HEA S7; Tell All Part 2

This week started right back up where we left off at the cliffhanger; Ed had amnesia about communicating with his ex, Rose in the Philippines. Rose revealed that the mini-man had been in touch, and had even asked if the two could get together the next time he was in town….in the Philippines. Liz felt betrayed as she read the text conversation displayed on the screen, wandering back to confront Ed while simultaneously showing off her wedgie in her shiny pink dress. Ed maintained this was somehow just an example of Liz being dramatic as he continued to deny any wrong doings. Instead of apologizing or consoling his crying fiance, Ed felt the only reasonable response was to ask for the engagement ring back. The entire cast sat in disbelief as they headed off to break to talk smack about him in the green room.

Off-set, Ed tried to gain Jenny’s sympathy, as he expressed feeling like no one was on his side (though if he wanted to win Jenny over, he should have told her about all of Liz’s incessant nasal flossing that lead to their recent breakup). Undrrrrrei, the resident “troof” teller, laughed about the ridiculous relationship, claiming it was obviously over, as he choked down a free salad (Craft services never carries meat Jello. He had to settle). Yara finally asked Liz the question everyone wanted to know: “What makes you attracted to him??” which never received a valid enough answer. And never would.
If only Angela had been there…. (All the King’s horses and all the King’s men, couldn’t put Big Egg back together again).

Speaking of Angela, Queen Meemaw finally returned to set, and Kimbally took the opportunity to speak with her privately. She let Ang know she didn’t appreciate the things she’d said about Supastar Sojaboy being a User (Moohamit). Angela came back down to Earth, doubting her initial views on their relationship, and came back out on stage to apologize to the musical icon.
Shaun played Angela’s clips from the season, beginning with Mykull’s scandalous voicemails to another woman. Meemaw sat in tears, devastated that Mykull had been using the same lines on another Meemaw, even when she was in Nigeria while he was trying to woo her back. The cast seemed to be shocked to hear that Angela’s cheating allegations had finally come to fruition. Mykull tried his best to deflect and deny, explaining that although the incriminating voicemails were real, they didn’t mean a thing. In his defense, he was just trying to patronize an internet fan, even though he was exchanging “I love yous” and saying he would send this mystery woman money. He also admitted this woman was an American, and that he had said he could meet her once he got to the states and left Meemaw and Hazelhurst in the dust. It turned out Mykull was playing the long game after all. Angela brought on her “secret weapon”, aka Mykull’s Uncle Steven, who was known around town for his affinity for shiny purple hats. 
Ang brought him on as a marriage counselor, of sorts, who’s main purpose was to yell at Mykull for having an online extra marital affair. The entire cast shamed Mykull for his side-chick, especially when it was revealed that he had invited this mystery woman to Nigeria for “Valentime’s” Day. Angela appeared genuinely hurt with a twinge of smug “I told ya so” as she deferred to Uncle Steven for advice (After this segment I called up my own Uncle Steven and told him he’d better up his hat-game).

Things moved on to Libby and Undrrrrrei, catching up on what these two bozos have been up to as of late. Elizabeth belted out her rendition of the classic “Marrrr-ay had a lit-tull lammmmbb”, which was a “No” from me, dawg (Don’t worry, Undrrrrrei. Paula said she’s going to Hollywood). After the shameless plug for the family’s “Ellie’s World” Youtube channel, the conversation moved on to discuss Elizabeth’s family. Charlie/Beavis came on stage ready to talk about Un-dray, bro, accompanied by Sister Becky with the lurex bandaids over her boobs. As Shaun replayed clips from their season, the tensions were mounting on stage. Undrrrrrei maintained his callous indifference for his in-laws, while they tried desperately to have their sister see that her Moldy man was trying to keep her away from the family. Charlie explained his side of the story, in 27 “bro’s” or less, stating that Un-dray was the root of the problem. Of all people to open their mouths, Big Ed chimed in, agreeing that Undrrrei was acting rude to the entire family. Of course the Moldy “Troof” police brought Ed down a notch (if that was even possible), reminding him that he kicked his own fiance out of the house 10 times, and was terrorizing everyone with his relationship……which for some reason was on this show EVEN THOUGH THEY BOTH LIVE IN THE SAME COUNTRY!! Sorry, I’ll continue…
More fighting ensued, leading up to a visit from Undrrrrei’s immigration lawyer, who weighed in on the Green Card situation. The Potthastesees maintained that they didn’t tattle-tell on Undrrrrei, but probably high-fived the person who did, while the lawyer explained any false claims would result in a Federal offense. It seemed that another factor (besides any meddling Potthast) came up in Undrrrrrei’s past that may have impacted his immigration status; He previously overstayed a Visa. Rut-Roh!  Jenny seemed to think the family was at fault, because, well…. She (and her fat arms) tend to blame the family. The segment ended on a softer note, as Becky made a plea for peace to reconcile the relationship with both Libby and Undrrrrei. It seemed the Moldy maniac was softening, as he hugged her backstage and entertained the idea of a reunion.

After a wild day of filming, the cast headed out to film-but-not-film more drama at a rooftop afterparty. The cast were divided into odd pairings to head off to the next location. Shyduh, Kimbally, and Liz set out in a cab together. Shy-shy tried to lift Liz’s spirits by complimenting her feet and toes- just what everyone wants to hear. Kimbally tried to make Liz feel better by reminding her to stand in her power and look at the mountain. Undrrrrrei and Angela were paired together in the Disney Villain fun bus, seemingly getting along and providing each other with useful advice. So. Maaach.Trooooof.

Big Ed and Bilal rode together, talking in circles as they made it to the destination. The bar was well stocked and the appetizers looked delicious as the couples enjoyed the NYC skyline from the rooftop venue (Someone grab Jenny before she trips off the edge. The LifeAlert I got her does not include that scenario).  Ed wasted no time seeking out Liz (who was once again complimented on her toes by Shy-duh…. It’s getting a little creepy). He seemed to be sincere as they began their heart-to-heart chat, but quickly went left, when Ed tried to turn the situation around and blame Liz (In fairness, he did ride over with Bilal. He’s a quick study). 
Ed tried to blame Liz for not standing up for him during filming, and claimed that she was “performing” for the cameras. Liz stomped her gorgeous feet down the stairs, crying, as she went back to girl talk and hors d’oeuvres. Back at the open bar, Jovi sat with Angela, helping her to see if Michael was back on Instagram despite his claim that he was “Mother Debbie Done”. It appeared that he was in the clear, as their search was interrupted by Liz, filling the gals in on Ed’s latest stupidity. This was all news to Meemaw, who was outside having a panic attack during the Ed/Liz segment, missing the whole thing, and was clearly not going to let this fly.

Meanwhile, Jovi and Undrrrrei came back together, looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito in “Twins” (I had no idea Undrrrrei was so huge. I think he gets taller every time he “bleeps”). Despite the two’s differences, they both agreed on the fact that Big Ed was a Big jerk. They tried to console Liz, before they were interrupted by Ed, who accused her of acting. Ed then turned his mini-rage to Jovi, bringing up his own bad behavior, when they were interrupted by Angela, wearing her fighting ponytail. Dun-dun-DUUUUN!!!

Can’t wait to see Angela kick Ed like a soccer ball off the side of the building, onto someone’s windshield below, who would just casually use their wipers to clear the Mucinex blob off, because it’s New York. And weirder things have happened. 
Until next time!