90 Day Fiance-Before the 90 Days; Season 7 Episode 14;

Faith & Leaky Loren:

The two ended their hometown visit and wound up back in Manilla. As they rode back to home-sweet-hotel, Loren did his best to convince Faith that he was madly in love with her (and not just the Philippines, where you can apparently live for 2 weeks off of $48). He was especially thrilled to let her know he had been retested at the local clinic, presenting her with the doctor’s “all-clear” of his gonorrhea (I believe the actual paper read “No longer infected with the illness of the wh0re$). To celebrate the milestone, they decided to hit up a drag queen bar with a few friends, as one does.
Though Faith seemed to be eager to give him a second chance, her friends were a lot less forgiving. They agreed to be supportive of Faith, as they all accompanied her to the drag bar to be both spectators and participants. After watching a few of the performers, they egged Faith on to get up on the stage and work the pole, which hopefully was also cleared of gonorrhea. Loren seemed intrigued by Faith’s moves, and complimented her flirtatiously when she returned to the table. We then got to watch Faith willingly contract mouth gonorrhea as she and Leaky Loren shared their first kiss (Godspeed, Faith). Loren bragged to all of her friends about his job back home as a drag queen underwear retriever, which he seemed very proud of. The friends were not convinced that he could be loyal, and questioned his motives and future plans if he were to move to the ‘Peens (I’m thinking that’s a nickname Loren might give to the Philippines).
A fun night was had by all, as they all left the club and waited to catch an Uber back to the hotel. As Faith was about to get into her ride, her friends pulled her aside to let her know that they witnessed Loren making kissy faces at a fellow drag queen when she had turned her back. Of course this sparked even more trust issues for the two as they rode in the cab, which may have indirectly saved Faith from further STD infections. Note to the drag bar owner; Please bleach wipe your chairs after this episode.

Niles & Matilda:

After last week’s disastrous meeting with the one-handed Mr. Arc, Niles and Matilda seemed out of sorts. They sat on the edge of their hotel bed as Niles finally announced he felt confident enough in their relationship to go through with the “Two-fer” package of the knock door ceremony/wedding on this visit. Matilda was elated to hear him confess his undying love and commitment, as he felt like she was his true soulmate.
They called Mr. Arc to head back to the Family Matilda compound so they could negotiate the terms of marriage. After getting the male elders to agree, Mr. Arc whittled down the bride price to only 1 bottle of Schnapps (Any flavor, but peppermint seems to be a fan favorite), wedding clothes, a laundry bag (I get mine from Ikea), and $400 USD. Though Niles agreed to the ransom…err, I mean, “wedding terms”, he knew he had to come clean and be honest about his financial situation to his bride- to-be.
Now that the terms had been set, the couple only had 2 days to plan their dream wedding. They strolled over to the ATM for Niles to take out cash, only to find that he had a mere $149. He admitted to Matilda that he had lost his job immediately before he had left for the trip, but didn’t want to tell her and spoil their good time. To top things off, he had stopped paying attention to his spending on the trip, and was now unsure of how he would be able to buy her. Matilda looked crushed once again, as she was mortified to tell her relatives (who were clearly used to sheer extravagance) that Niles was broker than a joker. Maybe they have “knock door” coupons in the pennysaver? My only hope is that Mr. Arc smacks someone with his wooden hand before we leave Ghana.

Tigerlily & Adenoids:

In short, Tigerlily agreed to wear her favorite burkini to the hotel’s local swimming hole, but only if Adnanymous covered his sacred man-chest with a t-shirt. He then complained that her zippered catsuit swimwear was too revealing, as she complained in a baby voice, and cried. He’s Muslim, which is a word she’s never heard of. The End.

Joey Baggadonuts & Liquid Hot MagMa:

After last week’s fight over the pre-dating “cheating” non-scandal, Magnuh is still in a pissy mood. In hopes of turning things around, Joey D booked a day trip to the salt mines, hoping she could sweeten her salty ‘tude. As they drove on, Joey made bad jokes, trying to lighten the mood (And also showcase the “dad joke” possibilities, if Magma got her way with a rushed pregnancy).
Deep within the salt mines, they “oo-ed” and “ahh-ed” over the elaborate salt sculpture which dated back 700 years ago, when Morton first discovered it and got that little girl with the umbrella to pose for their logo. Despite all of the fun a salt mine can bring, Magduh still couldn’t sem to lighten up, as she was convinced Joey would cheat on her yet again. Eventually SlowJoe convinced his “salt bae” that he was only dedicated to her, which for some reason seemed to provoke a migraine. Joey spent the night back at the airBNB nursing her through her monster headache, which was apparently just the medicine their relationship needed. Magduh claimed no one had ever cared for her in quite the same way that Joe did, and finally started to lighten up and believe he was serious about their relationship. The following morning, Joey awoke in his kimono, sharing that he had in fact shared the bed with Magnanamous, though no funny business was reported.
Since she was feeling better it was time to meet up with The Friends Magduh, and more importantly, her dog Hades, the “Penes-biter” (He was rumored to have bitten a cheating ex’s pen15, and now that man is dating Loren). The friends revealed Magma’s past rushed relationship with her former German gentleman, which made Joey worry that he was just part of a pattern for her, and he began to question her motives. Previews for next week show more trouble in Polish paradise, as Joe slows his roll in proposing over a pitiful plate of pasta.

Vanjz & Bozo:

Now that she’s on her own unexpected “eat pray love” vacation, Vanja went to a beautiful park to go over things with her cousin via video chat. Cousin Vanja encouraged her to get back on the Tinder horse and find another Croatian man to show her a good time.
Trying to make the best of the situation, Vanja took her tousled hair to a cafe, where she sat to have a non-hot chocolate, which looked more like pudding. Magically (And by Magically, I mean thanks to the production crew), she was joined by a random lone Swiss man, who sat down and told her how amazing she looked. Approximately 2.7 minutes into the conversation he managed to tell her he was in a relationship, though it was recently “opened” to new members. Though she declined to keep in touch with the Swiss man from central casting, she began to soften to the idea of seeing what the local dating apps had to offer. Previews for next week show a much taller, “The Rock”-esque looking male accompanying her to a beach in a very tiny swimsuit. Let’s hope he didn’t bring a dumpster plant.