90 Day Fiance- The Other Way; Season 6 Episode 5

Corona & Stinki Ingi:

Corona finally touched down in Iceland and was disappointed that the reunion with Ingi was as cold as the land she now called home. He flatly greeted her at the airport, though he had flowers in tow (AHEM, Still better than Coltee), as he kissed her hello like he was kissing an elderly relative with lipstick on their teeth. The awkwardness continued as the two rode off towards their new joint home, with Ingi using only one syllable words throughout their conversation. They finally arrived at Ingi’s stark white-as-the-fallen-Icelandic-snow apartment, where he conveniently had a Viking-esque vase for the airport bouquet. Corona was immediately annoyed that Ingi hadn’t given her any closet space like she had specifically instructed, as she unpacked all 25 pairs of Gene Simmons’s boots on the bottom shelf. She tried to keep the bland conversation going, though Ingi seemed cold and awkward like his surroundings. Looks like these two are off to a rough start, but will hopefully warm up like an Icelandic volcanic eruption soon (I’m ready for the “soft partnering” to end” and the real drama to begin).

Shekinah & The Sarper Image:

The perfect power couple headed off to meet up with Sarper’s cousin, Fusun, at a restaurant with a belly dancer (That Sarper may or may not have checked off in his “magic notebook”). The dinner conversation included talking about Sarper’s awkward teenage years when he was bullied for being chunky and wearing black leather jackets, which apparently is a trademark of Turkish truck drivers. He discussed his first serious high school relationship, which ended with his girlfriend cheating on him and his father’s wise advice of “Never trust women”. Shekinah felt this newly uncovered life lesson explained a lot of his behavior (Now if we can only uncover the origins of his plastic hair and bracelet tattoo….. To be continued!). She let Sarper know that some of the ladies he ran through in his quest to get over being the fat kid had been reaching out to her on social media. Shekinah felt it was important (for their storyline) to meet up with said scorned lover of the Sarper Image to try and figure out his inner workings (Which really just include notching his headboard, and counting. And counting the notches). Later on, Shekinah was petting her hair extensions as she discussed her upcoming meet up with Sarper’s old girlfriend, Nur. Sarper tried to get in front of things by telling Shekinah that all Turkish girls exaggerate culturally, but she felt the meeting was necessary.

She headed off to a Turkish cafe where Nur arrived, looking like she tried really hard to dress to impress, but forgot about frizz control. With the aid of a translator app, Nur did her best to warn Shekinah about Sarper’s lying ways, as she spoke of their brief yet intense 3 month relationship where she felt he was manipulating and controlling. Though Shekinah’s slight facial expressions (She can’t make many) suggested that she agreed with Nur’s Sarper descriptions, she was most interested in hearing if he had confessed his love. Nur claimed that she was the first out of the pair to drop the “L” bomb, but Sarper definitely reciprocated. This of course confirmed that Sarper’s pants were indeed on fire, as he had lied to Shekinah, telling her that she was the only woman he uttered the “love” word to. Looks like next week Sarper will have to recount how many women he actually loved before…good thing he’s such a good counter.

James & Metallica:

Metata was back in Indonesia with her parents, busy making banana chips since business was booming. Her mother cried, wishing her daughter could stay forever (not because she missed her, but because she was getting too old to continue banana chipping alone). Metallica wanted to wait until James’s arrival to let her parents know that the two were planning to stay in the country permanently, and more specifically- in their house. Mother and Father Metallica made it clear that they expected their daughter to have little banana chipettes of her own, as they needed new workers on the chip plantation. This of course this led into the whole “James might not want kids” topic from last week, which I expect to be resolved after approximately 2-3 of Metata’s crying fits. Next we saw James finishing up the last legs of his journey to start his new life in Indonesia. Metallica and her sister, Dicee, went via motorcycle to meet him at the train station, where the couple reunited after a month’s time. They kissed and cried as they used baby voices to try and decipher who in fact missed the other more, before getting bored and deciding to head to their new home. Looks like next week James will get to see his new bedroom, which looked very similar to Kimberly from last season’s accommodations (The annoying American girl who moved to India with the primal scream). Looking so mach forward to that, though hoping James keeps the screaming to a minimum.

Josh & Lily:

Back in China, Lily was taking Josh to her spa to get his ears detailed (I guess the technical term is “ear massage”, but the camera decided to show a lot of goo-removal. I’m assuming this will only enhance the annoying chewing sounds). Lily partook in a head massage to help her feel more relaxed than ever, as she translated for the ear massage technicians so they could communicate with Josh. Once in their newly relaxed states, the couple discussed their upcoming Chinese wedding, with Josh explaining his financial woes and Lily acting like a robot that wants to buy him and chain him up in a basement while smiling. I’m guessing this is going to be how the rest of this horror movie plays out….