The Other Way; S4 TELL ALL!!

As if making it through this entire season of “The Other Way” wasn’t grueling enough, it was time for the “Tell All”. The cast trickled into the studio in New York (and no one even bothered to call and let me know they were in town).  Victor was rocking that “Just got back from my vacation in Jamaica ” look (the island, not Queens), with the little decorative beads on his beard-lock. Steven kicked off the evening by passive aggressively offending Evilone, saying that her purple turtleneck was the most modest outfit he’d ever seen her wear (And he should know. He’s the only one that subscribes to her OnlyFans). 

Once the couples were in their respective places (both on set and via satellite), Shaun began with Ari and Biniyam, who were sitting together on the stage. Biniyam went for a casual look, wearing what I’m going to assume was the jersey of Ethiopia’s first and only ice hockey team, while Ari went for more of an evening feel, with her red cocktail dress/Snooki poof combo. The couple revealed that they did indeed get their K1-Visa, and are currently living stateside back in her hometown (hence the Snooki poof-very Jersey).

The attention shifted to Steven, who was in the extra bouncy hot seat as he sat next to the screen with Alina. The other couples asked for a status update on his internet flirtations. Steven admitted that after a recent marital spat, he gave in to temptation and responded to the 9 girls who had propositioned him online by showing them photos of his ridiculously long tongue while making weird and embarrassing innuendos. Alina apparently was aware of these communications, probably because they were all Mashas # 1-9.  Kenny tried to chime in by saying that he and Armando had tried to counsel young Steven at the start of the season, warning him that being on tv would bring a lot of unsolicited attention on social media, and even boob pictures (but Kenny only got those from Coltee and Angela. They don’t count. Please, Karmando… if you’re seriously thinking about adoption, don’t pick this kid.)

Corey tried to take the heat off of himself by chiming in to make Steven sound like the worst Mormon ever, even though he clearly forgot one of the most basic commandments of their faith, “Thou shalt not Skiddlypoop Peruvian Jenny”. Steven made awkward attempts to fire rude comments at almost everyone, before busting out a random Nelson Mandela quote to try and justify his lack of accountability for his embarrassing behavior. As luck would have it, Steven’s ex girlfriend was in the neighborhood and stopped by to declare her loyalty to #TeamAlina. She revealed that during her and Steven’s lengthy three month relationship, he had slept with approximately three girls (which is still confusing that this guy has this much game). The ex girlfriend, Vanessa, wanted Alina to know that deep down, Steven is just a skeezeball who was looking to skiddlypoop anything with bewbs from Instagram. Steven also admitted that he had told Alina he was interested in having a threesome (but he should ask Kody Brown how well that one turned out for him). Despite the first hand warnings and encouragement to run away by the rest of the cast (and world), Alina seems to want to give Steven another chance and is dragging him to a therapist… (Not Kenny). Alina, you are on the fast track to becoming Meri, when you should be striving to be somebody else’s Robyn. 

Shaun turned her attention to Jenny and ScrubbedMeat, congratulating the couple on their  nuptials. Jenny gushed about her wedding day and subsequent life as Mrs. Stewmeat while Smeet sat there, quietly smiling. Even though Sunchip finally got dragged into marrying Jenny, he was still holding out on telling his parents the big news (possibly so they’d have a storyline for another season). Shaun and the rest of the cast encouraged Slugfeet to face his fears, by telling his parents they now have an ancient daughter in law in front of an international audience. The brother Submit and his wife Shree were welcomed on the screen to add to the family affair. The Parents Smeet made their appearance, lured on the show after being told they were being nominated for “Best Screen Performances for Cleanest Nasal Passages in a Reality Series”, only to realize they had been tricked into coming on and watching all of their highlights. Things got a bit awkward when Shaun showed the clip of the parents welcoming and accepting Jenny, only to later admit to the cameras that it was “Opposite Day” in India.
Shaun gave ScooBee at least three different chances to tell his family about his marital bliss, but he completely chickened out. It was clear that the Parents SumYeast are still against this marriage, though they had come to terms with the couple living together. Mother SooMe even agreed to help Jenny register at Crate & Barrel (Because she thought it meant crating Jenny up and sending her back to the U.S. in an actual barrel). Even Brother SomeCreep agreed with his parents’ stance on the marriage situation (but probably because he wanted to maintain his status as favorite child, first in line to inherit the family nasal floss). 
Kendoll tried to chime in and mediate the situation, because ya know how much he hates when people don’t accept marriages…. He encouraged Brother Stewmeat and Shree to try putting themselves in SunFlea’s shoes (completely forgetting that shoes aren’t a big thing in India). Their entire segment ended without revelation, leaving the Family Submit in the dark about the marriage- at least until someone from Indian “society” who has seen the show walks by them on the street, ringing the bell of shame.

Team Karmando was up next, with Amrando tuning in to say “hola” all the way from Mexico. Little Hannah sat by his side, modeling her adorable new “Pulp Fiction” haircut, because she’s just everyone’s favorite. Kenny happened to be in the U.S. awaiting the birth of his daughter Cassidy’s baby/ his second grandchild, so he made it to the studio. The visit was bittersweet, being that he really misses living near his kids and getting to spend time with his grandson, but is so happy living his best married life in Mexico with Armando. After watching a highlight reel of their season, they began discussing their favorite topic; Father Armando’s acceptance. Two of Kenny’s triplet daughters came on the stage (Madison with the beach waves and Taylor with the “Pretty Woman” hair). They got emotional talking about the possibility of Karmando having a baby Karmandito, as they feel their dad is too far into his #GrampyLife to start all over. Armando gave a moody eye roll as he listened to his new stepchildren gripe about their objections to the prospects of their Angela-aged father toting. My best guess is that they’ll be back for another season, though I wish they would just get their own spinoff and get off of my basura tv (That’s trash television, Kenny).

Then there were Ari and Biniyam, sitting awkwardly on the couch. They were joined by Ari’s ex, Leandro (which was the closest Steven was getting to a threesome).  As they went through all of the events of the season, Shaun discussed the close relationship between Ari and Leandro and the negative impact it may be having on her relationship with Biniyam. Ari expressed that she and Leandro shared a close friendship that may lead to a spot on the series “You, Me and My Ex”. She also discussed the awkward phone call she made to Leandro, who was still legally her husband at the time, to let him know she was pregnant with Biniyam’s baby. All the while, Biniyam sat there with his sad puppy eyes, passively trying to ask Leandro to butt out.
The Sister’s Biniyam (Wish and Mimi) came on to add fuel to the fire. They seemed to be a source of trouble-stirring back in Ethiopia, as Ari claimed they were the ones sending her intel on Biniyam’s house parties. Wish and Mimi maintained that the Nanny (who Ari is very close with) was the one starting rumors. Ari yelled at her future sister in laws, as she got up and left the stage in a fit of rage (even though they were in another country). Biniyam sat by quietly, telling Shaun that everything will be okay eventually, and b*tches be crazy. (Maybe. Just a little. Like 55%….)

Meanwhile, over on the couch straight from Providensssssseyuh….
Shaun welcomed Ellie and Victor, immediately expressing her condolences about losing all of his Bob Marley posters and engagement rings during the hurricane. As Victor recounted his story (“The sea was angry that day, my friends…”), Ellie and her boingy locks sat there awkwardly. It seems that the couple are staying stateside until Provuhdenseeya is back on the grid. Of course the whole cheating scandal came up, which brought out a guest appearance by Ellie’s friend, Hiromi. Victor tried to minimize his cheating, citing that basically everyone cheats, and he didn’t even love the girl so it didn’t count anyway. The couple seemed horrified while re watching the clips of their drunken seaside fighting (probably because it was the first time seeing them, since there’s no tv in Providenseeyuh). They claimed to be working on anger management in therapy (which is being paid for by Ellie, with the money she was supposed to be putting into the “Victor Motorcycle” fund). Clearly, a bright future ahead for these two.

Tuning in from the salty, stanky shores of Engabao were Corey and Evelin, along with her two evil sisters. Corey’s brother was on the stage in the states, accompanied by his wife Taylor (who were both apparently starring in a remake of “The Crucible ”,according to their collars). The first topic was about the rift between Corey and his family, and his much better looking brother’s unwillingness to travel internationally during a pandemic to FreshStep Island to watch him marry someone that hates him- for the second time. Evelin seemed to still be struggling with the whole “Peruvian Jenny” situation, and all of Corey’s lying. Her sisters  were very open about still hating Corey, as they cackled with pride while re watching their segment with the soup. The Sisters Evilone, Lipsy and Tipsy, dug into Corey’s brother for not attending the wedding. They bragged at how well they were able to put their hatred for Corey to the side to be there for their sister, and Corey’s family should have done the same (They should’ve had these two on with the Family SumSheet!)
After the fighting amongst the families died down, the clips with Peruvian Jenny were played once more. Evelin began freaking out, crying, claiming that she was done (again) with her toxic marriage(for the second time). Corey admitted that things had been tough since the show aired and had exposed a lot of his lies to her majesty. He also told everyone that he had gotten Evilone a therapist to help her deal with the lying (Victor should take a crack at that one).  

In conclusion, Saint Kenny is capable of hosting and coaching the entire show. AboynamedSue(Me) is still scared of being put in time out by his parents, while Steven should have been put in MORE time out by HIS parents….like, permanently. Ari (much like the Parents Sumitch) thought she was going to an awards show, and Biniyam just sat there daydreaming about butt bongos. Ellie will most likely move back to Providenssssea and open a new pizza joint called “Pizza Dred”, where pizza meets an existential life crisis……and beard-locks.Corey will continue to be The Queen of Engabao’s court jester until the end of time, while she and her evil stepsisters point and laugh at him. 

And thus concludes The Other Way, Season 4. No more, season 4. Adios! (That’s Bye, Kenny).

I am SOOO MAAAACH looking forward to the new season of BEFORE THE 90 DAYS, which will be airing this coming Sunday!! I will be recapping and posting ALL NEW YOUTUBE VIDEOS!! 

See you soon!