Love in Paradise; Season 4 Episode 8

Shawn & Dougilliyah:

Back in Brazil… Dougilliyah was bringing her pal Jackie along for a greuling 8 hour hair braiding session to get new horrible extensions. As the salon workers feverishly braided away, she went into detail about her relationship with Shawn. Alliyah admitted that during this recent visit, she and her Burger King hadn’t been intimate, which she attributed to their open relationship status. 
She explained that the openness was news to her, as Shawn announced it on one of their visits. Alliyah felt scared to talk to Shawn about her need for monogamy, as the last time she tried, she was immediately shut down.

Later that night, Alliyah sat down with Shawn and alllllll 45 pounds of her hair to discuss their relationship moving forward. She brought up their lack of intimacy, and the possibility of switching over to monogamy, since they were now fiances. Shawn tried to avoid the topic, explaining that he needed “physical touch” in Aliayh’s absence, and left the conversation open-ended, much like the open-relationship status. 
I don’t trust him, because no hairstylist could let their partner walk around with hair like that. 

 

 

Luke & Madeleine:

Continuing from last week, Madeleine was still annoyed with Luke for wanting a prenup. They were joined on their vacay by Entrepreneur Brian and his wife, as the four took a trip to an inflatable water park. They all seemed to be getting along, until Brian decided to bring up the nasty rumor he had heard about Madeleine letting another guy sleep over in her apartment while she was topless. Madelein (Always putting the wrong emPHAsis on the wrong sylABle) admitted that she did have a sleepover, but was fully clothed the whole time. Luke freaked out, feeling deeply betrayed, and announced he was Mother Debbie Done.

After he calmed down a bit, Luke tried talking to Madelein about her indiscretions and was unhappy that she seemed to show no remorse. He tried to direct her to beg for his forgiveness, while she claimed she “dOOs Nut NEED to uPhulugize if Yoo Nu trust”. 

Luke stomped off once again, after his “stern parenting” tactic failed. They’d better make up, because I’m dying to see their wedding….Especially her wedding nails.

 

 

Kyle & Ani:

Back on the poor isle of Malta…
Kyle awoke and began his daily sperm supplement regimen, as he told the cameras of his night of passion with Ani. Unlike most intimate encounters, this one was different. Despite Ani’s rules last week of no “sperm donation”, the two began to make out, which led to Kyle randomly taking his shorts off and revealing his extra long extension cord. He claimed that Ani was loud with enjoyment, as the two broke her rule, and of course did not use protection. 

Ani was shown heading to a market, where she made a stop by the “family planning” section to pick up an ovulation test. Luckily she failed ovulation 101, but wanted Kyle to grab her the morning after pill just in case. Kyle resisted at first, feeling like that was not the job of a sperm donor and didn’t want to get caught making the purchase and risk losing his street cred. He eventually agreed, but later showed up to her house empty handed. Ani was annoyed that Kyle didn’t respect her enough to bring the anti-baby making pills, though Kyle claimed it was only because he was so familiar with her menstrual cycle, and had deducted that her fertilewindow was closed for business this month (he also mentioned that she was “an older woman”, because Kyle knows how to score points with the ladies). 

At the very least, it sounds like Ani landed herself a man who would possibly know when it’s time to pick up her favorite brand of tampons.

 

Alex & Adriano:

Alex and Adriano got into a fight about threesomes before meeting up with his friend, Guitano on the beach for….. A threesome. A conversational threesome.
They bypassed discussing any difficult topics and moved on to Italian food. The threesome was then ruined by Tiffany’s cousin, making it a less desirable foursome. 
Once alone on the beach, drinking vino and enjoying each other’s sexiness, Adriano couldn’t help himself. He had to bring up the most important and only part of his personality; Threesome. And if you say the word “threesome” three times, Adriano appears in your living room, talking about threesomes.