90 Day Fiancé; Season 10 Episode 9

Nikki Exotica & JustIgor:

After the “Meet the Parents” experience, the two set off to stay at a winery, which was filled with old world charm….aka, Mold. They settled into their room and sipped some vino, which Justin felt was making Nikki look better and better by the minute. Instead of letting things flow naturally Nikki had to yet again make everyone cringe as she continued to pressure Mr. Timberlake into sexy time. 

Apparently her tactics finally worked, as the next day the couple confirmed they had consummated their relationship for the second time. To celebrate, they met up with a chef at their hotel for a little cooking lesson where they learned to make some kind of Moldovan delicacy. The pastry-like item looked like a large, flat dough that Nikki worked hard not to poke holes in with her sharp talons. They then took turns filling the dough with a cheese-like substance (Which may be E.Colli, a harmful mold that can cause vomiting, fever, and diarrhea…..5 or more times will excuse you from everything, as per Mother Summit. This has been this week’s Moldy fun-fact). As they tasted the fruits of their Moldy labor, Nikki still complained about their lack of physical relations. Justin tried to encourage her to control her “man energy” and display more “feminine energy”, which backfired, as she started to channel “B*tch energy”. He quickly deescalated the situation with a display of the ultimate level of commitment; Changing his social media relationship status to “Engaged”. Needy Nikki was thrilled that ThemanformerlyknownasIgor was declaring his love for all of the internet to see. She happily finished her cheese pastry, feeling somewhat better about the relationship, if only for a few moments. 

Next on the agenda was a little wine-tasting, since Moldova is known for fermentation of all kinds. They met up with Rohan, the resident wine enthusiast, who had no trouble “speaking his fots” about the unlikely couple. He observed the two sipping and swirling, quietly mocking their drunken antics as he attempted to enlighten them about the wine, which absolutely no one cared about. As he droned on, Nikki licked Justin’s face, making suggestive comments towards him that would stick with poor Rohan for years….much like toxic mold, which can produce effects long after exposure. These two are basically toxic mold (Another Moldy fun-fact).

The following morning, the couple were suffering from matching hangovers, as they set out for a little breakfast. They discussed the beginning stages of their newly rekindled romance, with Nikki casually asking if Igor had been with any other women while he wasn’t being Justin. He proudly confirmed he had been faithful to “The Nikki” since proposing, giving up his previous “friends with benefits” ever since. Nikki lost her temper, upset that Justin had been giving away the goods to other women after she had filed the K1-Visa, since that had happened BEFORE he even proposed. Nikki stormed out of the breakfast spot in her pink camo leggings, vowing to be Mother Debbie Done with both Justin & Igor for good. (If she wants to get rid of him, she should try using a solution of undiluted white vinegar… it works best on most Molds).

Rob the Knob & Dollar Store Daenerys Targaryen:

Fresh from the rent-by-the-hour beach house, Rob and Sophie decided to go head out for a little bowling activity, inviting along 2 of Rob’s friends, since they had time to spare (Hold on to your bowling puns!). Apparently bowling is a popular activity in England, due to the crappy weather and need for indoor jolly good times. As they rolled on, Rob’s friends questioned Sophie’s motives for snooping through his phone, feeling like she was invading his privacy. Of course the context was only coming from Rob, who conveniently forgot to mention the whole “online cheating” portion of the situation. Sophie let his friends know that Rob had a problem getting his mind out of the gutter, and was busy showing his Knob all over the internet. This news seemed to change their minds about the situation, as they tried to pin-point what the couple should do next.
Back at Rob’s place with no toilet-bowl-o-rama….
Sophie sat in the “courtyard” to video chat with her friend from across the pond, letting her know about Rob’s online Knobbing. Though Sophie seemed glad to be living the LALA-Land dream, her friend Maya reminded her that she needs to think more seriously about going through with a wedding if things have been striking out lately. Sophie thought hard about her friend’s advice, and agonized over the thought of telling Rob about her sexuality. 

The following day, the two were supposed to go wedding ring shopping (With a cracker jack box budget), but Sophie first felt the need to let Rob in on her secret. She had a mild anxiety attack before blurting out that he was “bi”, finally letting Rob know the truth of her sexuality. The news seemed to leave the otherwise brilliant wordsmith speechless, as bisexuality might not be up his alley (Because bowling puns). 

Sam & Citronella:

We got to meet a new character this week- 30 year old Sam, who hails from Kansas. At only 30 years old, Sam has lived somewhat of a rough life, having been in jail after a drug charge. He explained his opioid addiction, which began at 15, and led to doing time behind bars (and possibly caused his Benjamin Button syndrome, since he basically looks like he’s 14). Though Sam stumbled a bit upon his release, he seems to now be sober and reluctantly working at a loading dock for an online retailer. To combat his lengthy commute, Sam decided to sleep in his car, stopping to freshen up at truck stops along the way (I guess he’s not CLEAN and sober). His inspiration for his new outlook is attributed to his fiance, Citra, a 26 year old woman from Indonesia. Sam and Citronella met on a **Say it with me now** International dating site where he was first impressed with her kind, and open spirit, and later intrigued by her gran trasero (That’s “big butt”, Kenny, and they don’t even speak Spanish there. I’m just giving you a bonus lesson).  After two years of chatting online, Sam finally made the trek to Indonesia where their romance truly blossomed. He proposed (without a ring, ring pop, or any type of circular object) during his trip, and was excited that Citra agreed to love him for better or worse (I guess worse being not having a car to sleep in).

We also got to meet Citra, who was sitting down to visit with her sisters and chat about her big move to the U.S. Her family had become even more tight-knit since losing her mom only a few years before, and the Sisters Citra were nervous about her marrying an American. Citra mentioned the importance of her Muslim faith, and expected Sam to convert so he would gain her father’s acceptance. 

Back in Kansas, Sam was currently living with his own father, who’s religious beliefs are overshadowed by his alien beliefs…. As in, he’s waiting for them to beam him up. Instead of “phoning home”, Sam rang up Citra on video chat to discuss her upcoming arrival. She was finally coming to Kansas in only 4 short days, which would be immediately followed by a visit from her strict father, Herman (Who is of no relation to either PeeWee or Munster). Sam was nervous about Father Citra’s visit, as he’s an Indonesian 5-0, and Sam is an ex-con (This is one of our first “Love After Lockup/ 90 Day” crossovers). Herman wanted to ensure that his daughter was married as soon as possible, as he didn’t want the two to break any chastity rules before marriage.
It should be interesting to see how everyone is able to adapt; Citra, to life in Kansas, Sam to his new life as a devout Muslim that is going to have to stop at a lot of truck stops to wash his hands 5xs a day, and the aliens, who are going to have to decide if they want to maybe skip abduction this time around. 

Devin 2.0 & Nick-hoon:

Back in Memphis…. The couple and Devin’s lively parents set out on the two hour drive back to Searcy Lannister, Arkansas. Nick was surprised to see the landscape change as they approached the state lines. They finally arrived at the Family Devin’s house, where her 3 siblings were waiting like a wayward Von Trapp family, unenthusiastic that they were getting a new fake brother. After standing around awkwardly, Devin finally gave Nick a house tour, landing in their large room, where Nick immediately demanded she display her piggy stuffed animal and namesake. They then decided to meander around Searcy, which was a bit sleepy on a Sunday….and possibly all of the time. Nick was concerned that he would be the only Asian kid on the block, and would have a hard time adjusting to his new, quiet life.

Back at the house, the family decided to have a good old fashioned fish fry. They invited over their family friends to meet Nick and help cook the old catch of the day. Nick let everyone know that Koreans think Americans are fat and unhealthy, which went over as well as expected to a bunch of well-fed people consuming fried fish. 

He followed that “foot in mouth” comment by lovingly calling Devin “piggy” in front of the entire group. Mother Devin and her gal pal discussed the impact of the piggy moniker, feeling concerned that it could be affecting Devin more than she was letting on. Looks like next week they’ll be taking her wedding dress shopping and she has a few words to say about the matter… which is a lot more words than she said in this episode. 

Ashley & Manuel:

Back at the candle-making shop…. Manuel was still wandering around Rochester after taking off during a temper tantrum. Ashley attempted to make excuses for his outburst, and opted to head home to see if he had returned. She walked into her house to find Manuel sitting on the couch watching soccer, completely ignoring her. Ashley tried talking to him, only to hear “mucho walla walla” (Which means “Too much talking”, Kenny, and it’s rude). Manuel barely looked up from his soccer game to give Ashley the time of day, but briefly shouted at her that he didn’t want her discussing his life with her friends. 

The two must have made up in the bedroom, because the next morning they were all smiles as they headed out to Ashley’s favorite lunch spot for a “garbage plate”. As they sat down for their self induced diarrhea, Ashley began a little wedding-planning chat. She thought the two should elope to West Palm Beach, which would cost around $500 roundtrip for the tickets alone. Of course Manuel was sticker-shocked, thinking of the amount of ceviche he could be providing all of his many wives and children back in Ecuador with that kind of money, but he told Ashley to do whatever she wanted. 

After the two presumably finished excreting the “garbage plate”, they set out to visit Lake Ontario, which looked very much like the ocean. Manuel was finally happy (or at least claimed to be happy, but he looked the same).  As they sat by the water discussing the wedding plans, Manuel tried to explain his family’s money situation back in Ecuador. He claimed it was hard for him to see Ashley blowing money on patchouli and incense when he isn’t currently able to send money home to his real family for things like food and soccer jersies. Ashley finally started to come around, agreeing to do a family layaway plan; $100 down now, with more after the wedding. They both seemed to feel a bit better at the moment, as they ran into the Lake, with Manuel making “sand angels”. He claimed to be with Ashley for love, and not money (but probably also for the free tarot card readings, and mucho walla walla).