The Single Life; Season 4, Episode 5

Chantel:

The squad were thirsty for some Chantel tea as they waited for her to twirl her way into the kitchen of their AirBNB to discuss the details of her date. Chantel described her evening (Which consisted of approximately two sentences and a walk by a canal), and how she was the one to make the first move to hold hands. Her twerking instructor, “Moody”, listened with intensity while making breakfast, as his palm tree hair bobbed up and down. Unfortunately the date night lacked any juicy details, primarily because Chantel claimed she wanted to move at a slower pace due to the fact that she wasn’t yet over Pedro, who had used her to harvest the American Dollar.

Later on the whole crew got dressed to head to the beach to meet up with Giannis and his motley crew. Chantel and her giant appendages strutted around in a one piece swimsuit with that newly acquired “smolder” look that she thinks is seductive. She once again tried her hand at small talk as she attempted to befriend Gianni’s soccer pals, though the conversation was as titillating as it had been on her date. Luckily Giannis also had the personality of a block of feta, so he still seemed to be interested.The two finally shared their first kiss in the sea, while the twerk instructor rejoiced with sea-twerks, sprinkling them in celebration.

 

 

Veronica & Tim?!

Back at the lamest fight of all time…
Tim and Jamal were pulled apart before the fighting escalated to limp wrist slapping and forehead flicking. Timoney Cricket was most mad that Jamal tried talking about his “parenting” style with Veronica’s daughter, Chloe, which he felt was out of bounds. Tim felt Veronica should really rethink being with someone who could fly off the handle in such an immature way. Veronica, however, blamed Tim for being aggressive towards Jamal, as she stormed off, probably questioning every decision in her life she had ever made that got her to this ridiculous point in time. 

 

 

Natalie:

It appears that L.A. agrees with Natalie, as she seems to be moving on up in the world. As a little gift for a good report card, Josh gave Natalie a car, which of course thrilled her to no end. She set off to meet up with Josh’s cousin who owned a Chiropractor office in hopes of becoming his newest receptionist. As Cousin Josh began the interview, he admitted he had met Natalie once before in a group setting with his cousin and felt she was a bit…. odd. The feeling continued as he conducted the interview, only to find that her resume was in Ukrainian, she had never answered telephones before, and she hates chiropractors. As cousin Josh attempted to politely work around these stipulations for the sake of the interview, Natalie cut him off by asking about Josh and his ex-girlfriend. Clearly it was a slam dunk, and she’ll be up for “employee of the month” in no time.

Later on at the house, Natalie and her equally crazy-eyed mother were setting up their tiny apartment for a little dinner soiree. Jush was bringing over his friend who happened to be a movie producer and his girlfriend for a little taste of Eastern Europe (Cue the meat jello!). Natalie and her mother rushed to arrange the hor d’oeuvres (shrimp cocktails that were a nod back to the infamous scene in Beetlejuice), as the guests arrived. They ushered them into the apartment and over to the dining area, which was conveniently located next to the bed and closet (Perfect for any mother to live in *cough* Clayton *cough*).  Natalie felt like this dinner could be her big break, as she strived to impress the producer friend by reciting a little Shakespeare….. In Ukrainian. Everyone watched awkwardly while Natalie took on her famous crazy-eyed stare, possibly embodying one of the witches from Macbeth, but who knows, because…Ukrainian. The producer friend seemed fairly impressed, feeling like Natalie may be a perfect fit for one of his upcoming horror films. (I heard he was producing a movie about a girl in the voods who’s mother in law might have called her a “hooker”. The working title is “I Know That You Called Me A Hooker Last Summer”). While Jush was unaware that Natalie would be showcasing her talents during dinner, he claimed to be impressed (but probably because he didn’t want to be the one to end up as the meat in the jello at her next dinner party). 

 

Tyray:

I was kind of hoping Tyray had ghosted us for the rest of the season, but alas, he’s back.
Tyray and his brothers set off on a guy’s trip to New Orleans in an attempt to build up his confidence and meet some ladies. He worried that his brothers would be too pushy, encouraging him to punch his V card instead of living out his romantic Disney fantasy first kiss like he had hoped.

As the guys hit the Big Easy, they stopped to have a few hurricanes, and pick up ladies. Tyray was double-dog-dared to waltz over to a table of women and introduce himself. Tyray tried his hand at the art of pickupistry by telling the ladies about his catfish relationship with Carmella. He plucked one woman out from the group asking her to speak alone at another table. Tyray and his tattooed lady Theresa chatted away, seeming to have an easy time getting to know one another. He eventually scored her phone number and was thrilled when she agreed to go on a date. Cue the uncomfortable giggling and lack of any real connection. Next!