The Single Life; Season 4 Episode 11

Chantel:

Still bitter about the snail festival fiasco, Chantel reluctantly decided to give her Greecian guy, Giannis, one last chance. Her entourage did their best Cinderella-mice duties of prepping her makeup and hair and getting her into yet another spandex dress, as she set out into the unknown. Giannis once again did not give her many details about their date, only an address and a start time (I’m kind of hoping they go “Escar-go-carting” or maybe hiking down a snail trail….. Who knew the Greek loved snails?!?)
Her chariot finally arrived at a soccer field where Giannis was waiting to show off his talents. Though she seemed a bit bothered by the lack of communication on appropriate footwear, Chantel went with the flow. In between watching Giannis kick soccer balls, the two slurped faces. Chantel interrupted the soccer makeout session to ask Giannis where they stood, as she was leaving the next day to head home. He was hoping they could try out long distance, taking turns to visit each other (But we all know Mother Chantel will make the final call on this one). As the date came to a close, they slurped “goodbye” as Chantel rode off into the night, purple eyeshadow and overdrawn eyeliner melted into her tears.

The next morning Chantel and her gang loaded into the car to head off to the airport. But before they could shut the van doors, Prince Giannis showed up, surprising Chantel with a bouquet of roses in the romantic twist that no one saw coming. She quickly jumped out of her ride for one last kiss as the entourage cackled from the back seat, wearing matching print outfits.
Chantel felt more confident about their long distance working out, and was hoping this would be the beginning of her new fairytale. (I’m just hoping that Giannis plans to visit during Thanksgiving…..so he can meet Brother River…and soccer-kick him over the table. It’s tradition). 

Nutalie:

Picking up from last week, Natalie, Big Mike and Mama-nutty rode off in Natalie’s tiny clown car. They dropped Mama off at the hotel so they could have some time to speak privately. Natalie reflected on all of the happy memories with the Big guy (conveniently forgetting about all of her mental breakdowns in “zee voods” of Squim), as they sat down to talk.

Natalie bluntly asked Mike if he might want to give it another go and come back together for the sake of procreating. Unfortunately for Natalie’s future offspring, Big Mike was not interested in fathering a bunch of bulgy eyed babies. He refused to be Natalie’s backup plan, claiming that she had up and left him years ago to pursue her dreams of becoming a famous actress (Or at least someone you can hire to come read Shakespeare in Russian for your dinner parties). Mike went on to add that he was also going to finally take steps to finalize their long overdue divorce (As Mother Butter cheered “That’s muh boy!” from three states over). Natalie seemed shocked, and refused to believe Mike would possibly be able to resist her feminine wiles, refusing to agree to a legal divorce. Looks like she might have to go to the next backup plan for making her dream child happen: Tyray. He’s been looking for true love’s first kiss and does not seem too picky. 

Miss Debbie:

As Debbie packed her glamorous bags to head back to Georgia, she decided to take the opportunity to reprimand her youngen. Debbie was upset that Julian had let Ruben the Cuban in on her whole “Osama” situation. Officer Julian maintained that he was just trying to protect his mom, as he clearly worried about her choices lately. Debbie seemed to soften, forgiving her son’s off-the-clock policing, and the two came to an understanding. She then told Julian to get lost, as she had accepted a ride from Ruben the Cuban to the airport, so the two could have a few more multi-colored moments together (And who doesn’t want to show up to the airport in a life-sized Hot Wheels car?!)

Ruben picked Debbie up at the La Quinta in yet another one of his iconic outfits, but this time traveling in a real car. As the two drove towards Miami International, Debbie hoped this wouldn’t be the end of her time with Mr. “The Cuban”. They had a romantic goodbye in the airport, sealed with a colorful kiss, as they promised to meet up again on Debbie’s home turf. Here’s to hoping the next visit goes well and that Atlanta has enough mojitos to make Ruben feel at home. 

I absolutely can not wait for this Tell All, as it looks like some past cast member make a guest appearance to stir up trouble!