The OTHER Way; Season 5, Episode 17

TJ & Kween Kimbally 2:

Back in Jaipur, where the wild cows roam…
As the wedding festivities came to an end at 4:30AM, it was time for Father and Stepmother Kimbally to head home. They had a tearful goodbye with TJ and Kimbally as they began their journey towards the airport. Father Kim’s wise parting words to his daughter were to try and approach things respectfully, which was a good idea that she most likely won’t follow. Kim felt very sad to see her support system go, especially since she was nervous about returning to The Family TJ’s house and all of the drama that had been put on pause for the sake of the wedding.

After a full 24 hours of wedding shenanigans, the couple finally got home, only to partake in some extracurricular rituals. They greeted a friendly cow in the front yard, as Mother TJ threw things at Kimbally (which wasn’t part of the ritual, it was just because she’s annoying). Once inside, Kimbally got to take her first tour of the family kitchen, as she is now part of the family (Everyone knows that the Indian kitchen follows the strict Olive Garden motto: “When you’re here, you’re family”). Apparently this is where families will keep their altars to the Gods, making it a sacred space for both prayer and Totino’s Pizza Rolls.
Kimbally wanted to immediately go up to her apartment with the awful lip on the countertop to pass out, foregoing the last 2 rituals. Unfortunately she still wasn’t allowed to sleep in the same bed as TJ, as they hadn’t yet visited the final God at the temple, which would give them official bed-sharing approval. Sooo maaaach rituals. TJ suggested there would be a few more surprises coming up for Kimbally, as in learning her new roles in the household, which I’m sure will produce high pitched screeching. .

 

Daniele & Yohan:

Daniele sat alone with her extensions on her bed, discussing the status of her relationship since the life coach meeting. It appeared things were going well for a while, especially since Yohan got a job with his nephew as a “debt collector”, driving around all day “collecting debts” (He’ll have the gabagool). They were living the high life off of the debt money, until Daniele noticed someone had been making a series of $40 withdrawals from her bank account. She asked Yohan if he was the culprit, which of course he immediately denied. Eventually he confessed that he was the $40 bandit, collecting what he most likely thought was the debt Daniele owed him for having to deal with her nonsense.
From Yohan’s perspective, he explained that he took money out of her account while she was at a spiritual retreat, as he needed money for more gabagool (since “debt collecting” makes you hungry. Also… that butcher shop is coming in handy). Daniele sat Yohan down in their poorly decorated kitchen area to go over the situation. In total, it appears that Yohan had withdrawn approximately $160, which he felt entitled to, being that the couple is married. He called Daniele a selfish person, and didn’t seem to have a shred of guilt about lying or stealing. Daniele maintained that it wasn’t about the money as much as it was about the lying, as he sat there staring at her with dead eyes. She demanded that Yohan leave the house, but he refused, unless she gave him back his rent money. They seemed to have reached a stalemate, as Daniele tried to maintain that she wanted to try and work things out with the low-budget bandit, but wasn’t sure how she could trust him. (I think they should totally be “Christofa” and Andriana for Halloween…and collect debts).

 

Shekinah & The SarperImage:

After the dinner last week, Shekinah was feeling upset that her sister was still feeling negatively about Sarpei. In an attempt to turn her mood around, Sarps took her mattress shopping to replace the VD petri dish in his bedroom, which really brightened her day. However, once in “Sleepy’s; Turkey”, she mentioned that Sarper forgot to make his relationship announcement post on Instagram- Something super important in any and all mature relationships. She wanted the post to come from him, and not be made under duress. He obliged, posting a heavily filtered photo of the two plastic people, announcing his love to the world and breaking 2500 hearts at once. With Shekinah’s mind now at ease, Sarper brought up the couple’s sex life, noting that despite the lack of bed, they had still managed to have 6 or more rounds on the couch. He felt Shekinah was a “multiple orgasmic b!tch”- which I think is Turkish or possibly Moldovan for “Nice person with a beautiful heart”. Just always blame Moldova. They were probably in the midst of love-making during the conversation at the mattress store, but it was so fast the cameras couldn’t capture it.

 

Holly & Wayne the Drain:

Wayne was off to another clogged drain emergency, as Holly was ready for another day behind bars in her home sweet home. It was the third month that Hairy Holly had been living in South Africa, and she was really starting to miss her mom, since Wayne was working hard around the clock to recoup his crypto investment money. She stopped to video chat with her mother, while wearing some “Black Swan” inspired red eye liner, letting her know she was feeling superior homesick. Holly didn’t have any friends in South Africa, was fearful to leave the house alone, scared from all of the load shedding. The power had gone out, causing her to call Wayne complaining, as she was fearful that the house would get robbed yet again. (I’m not concerned, since I saw Wayne personally booby trap the house with his plumbing skills. Also, Holly could use her hair as tripwire).

 

Brandan & Mary:

The couple had just picked up Brandan’s mother, who was recently traumatized by her terrifying bus ride through the Philippines. They arrived at the family home, with the entire crew coming out to awkwardly greet her. As Mother Brandan skeptically walked around, she was relieved to see the house was much better than she had expected. The only thing she had a hard time getting over were the giant spiders, which wanted to crawl inside of her ears and make a nest (I guess I’m projecting my own fears on her…but it’s accurate). Mary sat huddled against her Grandmother like she was watching a horror movie, while Brandan gave his mom the tour and led her to their “bug free” bedroom (which was more like “Bug-Light; Still contained bugs, but just fewer calories).
Brandan sat down with Mary to try and encourage her to get to know his mom and open up, though he was met with a lot of resistance. Mary felt it was more important for Brandan to “have her back”, and I just sat here wondering if anyone was treating the sty on Mary’s eyelid that we’d been looking at for like 4 episodes.