The Other Way; S4, EP 12

Jenny & Slumflea:

After receiving the Parents Sunchips’ official statement of indifference last week, Jenny was excited to head to the family astrologer to figure out the couples’ long awaited wedding date. The astrologer consulted “the stars”, who gave the green light to get married in approximately 9 days (Pretty sure he just shook his Magic 8 Ball and got one of those “Outlook not so good” messages but decided to give them the benefit of the doubt). Jenny of course was overwhelmed with excitement, though Runaround-Sue(me) looked like he was going to diarrhea his pants (if he only has one diarrhea, he still has to marry Jenny. Any less than 5 diarrheas means you have to go about your day, according to Mother dearest).

The next stop for these starstruck love birds was yet another trip to the marriage registrar’s office (I hope this joint has some kind of punch card rewards program…these two are regulars) . Jenny couldn’t wipe the cheesy grin off of her ancient face as she began filling out the paperwork and submitting the required documents. Though this was the obvious next step toward marital bliss, Shoefeet seemed shocked that his days as a bachelor were numbered.

He later took the Delorean back to 2004 so he could visit an internet Cafe, where he called an old friend to discuss his fear of getting married (his friend had a fantastic grey streak in his hair, like an Indian “Mr Sheffield”). Shmee’s friend could not understand how his old buddy Mike Jones could have led Jenny on for all of these years, going through all of the struggles with his family, only to now be afraid of marriage. He tried to give Soupee a pep talk, reminding him that he has basically been married to Jenny already since they had been living in sin for so long (and that let’s face it, he’d probably only be married for a few years since Jenny is 109 years old anyway). Slurpee explained that he was traumatized by his failed secret arranged marriage that he previously failed to disclose, and feared that he would not be able to survive another divorce. He confessed that after signing the papers for the marriage license with Jenny, he ran back by himself and took them back. Splitpea’s friend let him know that his stupid behavior was not going to go over well with Jenny (who at this point had already called Rebecca sooo maaach beautiful sooo sexy to ask about borrowing her corset wedding dress and carriage, which may or may not be pulled by the local pack of monkeys, depending on the budget). After all of the lies and deception in the past, will the pulling of the marriage license be the final straw that sends Jenny back to the U.S. to live at Shady Pines?? Will she ever stop doodling “Mrs. Mike Jones” on her notebook?? Tune in next week…

Karmando:

As the sunset-less wedding draws closer, the couples’ familia (That’s “family”, Kenny), began to arrive. Kenny’s son, ⅔ of the triplet daughters, and their significant others pulled up to the condominio (that’s condo, Kenny), and were all so happy to finally be reunited after so much time. Soon afterwards Armando’s fan club arrived, which included his mother, sister, cousin, and the guest of honor- Father Armando, who was wearing a Paris baseball cap (Unsure if it was from Texas or France). Both of their families seemed glad to meet, as they made their way to the backyard for a taco dinner (that’s taco, Kenny. Just eat the guac, it’s extra). 

The next day, Armando took his mother and sister aside to gossip about Father Armando. As if making the voyage to the condo and leaving his booming crystal necklace Etsy shop wasn’t enough, Armando wanted to know how his father was thinking/feeling and what he was saying about the wedding. Mother and Sister Armando didn’t seem to offer much dirt on the subject, but did convey the message that Father A. was going to be weirded out at the part of the ceremony where the new husbands seal the deal with a kiss (he’s probably just mad it wasn’t going to be at sunset). Someone better tickle Father Armando during ceremony and make him smile… It’s not enough that we had to hear about him attending, but if he isn’t happy we’re going to hear about it for another 6 episode…

Later on, Kenny had some alone time with his brood, which allowed him to broach the topic of family planning. He told his kids that he and new Papa Armando were considering have a child of their own by either surrogate or adoption, which did not go over well. Kenny’s kids felt as though they were already missing time with their father, and another child would further drive a wedge between his preexisting family and future grandchildren. 
Of course this reaction upset Kendoll, even though he was on the fence about toting an egg at his age. I wonder what Father Armando is going to wear to the wedding?? Maybe he’ll surprise everyone and wear a rainbow crystal necklace. 

Elliedensia &VictorBaba:

Meanwhile, back in Provideeeeensia…
With little to do on the island for date night,Victor decided to take Ellie to see his exact location during the big storm. They headed to his sister’s house, which was missing the roof and walls, though incredibly enough- the chotchkas remained perfectly intact (this episode is sponsored by Command Hooks. Command hooks, withstanding 300 mph winds in Providencia.). 
Ellie sat, mouth-breathing, as she listened to Victor recant his harrowing tale of hiding under the kitchen sink for 6 hours, scrolling through Proooovidenssseuh Tinder while the storm winds blew, and the rest of the family held on to his beard-lock for safety. Ellie felt more connected to Victor after hearing his harrowing story of survival (which I’m sure he was hoping would help him get into her sensible twill awkward length Dockers and more importantly-her LL Bean fanny pack). 
After the hurricane tour, they headed back to their lovenest by the beach.Since walls are hard to come by these days in Provuhdensia, they had set up a tent inside of the house to sleep in. Victor invited Ellie to sit around a fire so they could discuss their future plans, which apparently included some egg toting. Ellie wasn’t quite sure if it was the right time to have a baby, since the house only contained a tent for 2, but Baba strongly disagreed. He felt Ellie was too hung up on money, and that she should just let go of it….. (preferably relocating it to the pockets of his droopy drawers). The nightcap ended badly, with the two retiring to different floor spots in the family shanty, both realizing that this whole relationship was stupid (though pretty much everyone else could have told them that awhile ago….also, the beard dred was a dead giveaway). 

Ari & Biniyam:

After last week’s unproductive conversation (supervised by the translator), Mother Ari decided to take a turn talking things over with Biniyum-yum. They let the translator tag along, since she seemed like a possible butt-bongo partner for later.
Mother Ariela dug into Biniyam, first confronting him about turning the family house (which I’m guessing she pays for) into a flop house. Bini quickly replied, letting her know that he was just using the house as his new recording studio, and may or may not have had Superstar Sojaboy over to go dey for you. After hearing that completely logical explanation, the Positive Gangster asked Biniyam point blank if he had cheated, to which he replied with a “no” and a smirk.This was good enough for Mother Ari, who then led the way back to the apartment to rehash things with her daughter…. Who isn’t apparently capable of running her own relationship. Ariela and Biniyam both agreed they would like to try and make things work between them, though they are each hoping the other changes (like into a new person). 

Snorey & Evilone:  

Meanwhile, back in Engabao….
Corey and Evilone are “game on” for the wedding but still working out some logistics. Evelin doesn’t want to get married in her church, since she figured it would be easier to get divorced if they kept God out of it. Since now they needed an officiant, Evelin proposed that her evil kid sister, Lesly, should perform the ceremony (I guess it seems only fitting that their wedding was officiated by someone that hates Corey, being that he’s marrying someone that also hates him. Basically the wedding theme is “Hate Corey”). Of course he was not thrilled with this idea, but he reluctantly agreed, since he would do anything for the Princess of Engabao.