The Other Way, S4 TELL All Part 2:

Well Part 2 of the Tell All got a bit loud…and I’m not just talking about Debbie’s jacket….

This week picked up with a crying Nicole chasing after her Maaach(BAD)mood. Gabe had offended the moodster, and sent him running off into a temper tantrum. Daniele was personally triggered by his antics, as she claimed that Yohan acted similarly (especially if he found out someone else “measured” bigger than him).The rest of the crew discussed the pointless topic of how Maaachmood and Nicole would raise their hypothetical children they don’t have ( they were all assuming a mannequin can reproduce in the first place….).

Backstage, Nicole tried to calm down her Moody counterpart, who was pacing up and down the streets of Old Cairo, upset that anyone would say something he didn’t like. After a monotone conversation of “Yes my love” by his wife, Machmood returned to the video stage, ready to tell off Gabe. He cursed incessantly at Gabe (which might have been impactful, had he used the curse words appropriately, instead of all haphazardly). Nicole returned to set trying to neutralize the situation, still crying, as Debbie floated over to her on her hot pink feathered raft to give her a hug for support.

Meanwhile, backstage….. Tim and Veronica unnecessarily commented on the situation, feeling that Maaachmood reacted very strongly to such a minor comment. All I’m saying is he should be thankful Angela wasn’t there….but I kind of wish she was.

The attention then moved to Gabe, who was asked about the status of his “bulge” business. He told everyone that the pecker-pants were not just for trans men, but also for OG men, who had less-than-blessed parts. Daniele seemed shocked to hear this, being that she has only been with men that “measure up”, which Gabe nonchalantly pointed out (I think Gabe should call his size XL “The Yohan”). Apparently the new CEO of “Padded Pantaloons Incorporated” is Isabel, who is the real one running the show. Shaun moved on from talking about business to bringing up Gabe and his friend Tre’s friendship (which somewhat seemed to only be shown for the drama factor). Tre came on in his best “Breaking Amish” outfit, saying that though he happens to be a bit of a playboy, he doesn’t encourage Gabe to do the same. He claimed Gabe got a lot of female attention when they would go out, which immediately put Isabel on the defensive, demonstrating exactly why she doesn’t like Gabe going out with Tre. Gabe explained that he has no interest in anyone else, leaving this entire storyline to fall flat putting me in a badmachmoood….

Tim and Veronica summed things up by agreeing that Latina women can be known to be jealous, seeming to be more Team Gabe (but that was probably because Tim wanted a Friends & Family discount on the “plumper panties”).

Things moved over to Jen and Rishi, who admitted they rekindled their romance when Jen just haaaaappened to find herself back in Jaipur for a friend’s wedding. They decided to revisit their intimacy, both smiling from the results. The rest of the cast, namely Debbie, jumped on the Indian Jesus for being a coward and hiding Jen from his mom. Rishi explained the hierarchy of his family vs Jen in some roundabout way, further proving the point that the relationship is going nowhere. Gabe chimed in (which seemed to be trending) to ask Rishi if he wanted Jen to be his girlfriend; Check yes or no.

Of course Rishi was incapable of giving a direct answer, leaving the question if they were engaged or not for Jen to answer.

Jen felt they were not, due to the fact that she refuses to live with the Family Rishi. And fresh out of narcolepsy, Kris perked up, chiming in that Rishi should respect Jen’s request to move (I would think she would be “Team Rishi” being that they were wearing the same jacket…)

Jen’s girl squad came on, seeming surprised by their friend’s reunion with the Indian Jesus. They expressed that they both felt the relationship was destined to fail (and I don’t even think they were astrologists.) Nicole tried to add to the conversation that it was hard to change a person’s culture….even if you fight with them daily. Even if you wear a birkini…

The next question to Rishi was if he’d seen anyone during the separation from Jen, to which he replied “No”. The lie detector says….THAT was a lie. (Well, Maury couldn’t be there so Jen’s girlfriends had to fill in). Randi let everyone know that Rishi had sent many more messages than what were shown on TV. Rishi denied any funny business, and it seemed that the more risque chat was coming from Friend Randi.

Since Rishi had been claiming that his parents were now on board with him marrying Jen, the only logical next step would be to fact check with his mother. Shaun brought Mother and Uncle Rishi in on video chat, who were both unaware of  the engagement altogether. Apparently Rishi’s mom had been taking lessons from Mother Smee and did not want her son marrying an older woman (though she didn’t make any threats to end her life or mention diarrhea even once). Of course the person most bothered by the agism was Debbie, who felt age was meaningless (as she fanned herself with her hot pink feathers). The entire cast put pressure on Rishi to stand up to his mother (and his entire culture) and let her know he planned to marry Jen in the next year. Rishi finally caved, only sounding semi-serious as his mother and uncle laughed on the monitor.

As the Jen segment came to a close, her friends wanted to milk their 5 minutes on stage by expressing their “fots” about the other couples. They were pro Gabe/Isabel, as well as Debbie (but of course boo! Oussama). They felt Danielle emasculated Yohan and kept his coin purse in her actual purse. Danielle and her caked on makeup begged to differ, feeling she rightfully was in charge because she pays the bills (via manifestation).

Backstage, Debbie seemed very proud of Jen for holding it together in the hot seat. Jen was most upset by the recurring mentioning of her age, calling her Never-to-be Mother in law “tacky”. Everyone tried to make her see that Rishi was all talk, though Jen was oblivious. Her friends even mentioned that they had wandered into a local bar in Jaipur, where the staff happened to know Rishi, and told them to “run, don’t walk”.

Back on stage they played a montage of the season’s sex talks. Daniele and Yohan discussed their struggles in the bedroom due to their size discrepancies, but admitted they get creative (and it’s helpful that Yohan has a “Go-Go Gadget”).

The conversation turned towards Debbie, with Shaun asking her about her last “intimate” experience (probably hoping she wouldn’t hear any details about the “Nights in Casablanca”. Luckily, she said the physical aspect never happened with Oussama, and she now intended to wait for an older seasoned gentleman…..(who’s poetry actually rhymes).

Things shifted toward Gabe, who once again explained the technical aspects of his anatomy in full detail…..a bit from here, a bit from there, all that came to mind was “Frankenweenie”.

Finally it was time to discuss Kris and Jeymi, who looked glum as they rewatched the end of their relationship on the big screen. Kris first said her biggest defense mechanism is to leave, otherwise she blacks out (aka her version of “narcolepsy”). Jeymi felt she was scammed, and that Kris presented herself very differently online (perhaps maybe not like a narcoleptic crazy person loves weapons and horrible outfits).

While Kris says she was working day and night to pay the Colombian bills, Jeymi claims she only received one payment for a bit over $1000. Kris and her horrible roots became extremely angry, making Jeymi out to be a “User Moohamit”, saying she was only looking for money. She also claimed that Jeymi had cheated on her three different times during their relationship, finding another narcoleptic American in Texas to chat with upon Kris’s unexplainable absence. 

Jeymi clarified that she had thought Kris was out of the picture before she had chatted up the long tall Texan, but left her once Kris reemegerd from the K-hole. The two each accused the other of lying, with Kris spewing out a bunch of new tall tales that all made Jeymi out to be the bad guy. She seemed to have won over at least one person (Debbie), who empathize with her situation too much, comparing Jeymi to Oussama (quite the low blow…I think Debbie just liked her jacket). In the previews for next week’s Part 3, Jeymi accused Kris of cheating on HER, and the plot just thickens.

(Someone bring Miss Debbie her Texas Margarita and keep her away from Kris…)