The Single Life; Season 4 Episode 3

Miss Debbie:

Debbie was in yet another fetching outfit as she hopped in her son Julian’s police car for a little “ride along” to the grocery store. She let her overprotective personal police officer know she had been online, on the prowl looking for another chance at love. Julian was fed up with his mother’s shenanigans, especially after all of the drama with the toothless-wonder, Osama. Debbie also divulged that she had lied about her age on her latest dating profile, and felt guilty since she had met a nice man named Russ who she planned to meet.

Later on Miss Debbie’s friend Rya with the crazy lipstick came over to help her get ready for her big date. They worked together to pick out the right show-stopping outfit that would hopefully make Russ forget all about Debbie’s age discrepancy. The first date took place at “Monster Golf”, a monster themed day-glo mini golf and arcade place that was the epitome of romance. Russ was a big fan of Debbie’s disco ball-inspired outfit, as the two putt-putted around makeshift Transylvania. When they were coming up on the end of the game, Debbie felt it was necessary to admit to Russ that she had lied about her age by 10 years. As luck would have it, Russ seemed unphased, and also understanding of Debbie’s reasoning to round down (Perhaps he was also trying to seem younger, hence the kiddie golf date).
After playing 15 holes through a maze of Osama-inspired monsters, Debbie and Russ hit up a local bar of only slightly elevated elegance, where she decided to let the oversharing begin. Debbie told Russ all about her previous journey to Morocco to meet her 24 year old fiance. Russ looked somewhat stunned to hear about the entire ordeal (Though I think he’d be more surprised if he’d seen photos).
At the end of the date, Miss Debbie suggested that the two should go out again, to which Russ agreed. It was unclear if he was really into her or just being polite, but Debbie seemed excited either way. Hopefully they can go to Chuckie Cheese next week! 

 

 

Nutalie

Natalie seemed at least a little more mentally stable this week, as Josh had come through and helped her find an apartment. He weaseled his way out of being her guarantor by offering to put more money down upfront, and just like that, Natalie and her mother had their very own pre-furnished Long Beach apartment. Mother Natalie stared creepily (I guess the stare is hereditary) as she played with some windchimes, praising Josh for their glorious new shared bedroom. But instead of endlessly thanking the elusive “Jush”, she asked Natalie if they would be able to see Big Mike (Big, crazy-eye roll)
Of course that was the last thing Nutalie wanted to hear, since she was planning for her mother to finally meet Josh over dinner that night (and forget about the Sasquatch of Sequim. 

Later on we saw Josh waiting nervously at a swanky restaurant for the ladies to arrive. Natalie waltzed in, insisting upon Josh taking her mother’s coat, as they all sat down to dine. Josh tried his best to sweet talk the looney-eyed duo, but Mama Natalie wasn’t having it. She still wouldn’t let him live down the fact that he wasn’t at the airport to serve and protect (Maybe Natalie should date Debbie’s son, Julian!) All I know is, we can see where Natalie gets her “looks” from (crazy eyes are a dominant trait).

 

 

Brother John

It was finally the week that Brother John (Of “Spahkles” fame) showed up. They went down memory lane, reminding everyone of the season where he made his debut living with Patrick and Thais. Though John prides himself on being a professional bachelor, he feels like things might be starting to change, as he recently met a girl named Megan from San Antonio who rhawks his sawks. He visited with Patrick and Thais, who heckled him about his budding relationship and the fact that the pair were “Facebook official”. 

Later on, Brother John packed his bags to get ready to visit Megan. He discussed the trip with his roommates; His other brother Matt and Matt’s husband, Cah-los (That’s “Carlos”, Kenny, but with a Bawstun accent).The two seemed concerned, as Megan has a daughter and John doesn’t exactly seem like stepfather material, given his ultimate bachelor track record.

John’s back is going to hurt wicked bad from carrying this entire season!

 

Chantel

Back in the land of feta…Chantel and the gang were twerking away the afternoon, excited about her latest prospect, Giannis. Chantel was invited by her male suitor to come to his home town, a mere 4 hours from their current resort. The group hesitated, as none of them felt like trekking away from their infinity pools and scenic view, but finally agreed, as they were committed to the cause. They all twerked In agreement as they set off on their Greecian journey to meet the least Greek-God like man they could find.

Chantel received a text from Giannis, confirming the time of their meetup, which left her with a small window of opportunity to get “snatched” (in Darcy-speak). But fear not, her loyal crew all pitched in to help with hair, makeup, and boob-tape, like the good little mice getting Chantelerella ready for the ball. 

 

Tim and/or Veronica?!

Back in North Carolina, Tim was spiking his hair to perfection as he prepared to head out for a game of croquet with his newest prospect, Luisa. The two both wore the customary white color, as they attempted to flirt their way through the game. For some unknown reason, Luisa seemed to be really into Tim, even agreeing to go on a second date. She confessed her love language was “affection”, which he immediately shot down, citing he liked to take things extremely slow. 

Though she seemed slightly put-off by Tim’s disinterest in immediate affection, Luisa was game to give him another go. (Hoping he doesn’t wear that hot pink jacket on date 2)