Love In Paradise; S4 EP 3

Luke & Madeleine:

The couple were on their drive back from the airport when Madeleine made a pit stop at her very own salon, perfectly named “Made Beuaty” (She’s an advanced speller for her age). Luke invested about $10,000 into the misspelled beauty empire which is a bit of a case in point of his recent failed financial situation. Inside the highly decorated walls of the salon Madeleine claimed that she did all of “beuaty” treatments herself, as they showed her digging her acrylic talons through someone’s crusty highlights. 
Seeing that he could no longer fund her Beuaty empire, Luke decided to finally come clean about losing his job. Though she served up about 15 consecutive eyerolls, Madeleine claimed she would do everything she could to help pay the bills (Hopefully she can win a Rubick’s Cube tournament or breed special needs pomeranians or something…. )

The two went back to the apartment where Madeleine surprised her beloved in a skimpy Shein lingerie set and Claire’s tiara for their long anticipated “sexy time”. They each confessed their compatibility in the bedroom department, as they locked the poor inbred pooch out of sight (which wouldn’t have mattered anyway, I’m pretty sure it can’t see). 

 

 

Kyle & Ani:

Speaking of sperm….
The morning after their disastrous first date, Ani waited for Kyle at a local cafe. The sperminator arrived sporting a flesh toned t-shirt and red shorts, ready for a fun-filled day of sight seeing. As the two set off in an open-aired vehicle, Ani couldn’t help but notice Kyle’s affinity for playing with his twig and berries. Of course this otherwise lewd act was merely a display of his professionalism, as he felt the need to shift himself constantly to optimize his sample. |
They stopped by a romantic seaside cliff where Ani for some reason felt the need to brush her hair. Kyle volunteered to help, making sure to be extra cringey as he brushed super slowly, making sexual innuendos all the while. Since they were getting a bit closer, Ani took the opportunity to ask Kyle about some of his recent travels to Australia, inquiring whether or not he had any “in-person” sperm donations. He tried avoiding her direct line of questioning, claiming amnesia before finally coming clean that he did indeed go “down under”. For some reason Ani had to explain that this type of sperm-transfer was frowned upon when in a committed relationship, as it was otherwise considered to be “sleeping with strangers”. 
I’m going to have to say that if Ani doesn’t jump ship by now, it’s her fault.

 

 

Alex & Adriano:

Alex was nervous and excited to see Adriano again after 4 months, but hoping her hunky Italian  could avoid the threesome topic (Which we know he’s not going to do, as it’s what makes him entertaining. His dimples are only getting him so far). Alex arrived at the train station to an excited Adriano, who wrapped his arms around her for a romantic welcome. 

They went back to their hotel to get changed before heading out for a shmancy Italian dinner. Of course Adriano couldn’t wait to bring up a threesome, which at this point, he should just tell Alex is part of his plan to donate sperm (Hey, it works for some people!).

Adriano discussed for the first time his excitement about moving to Australia, which was something Alex didn’t seem to want to do. She felt that their relationship had been rocky, as they had broken up twice before, and feared that once in Kangaroo town Adriano would find a fellow three-some enthusiast and kick her to the curb. Alex worried about the future of her relationship, since she didn’t share the same values, sexual interests, or geographical location as her beloved. Never-the-less, the two managed to put all of their issues aside to get it on in the hotel room (She’d better make sure he isn’t hiding an extra under the bed). 

 

Shawn & Dougilyah:

It was the couple’s first day together in Brazil and they set out for a little walk that included a pineapple drink that looked absolutely delicious. Though Shawn claimed to be unsure of his new relationship with Alliyah, he wasted no time taking her on a shopping spree. Shawn felt like their relationship was assuming a bit more traditional roles, as he wound up waiting on the “husband” bench in the fitting room, holding Alliyah’s purse as she did the Alliyah fashion show. 

Alliyah tried on everything from spandex evening gowns to pleather, and Brazilian Daisy Dukes fit for twerking (Tell Chantel!!). Though Shawn admired the twerk-a-thon, he felt disconnected from the original Douglas he knew and loved and worried if he could have the same shy and demure partner he once had. 

Though he seemed to be smirking and encouraging Dougliyah’s every whim…..I’m confused.