture, Kenny. Look it up). After picking up some dinner ingredients at one of the IHops, they finally arrived at Casa de MagNuh, where Joey took control of the tiny kitchen.
He decided to whip up some thin kind of meat sauce over a twirly pasta, without any gabbagool. As the two sat down for dinner, Joey eased into the tough conversation about taking the relationship at a slower pace, as he felt like he wanted to get to know each other better before diving into an engagement. Liquid hot magma shot out of MagDuh’s eyes while Joey spoke, as she felt like Joey was going back on all of the plans they had discussed over the phone before they had even met in person. She began to shut down, leaving her pasta for the dog, as she stomped off to the bedroom to go to bed alone.
Seems like Joey should just go back to the IHop for something Rooty Tooty Fresh N Fruity, which would be far better than the MagPie he was currently served.

Sunny & Oy VeyHa:

This is the worst episode of “Three’s Company” I’ve ever seen…. Sunny & Vey-Ha were back this week, and decided to meet up with ex boyfriend/ professional third wheel Rory. The three set out on a little safari where Sunny secretly hoped to feed Rory to a lion, if the opportunity presented itself. Though the air was tense, they seemed to bond over seeing a randy zebra expressing his manhood in the wild. While Veah stopped to pop a squat in a nearby bush, Sunny took the opportunity to talk privately to Rory and somewhat make amends. Rory was still skeptical over Sunny’s true intentions and wondered if he was even that serious about Veah, being that he hadn’t yet brought her to meet his family. Veah returned to the car just in time to catch the “Meet the Parents” portion of the conversation, to which she noted she had no intention of converting to Islam or covering up her dumb tattoos.
Previews for next week show a very stressful meeting between Sunny, his father, Veah, and the unibrow. Only one of them makes it out intact…..(It’s definitely going to be the unibrow. That thing won’t budge). I for one was hoping someone would have at least gotten attacked by a wild animal during the safari (Though Veah might not have been able to tell you which animal, since they all look alike to her).

Ingrid & Brian:

Just when I had almost forgotten about them, they rolled back in.. Brian was trying to see if Ingrid was really nursemaid/ wife material. He felt as if she wasn’t even trying to pretend to like him and accused her of being all talk, no action. Brian continued to play the victim card, going as far as to accuse Ingrid of using him to get to the U.S. This made her so enraged that she got up and stormed off, leaving Brian in the dust. I’m just hoping she doesn’t fall for any more of his “I’m sorry” floral bouquets or remote control cars.