Happily Ever After; Season 8 Episode 18

Angela & Papa Mykol:

It was Mykol’s first time seeing Hazelhurst in the daylight as Angela piled him into her sports car and “toted” him around town. Angela seemed thrilled to be starting their lives together on her home turf, but worried about Mykol’s ability to win over her daughter Skyla.
Later on she was hanging with the “Grids”, as Mykol endured his first chore of putting up Christmas lights. The kids heckled their new Papa, making fun of his crusty toes, as he scoffed at their sassy attitudes (Take a deep breath, Mykol and tell yourself “I don’t care about the kids” copyright Mother Asuelu).

Angela then took Mykol out to meet Skyla for dinner., having a hard time driving due to her “stigmas”. They met Skyla at Ang’s favorite dining establishment, where they were whisked away to their usual table (the local celebrity treatment). Mykol was skeptical about trying Southern cuisine, as he reluctantly tasted shrimp and grits. After passing “the sniff test”, he agreed to try Angela’s order of ribs next, which didn’t seem to be his favorite. He instinctively spit against the restaurant wall which triggered an aggressive Meemaw response. She was so appalled that she reenacted the situation by spitting out her own bite of rib directly at him, before cursing him out for being rude and storming away from the table. 
As Angela stress-smoked outside of the restaurant she was so concerned about desecrating, Skyla took charge of the conversation, letting Mykol know she was still unsure about his intentions. Mykol tried to convince his new skeptical stepdaughter, as Angela returned to apologize. Poor Skyla’s eyeballs are going to get a workout from rolling in the back of her head as she listens to these two go back and forth every day.

Emily & Kobe:

Now that they were back from My Big Fat Cameroonian Wedding, the couple seemed to have brought home a souvenir. They took their two kids along to the doctor to confirm Emily was in fact pregnant with baby number three. Though the kiddos seemed excited to move up in the sibling ranks, Kobe was freaking out, as he was worried to tell the Parents Emily they had another basement dweller on the way.
Since Emily was only getting bigger and moodier, they felt it was a good idea to sit down with her parents and let them know about the new addition (The one in her belly, and the one they were going to have to put on to the basement). They first plied them with wine and a charcuterie platter (a nice touch) before mentioning their lack of luck in the house-hunting department. Kobe then slipped in the big news that Emily was pregnant, followed by a promise that he’d continue to look for other housing options. The Parents Emily felt like they were now enabling their daughter, as they were going to have to trade in all of their saber tooth tiger necklaces they had acquired overseas to buy the coupl a house and finally get them out. 

Mazel tov to Emily and Kobe! They’re going to need a breast pump and sump pump if they keep the basement life up.

Patrick & Thighs:

Back on Gilligan’s Island, Brazil….
Patrick was still jealous of John and Father Carlos’s blossoming bromance. The two men sipped beers together, as BroJo busted out the Jihoon translator app so they could attempt to communicate. John did his best to put in a good word for his brother and encouraged his new bestie Carlos to give him a chance. Carlos agreed to make a go of it, joining Pattycakes in taking a little dip in the Brazilian lake (Not sure about that water…hopefully they were both wearing Pol’s “sheaths”…..if ya know, ya know). 

Next things ya know, the “castaways” finally made it off of the rickety pool-noodle island and headed to the hotel restaurant. Patrick asked Carlos to play a round of pool so he would finally have a chance to ask for the pointless “blessing” of his 2+ year marriage. For some reason this meant a lot to Dreamboat Carlos, who apologized for liking John better, and blessed Patrick once and for all. 
The next day Patrick left BroJo and Thighs alone to talk, though they still obviously couldn’t stand each other. Ultimately they both decided to be on their best behavior for the sake of Patrick and baby Aleesi, whose party they finally started talking about again on episode 18. I guess that’s happening after all! Happy 25th birthday, baby Aleesi!

Jasmania & GeeKnow:

Back at the “Miss Dollar Tree” pageant…
Jasmine was getting ready for the evening gown competition, as she stopped to make a quick video for her familia. After all of the beauties took their turn strutting their stuff, they were called back to the stage for judging. It seems like all of the contestants were given their own superlatives, making each and every one a winner of SOMETHING at the La Quinta (Where everyone’s a winner anyway). Unfortunately Jasmine didn’t place first in the official “Best in Show” category, but she still claimed to feel blessed, even though she knew she was cursed with the task of returning to Michigan. 

After the show commenced, Gino slunk on to the stage for a photo with “Miss Greatest Latina in Conference Room A” before the two left to discuss their latest issues. Jasmine yelled at Gino as yet another screaming match took place, ending with her leaving the hotel room while still crowned, and him tossing her pageant bouquet at the wall. Check off “crying in a crown” from your bingo card, please and come collect your prize. Your prize is an electric toothbrush that has already been thrown in the dirt.

Rob the Knob & Dollar Store Daenerys Targaryen:

Rob was still waiting with his droopy puppy eyes on the apartment steps, as Sophie finally made an appearance. He began to read his “Dear Sophie” letter, finally breaking things off, as Sophie immediately retreated to Kaye’s apartment. Rob tried to continue talking to her, which only summoned Kaye, who’s temper was as red as her Hot Topic hair. She and Rob hurled insults at each other before he eventually got mad enough to leave, only to continue pouting in his car.
Previews for next week show Sophie attempting to save her pointless non relationship, in the rain, which is very bad news or synthetic clip-in ponytails.  

Loren & Alexei:

Loren prepped the table for dinner as her parents were coming over. She let everyone know that her Mommy Makeover recovery was officially “categorically done and dusted”, as she now felt snatched. She did, however, feel like her boobies needed to be “more biggie”, as the fat transfer didn’t seem to go as planned. 

The Parents Loren felt she was getting “Darcey Fever”, and worried she would become catwoman, urging her to put all fat transfers aside and resume business as usual. Alexei agreed, as he didn’t feel like playing the role of human jungle gym to three kids yet again, while Loren sat blinking, knowing full well she would most likely go through with the procedure despite their oppositions. 
He’s still all Beige.

Ashley & Manuel:

Apparently the two had made up and were en route to a whiskey distillery to celebrate Manuel’s cumplianos (That’s birthday, Kenny. That was an easy one). Ashley’s sister was in attendance, and was surprised her witchy sister was able to make up with Manuel. She personally remained skeptical about his intentions, and made sure to tell all of the ladies at the distillery about the couple’s marital issues. Mother Ashley could not believe her daughter was giving her new husband so much money to send back to his Ecuadorian wife, especially since she didn’t have any access to his accounts. 

Ashley and Manuel joined the others and tried to explain their sides of the story. As the whiskey tasting began to hit, Ashley slurred in her best Espanol an explanation as to why she was giving so much dinero to Manuel without having access to his accounts. Feeling stressed out, she took to rubbing her third eye, which was going to need a bit of Visine after this one. Looks like next week there is another screaming fight between the two (Well, Ashley screams, and Manuel watches a soccer game on his phone while he’s taking a walk. Pretty sure that’s how these two roll…)