Happily Ever After; Season 8 Episode 19

Angela & Mykol:

Back in Hazlehurst, Meemaw gave Papa Mykol a quick rundown on how to do the household laundry as she expected him to help out. Mykol seemed shocked by the mountain of dirty clothes the grids had accumulated, but agreed to try his best. His crash course in laundry 101 included sorting lights and darks, as well as how to remove stubborn Kool Aid stains. Next thing ya know, it was finally time for a Meemaw Family Christmas. Angela was so thrilled to finally be spending Christmas together under one roof, as she and Mykol ceremoniously decorated the tree with their own “King” and “Queen” crown ornaments. They then sat down to a festive meal of tin foil trayed Southern delicacies. Mykol learned his lesson last time at the restaurant not to spit food out under any circumstances and agreed to be more open minded about tasting new things. He put on his big kid pants and tasted “hog”, as well as biscuits and mac n cheese. The grids inquired as to what a Nigerian Christmas was like, and wretched hearing about all of the foods that they would shamelessly spit out onto any wall anywhere if they were forced to try. Skyla chimed in, wondering why Mykol hadn’t been taking many photos since coming to the US, only to find out that his phone was currently incapacitated. Of course she turned to Angela, who admitted that she may have accidentally smashed his phone in Nigeria, due to extenuating circumstances. Once all of the holiday foil trays were collected and the Mother/Daughter duo were alone, Skyla confronted Angela about breaking her new Stepfather’s phone. Angela came clean about the “Paradise Men” incident, sparking her phone-smash Hulk incident, which was all Skyla needed to hear to suggest hiring a private investigator. The two set out the next day to meet with their chosen P.I. at Hazelhurts’s own “Ming Palace” all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet so they could get to the bottom of the situation. The detective first asked Angela why she had thought to hire a detective, being that the couple had been together for 7 years. He listened intensely as she described the whole “Paradise Men” group membership, amongst all of his other shady dealings. Skyla was shocked to hear Ang mention there was yet another woman Mykal had been talking to, aptly named “Cheetah”, who he was trying to help get a Visa (Ya know, because he’s the admin of Paradise Men). She also mentioned Mykol’s search history showing that he was looking up life insurance policies, which seemed to alarm everyone. All I know is, if this Private Investigator can’t get to the bottom of this, I hope the answer was in the fortune cookie at the end of the meeting.

Rob the Knob & Dollar Store Daenerys Targaryen:

After his altercation with Kaye last week, Rob took off, which was part of his grand plan. Sophie called him, begging him to come back and discuss things calmly. He drove back to the apartment where Kaye fled the scene so the two could talk. Sophie was confused as to how Rob could be breaking up with her, when she felt she should be the one to break up with him. She continued to try reverse psychology while wearing her bucket hat, until Rob eventually walked out the door. She cried to Kaye, who claimed to be the man Sophie needed, but she decided to run out the door after the real Knob. They say that breaking up is hard to do, but is it really after 19 episodes?!

Emily & Kobe:

After last week’s pregnancy reveal, Emily and Kobe sat down with the parental units to discuss the future of their basement dwelling. Though the Parents Emily were happy about another member joining the brood, they wanted the addition to be in the couple’s own house. Emily complained that she hadn’t yet found her dream home, but had taken all of the preliminary steps, and wanted an A for effort. She got mad at her mom and “thad” and made a passive aggressive speech/ temper tantrum before pouting in the house. Kobe tried to man-up, promising to make sure the couple were out on their own before becoming a party of 5. Parents are tho mean thombtimes.

Patrick & Thighs:

It was finally time for Aleesi’s big party, as Pat N’ Thighs arrived at the elaborate venue. The friends and family all came to enjoy the array of pink with all of the many food and drink options. Father JoeSay (Who was probably busy stealing all of the condiment packets from the buffet, check that man’s pockets) confronted Patrick on his decision not to use his broken down ranch, which led to a bigger conversation. Patrick finally let his father know how difficult life had been in his absence, and how he wanted a relationship, despite the restrictions from Thighs. Pattycakes broke down crying as they discussed the possibility of getting out of the pointless apartment lease while keeping a father/son contract. The rest of the party seemed to go well, with Brother John getting the proper recognition for his role in making everyone lighten up and have a bettah time. Cheeyuhs! And happy 25th birthday, baby Aleesi! Sorry you had to wait so long for this party!

Gino & Jasmania:

As Jasmine sat, still donning her participation crown, she confronted Gino over whether or not he had submitted her immigration paperwork. Gino hesitated, which only increased the pageant queen’s anger, and he finally answered her that it was “20% done” (Which was very “90 Day” of him… we love percentages). At this point it seemed like Gino was less than 55% attracted to his least favorite Latina, as Jasmine’s anger began to bubble and fizz. The fighting ensued and worsened, as Gino tried to stand his ground against Jasmine’s demands. He felt that their relationship was in a bad place, and wasn’t sure if he wanted to complete the final documents. Eventually Jasmine made fun of his porn addiction before heading downstairs to get a second hotel room on Gino’s credit card. Gino should just remember that her predecessor Larissa once said “He who is against the Queen will die” (since Jasmine is wearing a crown and all)

Ashley & Manuel:

This week began with Ashley confronting Manuel in front of all of their party guests, asking where all of the dinero she had given him went. He drunkenly admitted that he was using the money to pay off his own debts in Ecuador, while blaming Ashley for having massive student loan debt for her witch doctor PhD. Ashley and her mother kicked the birthday boy out of his own party, while Ashley unleashed her drama on everyone at the table. She eventually went outside to try and talk things over with the drunken toad, who admitted that the things he was spending her money on were more important than coffee and fancy crystals. Ashley felt that there would be no wise decisions made at this level of intoxication, and agreed to table the dinero discussion for the morning. (I can fill her in….he spent it all on hair grease)

Loren & Alexei:

Alexei organized a get-together with Loren’s friends in hopes they would tell her she looked great and make her rethink another surgery. The Friends Loren all agreed with Alexei that Loren looked fine and didn’t need to get all Darcey and Stacey. They suggested she should start therapy for her body dysmorphia, and that the only bandages she should need would be Alexei (The human bandaid, because he’s all beige). The End.