The Single Life; Season 4 Episode 7:

Miss Debbie:

 Debbie met up with her son Julian by the pool of their budget inn to go over her latest date. Though she was excited about her own version of Rico Suave, Julian was still skeptical and wanted to know more about this mystery man. Debbie didn’t really have too much time to discuss things though, as Ruben the Cuban called to let her know he was out front to pick her up for date number 2. 

Ruben rolled up in front of the La Quinta in style in his Polaris 3 wheeled adult Power Wheels. Debbie was blown away by the fancy ride, as well as his technicolor dream hat. The two sped off as Julian popped out from behind the lobby curtains to take pictures of the license plate and tags (Which I’m sure were vanity plates that read “RBNDCUBN”

They carried out the “Cubano” theme by hitting up a restaurant called “Versaille” for some more Cuban cuisine. Debbie let Ruben know that her pesky policeman son had tagged along for the trip and wanted to meet him to make sure she was in good hands. Though he was slightly intimidated, Ruben agreed to meet Julian (He’s obviously a bold man, as noted by his splatter painted plaid and floral shirt). I’m guessing next week they’ll be smoking cigars, as that’s the last stereotypical Cuban thing they haven’t yet touched on.

Nutalie:

It was Natalooshka and Mommy Dearest’s first time celebrating Halloween in the US and EVER, as Halloween isn’t a thing in the Ukraine. In honor of this momentous occasion, the mother/daughter duo headed off to a haunted festival of sorts to take in all of the sights and spooky sounds of the season. Despite never participating in Halloween, Mother Natalie looked dressed to scare, as she made sure to passive-aggressively mention that the outing would have been even better if Natalie would have had children of her own to bring along. Although her comment struck a nerve, Natalie was more fixated on the fact that Jush wasn’t there, and instead opted to spend time with his kids in Arizona. She felt she should have been invited to meet his kids, since the two were kinda-sorta-dating-ish, but Josh put the kibosh on that one. Mother Natalie felt that Jush wasn’t too serious and was wasting her daughter’s “egg toting” years, and that she should move on with a nice man who will marry her…. Like Big Mike of Squim fame. Though things clearly didn’t work out with Natalie and the Pacific Northwestern Yeti, she still smirked at the idea of raising an oversized brood and making her mother proud. 

Later on, Jush had just flown back into town and made an appearance. After reflecting upon his recent conversation with his coworkers about his weird relationship, he decided to meet with Natalie in a public place (Wise move) to discuss their future. As Jush sat anxiously awaiting her arrival at the swanky locale, Natalie finally appeared, dramatically performing her runway “stomp” walk up towards the patio seating. Of course the episode cut out anything of interest, but previews for next week suggest Natalie might be on the verge of boiling a bunny or two. 

Tyray:

Tyray was in the Big Easy, getting a little pep talk from his brothers before his big first date. He arrived at the meet location, drenched in sweat, where he was joined by his date, Theresa, and an annoyingly enthusiastic ghost tour guide. 

As they walked around the sweaty city, the tour guide told them tales of each location, all while gesturing wildly, channeling his inner dungeon and/or dragon. Tyray was feeling a bit self conscious due to the fact that his shirt was reminiscent of the local swamps, drenched in moisture. Theresa in her short-shorts seemed to be going with the flow, humoring Tyray with her participation.

After the tour, they headed into an air conditioned restaurant so they could sit and talk. Theresa revealed that she wasn’t really looking for anything serious, or long distance, or swampy, but she felt like she would stay in touch with the loveable soupy teddy bear…. (But no touching, because..swampy). Tyray tried to roll with the punches, feeling like he had at least survived his first date with a willing participant who actually showed up. Here’s to hoping his next date is fully indoors, climate controlled, and his wardrobe material has excellent wicking capabilities. 

Brother John:

A week after his San Antonio trip, John was already heading to the airport to retrieve Meghan, who he claims he’s fallen pretty “hahd” for. This trip was a big deal for Meghan for a few reasons; She had claimed it was her first time on a plane, her first time leaving Texas, and her first time meeting John’s family. John brought her back to his most recent squatter pad, where she got to fully appreciate his decorating style- “Nomadic-Chic”. Meghan was instantly concerned that all of John’s belongings were either in “cah”board boxes or suitcases, and instantly wanted to have a Marie Condo intervention. John tried to convince her that his transient bedroom was a non-issue, as he whisked her onto the bed (and probably opened up his cardboard box full of surprises). 

After the home tour, it was time for the couple to meet up with Patrick and Thais for a double date. The couples (plus Patrick and Thais’s baby Aleesi) convened at an Irish pub of sorts, where Meghan immediately went crazy over the tiny human (And I’m talking about the baby, Kenny…Not just Patrick’s tiny head). She claimed to really miss the tiny-baby stage, since her daughter was now 4 years old (And yes, Kenny, you are correct that she had previously mentioned that she had been single for 7 years. That math isn’t mathing). 

Patrick wasted no time putting John on front street about playing the “stepfather” role, with Thais adding that John is a giant man-child. Pat also revealed that John had previously expressed his disinterest in fathering any children, which seemed to catch Meghan off guard. John did his best to deflect the brutal blows his family were throwing his way, without much luck. Meghan apparently hadn’t let John know that she had always wanted to have another baby, which was a big NO in his book. (First he has to learn how to say the word “Fah-thuh”). Hopefully John will be able to be that second child Meghan is looking to have.

Tim and/or Veronica?!:

After the uncomfortable double date (Where Veronica had to order Tim’s steak for him, reminding the waiter to cut it on the bias…) Tim and Luisa took a little walk in the moonlight near the water. For some bizarre reason (and possibly just to be on tv, which I wouldn’t even be mad about), Luisa seemed to really like Tim and green-lit him for their first kiss. Tim awkwardly tried to thwart Luisa’s kissing advances, in fear of bad breath and public humiliation.  After a little coaxing, he eventually gave in, as the two made slurping noises for a visual cringe-fest. Though he did in fact reek of medium-well steak, Luisa seemed to really like Timiny Cricket, and was hoping to take things to the next level…(Who could resist that come-hither eye-liner/knee high boot combination?!)