HEA; S7, EP 15

Kimbally & International Local Talent Supastar Sojaboy:

Somehow, poor Jamal got roped into going to Nigeria to meet his “Potential” Sojadad. Kim was still optimistic about her future marriage, even though the couple now had to deal with smuggling Sojaboy’s Sojanephew into the country to fulfill his pact with Sojamom. 
Kim and Jamal headed off to Nigeria to let the games begin. Upon meeting his new potential stepson, Usman was a bit nervous but decided to proceed with the air of cockiness that has gotten him this far in life. He greeted Kimbally more happily than he has ever been shown in the past, really laying on the charm thick for the sake of that green card. 
Sojaboy greeted Jamal in a friendly and casual way, as they packed into the car to head to the hotel. With Sojaboy at the wheel, the three headed off onto the busy Nigerian highway, with Jamal remarking about all of the panhandlers in the road as if he’s never been on the BQE on-ramp in Williamsburg…..(I realize that is very specific, but if ya know, ya know.)
Once they were back at the hotel and settled in their respective rooms, Jamal came into the honeymoon suite where a series of silver domed trays lined the coffee table, full of Nigerian cuisine (some of which looked like Mother Smitt’s favorite excuse for not attending yoga class…) Dinner conversation revolved around Sojaboy’s intentions, which Jamal was eager to uncover. Sojaboy then presented him with a gift- A regifted PS5!! (It was probably his in the first place, but yay anyway!)
The next day Kim took Jamal on a playdate with Usman and his buddies, Giant and KB (of the milkshake throwing event). All of the guys got along well doing some kind of archery activity, and then the kids all went to have smoothies and discuss the “Sojally” relationship. 
The topic of procreating immediately came up, with Usman letting everyone know his idea of stealing his nephew in the name of adoption. Apparently the only one who wasn’t in on this new plan was Usman’s brother, Moohamit (the User, and father of the soon-to-be Soja-abuductee), and there was already a meeting set up for the next day to all sit down and discuss. Kimbally felt blindsided, as she was under the impression that the idea of baby-napping had been pre discussed with Moohammit, but was instead going to be introduced for the first time in her presence. Previews for next week show that the home viewers aren’t the only ones confused and shocked by Usman’s hairbrained scheme…

Angela & Mykal??:

After last week’s video chat with Angela’s Canadian man friend, Billy, Mykal has left the building. He feels that Angela is wrong for ruining his potential Instagram fame due to her insecurities about his flirtations with his female fan base, but refuses to acknowledge the hypocrisy when it comes to her relationship with Bill the Thrill. Angela had told Billy that she plans to come to Canada, whether or not Mykal approves, as she is committed to “saving his life”, as he needs a new kidney. 
Angela followed Mykey back to their very messy hotel room, to try and make peace. Although she is usually the one to walk off and give ultimatums, she was afraid Mykal might have a point with this situation, and agreed not to take her trip to the land of Maple Syrup for the sake of her marriage. The two kissed and kanoodled under the covers, as the camera panned to a set of lumpy sheets in the bed, with Angela’s rogue ponytail strewn over the lampshade. Just before the couple were about to reunite biblically in front of a traumatized camera crew, Mykal got a text from one of the “goofballs”, who he had sworn to Angela he was not in contact with. Instead of immediately flying off the handle, Angela practiced restraint, and suggested that they meet with the goofballs to clear the air (or because they now ran out of things for them to do if they aren’t fighting or going to Canada). Can’t wait to see how the Goofballs like the Meemaw makeover…

Yovi:

Jovi and Yara ditched the rest of their entourage to go sight-seeing (and hopefully for Jovi’s sake- beer tasting) in Germany. Yara brought up her idea of staying in Europe again, hoping that Jovi had enough time to mull it over and change his mind. But as luck would have it, Jovi came up with a new idea. He proposed that the two go back to the swamp and have a new baby instead. Unfortunately Yara saw through his bait and switch tactic, immediately putting the kibosh on baby Jovi #2. She felt he was just trying to weigh her down so it would be harder for her to leave the U.S., especially with the amount of baby equipment she would need for two. How ever would she have room in her carry on luggage to bring her life-changing sweaters?!
Back at the Deutschland hotel, Yara and her friend Karina were having a swim in the hot tub during a snow flurry (It’s a good thing Karina was able to remember her bathing suit when fleeing her homeland, but it was unfortunate about forgetting her sweater…). Karina was shocked to hear that Jovi brought up the idea of having another kid, agreeing with Yara that it was a tactic to get her to stay put.
While the girls were taking their winter swim, Jovi and “Talmadge” were warming up their insides with more beer, and discussing their version of the same topic. Jovi mostly talked while Tal chimed in as his “yes man” every once in a while, which I guess was his sole purpose for this segment anyway. Can’t figure out how they are going to stretch this story out any further. Perhaps the people of Ukraine need matching scarves?!

Jenny & Someitch:
Jenny’s daughter and her wife were along for the ride, as the couple prepared to meet with the Family Scumfit for what I would only guess would be a calm and enjoyable dinner. The dramatic music played as Father Smitt, Brother, and Sister In law SumpPump entered the outdoor dining area. Noticeably missing was the star of the show, Mother Smee, who Father explained was home, sick……..sick and tired of her son being married to an ancient woman with fat arms. 
Daughter Christina began the opening ceremonies by asking the Family Smee to accept her mom and the couples’ unconventional relationship. Father could not accept all of the smack talk by his friends, neighbors, and Indian culture in general, and therefore would not be changing his position on the relationship any time soon (also, I don’t want to think about “positions” and this relationship in the same sentence, post Kama Sutra class. RIP Summee’s belly button…)
Jenny brought up the idea of taking their golden child to the U.S. where their unlikely romance would be readily accepted, and not considered “taboo” (Maybe the parents Smitt would change their mind if they saw the TLC show “Strange Love”. One viewing would have them thankful that their son is only with an “elder” and not some lady pretending to be a pony while dressed in a leather harness…) Of course this threat seemed to take the Family Stoopee by surprise, and would undoubtedly provoke Mother SumCheese to make more delightfully dramatic empty threats. 

Big Ed & Regular Size Liz:

Liz and her girlfriends (they were only FRIENDS, Ed… calm down) decided to randomly go whale/dolphin watching upon her return from Arkansas. While floating around on the boat, Liz told her friends about her plans to go back to work in order to rebuild her savings and stop spending so much time with Ed. In addition to this new change, Liz is also worried about her daughter’s father being stationed overseas, which might mean that her daughter would be moving (as he has full custody and most judges watch 90 Day Fiance, meaning no custody for Liz). She feels like Ed needs to provide more emotional stability, citing that her relationship with her daughter is what’s most important.
Although she claimed that rebuilding her independence was priority number one, Liz accompanied Ed to go house hunting, which would be a big step for the tumultuous pair. 
Ed’s lease was almost up and they felt a house would be something new and exciting to fight about. Of course with his background in design Ed expected a lot from his dream home, while Liz seemed perfectly happy living in a car, as she does so often when she and Ed break up every other week.
The house they looked at together seemed to be the perfect combination of all of Ed’s “must haves”, that is, except the price tag. Unfortunately it was way over budget, and out of the cards for now. Liz got emotional discussing the future, as she is suddenly realizing her petty fights with Ed were far less important than her daughter moving to another country. She asked that they agree to start over fresh, by moving to a new city and leave all of their drama in San Diego. Ed mentioned going to Palm Springs, which is ironically Jenny’s old homestead, so obviously a relationship with a large age gap would be readily accepted there. Although he has spent so much of his life in San Diego, he agreed to entertain the move for the sake of his relationship (he can always go back to San Diego every other weekend when they break up). 

B-Lull & Shy-duh:

Trying to salvage the rest of their NYC trip, Bilal set up a romantic helicopter ride over the city. Although they seemed to be having fun, Shy-duh couldn’t shake the baby topic. As soon as they reached land and put their snack trays in the upright position, Shyduh started in with a baby-making ultimatum, this time looking for a date to circle on the calendar. Bilal did his best to sidetrack and gaslight his wife, but she had made up her mind that she wanted a baby or she was Mother Debbie Done. 
After the helicopter debacle, Bilal and Shyduh were strolling sadly through Central Park, mulling over the whole ultimatum situation. She left Bilal to wander around and hopefully get mugged, as she spent the remainder of the day with Uterus, being it was her last day in town.
Uterus brought up the conversation she had with Bilal, happy to report that he had revealed he would be fine if by some stroke of luck Shyduh became pregnant, even though he didn’t feel ready. “U” suggested Shyduh stop taking her birth control pills just to expedite the process, but was shocked to hear that Bilal was the one using contraceptives. The conversation took a turn, with Uterus getting a whole “Crazy Eyes” from “Orange is the New Black” look, as she told Shy-duh to scratch everything she just said; B-lull does not want a baby and she needs to decide if he is more important than having a child. Shyduh spoke about the recent ultimatum, and admitted that at the present time, she was choosing the adventure of a child instead of an OCD manchild, who plays games and pranks.