90 Day Fiance- The Other Way; Season 6 Episode 7

James & Metallica:

Back in the booming banana chip sector…
James was getting a crash course in BananaChip 101….which somehow includes grating cheese at an Olive Garden level. Unfortunately the banana bizz doesn’t yield a high return, as the retail value per bag is 96 cents. James began to realize that although he excelled at the art of banana chippery, there was no way the banana fruits of his looms would be able to pay the $700/month car payment he needed to pay back in the U.S.
He encouraged Metallica to speak with her parents and let them know the big news that the couple intended to stay for good and take over the family business. She reluctantly revealed their plans to her parental units, who seemed thrilled to have their favorite high strung daughter back in town. Over a plate of……banana chips, they continued to talk about the move with James pressuring Metallica to try and negotiate his wages. 
HakunaMatata suddenly became very emotional, letting out a horrible cry, as she apologized to her rather calm parents for being a burden on their lives. Her father suggested she might feel better if she cried on the floor while kissing her mother’s feet and begged for forgiveness, which only further confused poor James, who more than likely had some really interesting breath, between all of the bananas and grated cheese….

Sean & Me (……ok, fine. Joanne.):

I almost wasn’t able to recap this portion of the show, as recapping was conflicting with booking my flight to Ireland to meet Sean (Don’t tell Mr. Shmerica….)
Sean has a crush on one of my Long Island neighbors, as he claims to have a “cawfee” and “Fuggetaboutit” fetish (aka He likes a New Yawk accent). He was perusing the internet one day with his sculpted muscles, well coiffed hair, and perfect teeth, when he decided to explore the metaphysical realm. He stumbled upon Joanne, a divorced mother of two who specializes in online psychic readings. The two began speaking daily and became instantly metaphysically inseparable. Joanne booked a flight to Ireland to meet her dreamboat, which led to a whirlwind romance that ended Mine and Sean’s future before it began.

Joanne was currently preparing for her upcoming trip to Ireland, which would be a little different this go around as she was bringing her two sons so they could get to know Sean a bit better. She neglected to tell everyone in her life about her plans to Ireland, hoping no one would notice as long as she came back every month. Another thing Joanne forgot to mention was that she and Sean had actually gotten married on the sly during their first trip together (And honestly, I don’t blame her). She worried about how the important people in her life would take the big news, especially since it happened a year prior, but I’m pretty sure that everyone will come around once they see him. I mean, meet him. He’s like a real life “The Williams”. 

Corona & Ingi:

Back in the land of Ice, Ingi was mischievously awakening Corona, who was conveniently sleeping on the bed in the land of frozen tundra in her underwear. He tapped her on her exposed bottom with what appeared to be a giant baby rattle made out of paper plates in honor of “bun day” or “Bolludagur”, an Icelandic pre-Easter holiday celebrating buns of steel. The two set out in their Bolludagur finest to grab a few cream-filled buns, as Corona discussed the results of her nursing exam. Luckily she passed with flying colors, which would now allow her to apply for the IceIceBaby program (That’s what they call “Midwifery” school in Iceland). She did her best to let Ingi know all that she had given up for the sake of their relationship, and that there was really no turning back. Ingi started to understand the magnitude of Corona’s sacrifice, and became visibly uncomfortable.
Since she was in a “sharing” mood, Corona also revealed her “soft partnering” relationship technique, which was news to the Ing-meister. Though Ingi tried to make a joke out of her ridiculous antics, Corona grew more intense, seeming to slightly scare the buns off the big guy. 

Do you think the slogan for Bolludagur is “This bun’s for you”???

Benson & Stabler (Or Dempsey & Statler….not as dynamic):

After their rocky reunion last week, Dempsey was really hoping Statler would perk up a bit at the very sight of their new van home. Statler liked her new portable palace more than she had thought, but was still apprehensive about her life overhaul. That was it. Next week it looks like the thermostat will break. Exciting stuff here…