90 Day Fiancé- The Other Way; Season 6 Tell All Part 1:

Corona arrived at the Tell All in a ridiculous outfit, ready to tell her side of the story. Josh and James convened in the green room, each looking more awkward in their silky Asian man shirts as they exchanged pleasantries. Joanne entered the room wearing a pound of metaphysical jewelry, while Sarper and Shekinah came floating in like the Soap Opera stars that they are. Before they took to the stage, Shekinah and Sarper pre-gamed by snacking on a stick of butter, which was part of their joint carnivore diet (It was the sexiest butter I’ve ever seen). It was finally time to head to set, as everyone took their places. Shaun went around greeting each couple, checking in lightly before getting down to business. Corona was first in the hot seat, unabashedly bashing Ingi, as she declared they were splitsville for some time now. Ingi chimed in via satellite, seeming not to know why she was so hostile towards him, as his giant head took up the entire screen. The attention shifted towards Turkey and America’s joint sweethearts.

Sarper was now stateside, ready to tear up the town if not for Shekinah’s raging jealousy. Turns out she had a reason to be jealous, as there was a woman brought on the screen, who just so happened to be one of Sarper’s X’s from his infamous notebook. This “X”, however, was also a friend/therapist, with whom Sarpie had shared some of his inner most thoughts. She tried to tell Shekinah that she was too controlling, which only sent her into a wild rage of jealousy where she stormed off the stage and hid out in her dressing room. Eventually Sarper went to check on her, explaining that he had been faithfully committed to her, despite all of his online sexy group chats he was secretly a part of. Though Shekinah was annoyed, she couldn’t stay mad at the Turkish Ken Doll for long, and the two made up. Next they checked in on Lily and Josh, who were still communicating like weird robots and not sleeping together. Josh sat like a droopy pound puppy, concurring that he felt emasculated and thus could not initiate turning Lily’s libido dial on (Did he try unplugging her and plugging her back in??). Everyone went around the room discussing their “Body counts”, with of course Sarper having the highest in the world, proudly reminding everyone about the 2,500 lucky ladies (And still no gonorrhea, Sorry Loren). Shekinah threatened to reveal her magic number, but refrained, as Sarper was full of jealousy….and jokes. He really should be hosting the Tell Alls from now on.

Things moved over to James and Metallica, who were together in the states discussing the state of their annoying relationship. Metata wanted her sister Angel to come though James had reservations since Angel had made up lies about him and tried to sabotage their marriage….no big deal. The rest of the cast agreed with James, except for the one disgusting joke he made about Metallica’s “job” to keep him satisfied…which was a lot, coming from a man wearing a crystal orb necklace who has lied to everyone in his life. Sean was at the Tell All wearing a well tailored suit, which was probably my highlight, and I guess Joanne was there too. Other than that, if you missed this one, you missed nothing. Let’s hope Part Two picks up from here!