The Single Life; Season 4 Episode 8:

Chantel:

Chantel was back at it this week, discussing her “salty” sea-side kisses with Giannis, the Greek God of feta. She took her crew along to meet with Giannis and Co. at a local festival, which she later found out was dedicated to the delicacy of snails. Chantel cringed at the thought of consuming a snail (Probably having flashbacks to the Mother Pedro chicken feet incident many moons ago), but reluctantly agreed to take one bite……but only if Giannis fed it to her in a sexy way (because Chantel is in her “seduction era”). She was sincerely hoping her exercise in bravery would be a turn on for her latest love interest, and was instantly soured when he wasn’t giving her his undivided attention. Giannis spent his time at the snail festival giggling with his buddies and checking his phone, instead of soaking up his fleeting moments with Chantel and her snail breath. Chantel’s friend Destinee felt that Giannis was not giving any effort, and may actually be a giant slime ball…..probably from eating so many snails. 

 

Nutalie:

This week picked up with Natalie blowing a cold wind as she walked up to Jush at the restaurant. She let him know about her disappointment when it came to the pace of their relationship, and how his actions haven’t aligned with his “verds” (That’s “words”, Kenny, and it’s actually just English with her accent. Why am I translating this for you?!) Jush admitted he couldn’t give Natalie what she wanted (like an invite to his house, let alone marriage and a baby), and she finally started to take the hint. Natalie made it clear that she was ending things because she deserved to be loved, and not just feared. Jush felt that he had given her all he had to give (Like co-signing her car lease and the chance to recite Shakespeare at a dinner party), but had nothing else left. The two agreed to part ways, ending their meet up with a hug. Natalie realized she might just be meant to be alone (Which generally is right before she heads back to Squim to rekindle things with Big Mike). Previews for next week show Nutalie and her mom checking out a fertility clinic to look into options for creating her own spawn. (Has anyone tried throwing water on her like in Gremlins?? I’m thinking she may be able to multiply all on her own). 

 

Brother John:

After the disastrous dinner date with Patrick and Thais last week, John was worried that Meghan would be questioning their relationship. Feeling the tension, he suggested they hit up a  “bah” to grab a drink and take the edge off. John let Meagan know that he wanted to be tugetha, and was even willing to change his mind on the baby topic. She tried to give the ultimate bachelor an ultimatum about moving, as she didn’t want to continue on long distance for much longer. John felt pressured and nervous about making the move (Especially when he’d be giving up a free spare bedroom and cardboard box furniture… that’s a lot to leave behind).

Unfortunately It was time for Meagan’s disastrous Vegas trip to come to an end. As they drove to the airport, ending on a rather sour note, she tried to encourage John to think about what he really wants (They should have just shown a thought bubble over his head of the giant “bag of tricks”, Meagan in lingerie, and the Red Sox winning the World Series). 
As they drove on, things went from bad to worse, as John’s car started to smoke, signaling a major problem (Though he’s no mechanic, he does sound a lot like Click and Clack from NPR’s “Cah Talk”, if you know, you know).

Previews for next week suggest they’ll be dragging this “John vs. Meagan’s Ultimatum” storyline out for at least another episode or two. I think this whole thing would be far more entertaining if they only let him say words that ended in “er”.

 

Tim and/or Veronica?!:

After the awkward double date with Tim and Luisa, Veronica and Jamal were driving home and discussing the night’s events. Jamal would not drop the fact that Veronica seems very codependent with Tim. He was weirded out by her need to take care of him, and even put off by the fact that she seemed to be helping Luisa navigate the weird windy road of dating Tim. Veronica tried to explain that it was just her helpful nature at play, and nothing more .

Jamal continued to instigate a fight, smugly suggesting that Veronica acted like Tim’s “handler”, not understanding the unorthodox ex dynamic they shared. Veronica seemed to have had enough of Jamal’s questioning and smirking, as she struggled to remove her microphone wire before plodding up the stairs and telling him to kiss off. 
Tim and Veronica’s weird relationship makes more sense than Jamal and Veronica’s. Where is this going?! Why is it still a thing?  

 

 

Miss Debbie:

The romantic date night continued for Miss Debbie and her current suitor, Ruben the Cuban. They coasted through the Miami streets in his open-aired three wheeled Polaris, until finally arriving at Casa de Ruben. Since Ruben is a caretaker for his elderly parents, bringing Debbie home meant a family affair. Debbie seemed to impress Father Ruben, as he looked up from his pay per view boxing match for 30 seconds to give a nice “hola”. Mother Ruben, unfortunately was not well, as Ruben explained he had decided to dedicate his life to helping her as much as he can. 

Of course this topic led to the two discussing Debbie being open to moving to the 305, should things get more serious between them. Debbie (who was previously ready to pick up and move to Morroco for her 24 year old human can opener) was unsure if she was ready to make that kind of commitment after 2 dates, but wanted to see where their colorful path would take them. 

Previews for next week show a brave Ruben the Cuban meeting up with Julian the Hooligan to discuss his criminal past and future with Miss Debbie. (I’m now just watching for Ruben’s outfits)