The Other Way; S4, EP 9

Snorey & Evilone:

Corey is all dressed up fancy like he has a court date, but in reality he has an actual date with the princess of Engabao herself, Evelin. After living it up with his frenemy Raul for a week, Corey decided to rent his own Engabao high rise, which came equipped with 2 double beds and fancy bamboo moulding. He was busy whipping up his famous “Core-burgers” when Evelin arrived, annoyed but determined to endlessly punish him forever and ever, amen. 
Corey set the table with a local floral arrangement and what appeared to be either a molotov cocktail or a candle shoved in a beer bottle, either one works I suppose. Evelin started the conversation with a snarky comment about the odd double bed situation which segued nicely into discussing his lying and infidelity. Soft-Core seemed to be doing and saying anything possibly to get back into her majesty’s good graces, even agreeing to go to couples counseling.

The next day, Snorey met up with Evelin so she could belittle him in front of the therapist. She seemed unenthusiastic about trying to work things out with Corey, resenting him for lying about his full blown relationship with Peruvian Jenny. She then brought up some story involving a car accident, where she had ruined the family hoopty and called only Corey (her estranged husband at the time who SHE had broken up with), for support. She seemed mad that Corey didn’t jump at the chance to instantly return to the kitty litter shores of Engabao to comfort her during her time of need. Corey confessed that he skipped out on playing the hero to test drive Peruvian Jenny, finally admitting he had lied. Evelin felt like this was progress, and therapy seemed to end on a positive note…well, as positive as these two get.

Steven & Alina:

It was time for Mother Alina to “I go Russia”, so Steven worked hard packing snacks for the group journey to see her off. On the taxi ride to the airport, Steven made sure to offer everyone, including the cab driver, a cookie from his hand like a polite toddler. Mother Alina was beyond over Steven and his antics, but let her daughter stay to learn from her own mistakes.
Steven then decided to take Alina to a Turkish bath house for a spa day, where there will hopefully not be any viewings of Star Wars. Since the tiled bath house produced a lot of echoing, Steven resorted to creepily whispering for the entire segment (All while wearing a plaid robe over his lap like he was an extra in “Braveheart”). He claimed to be using the steam to air out his pores and sins, hoping it would be an all around cleansing experience. Alina asked him yet again to delete his social media accounts to prove his love and devotion. He reluctantly agreed, coming up with a few stalling techniques. 
After bath time, the couple headed to a park to sit and discuss the social media issue. Alina had heard from her sexy decoy friend Masha that Steven had fallen for their trap by sending Masha suggestive emojis. Steven tried to backtrack about deleting his social media accounts (while wearing his crystal necklace, which was possibly made by Father Armando and sold in his Etsy shop, “The Family Jewels”), as he tried convincing Alina he needed his accounts for communication purposes. She decided to test Steven to see if he would lie, by questioning if he had been talking to any other girls on the interweb. After he of course denied any online canoodling, Alina revealed that she had masterminded the incriminating Mashas texts, and caught Steven lying yet again (Masha, Masha, Masha!). She told him sternly that he now has to delete his social media if he wants to skiddlypoop any time in the near future. 

Karmando:

All of the recent baby discussions have Kenny really missing his kids back home. He called ⅔ of his triplets for a heart to heart chat, where he cried and confessed just how homesick he has been. Kendoll is already a Glam-pa to his adorable grandson Cooper, but now one of his other triplets is multiplying, causing him to reflect on the distance. He explained that he sometimes feels very alone being in a different country (mostly because he doesn’t HA-Blow Es-PAN-Yoll). He’s unsure that Armando would ever want to move to the U.S. being that Hannah is still so young and all of her family is in Mexico. 
He finally sat down with Armando to let him in on how he’s been feeling. Armando of course got upset, hoping that Kenny’s kids wouldn’t resent him for causing their dad to make a run for the border. I laughed, I cried…feel good segment of the show. Next!

Ariela & Biniyam:

Ari is back home in Princeton, where she’s apparently already been for several weeks due to a delay in the surgery schedule for baby Avi. The distance seems to be causing major issues for Ari and Biniyam, as they are having ridiculous fights which result in Biniyam turning off his phone for long stretches of time. When he finally resurfaced on video chat, Ariela questioned his actions and threatened not to return to Ethiopia. She was furious that Biniyam seemed to be choosing to spend all of his alone time with his friends and at the club butt-bongoing instead of being glued to Skype. She double dog dared him to resist the urge to shut his phone off for the duration of her trip, and he openly accepted. 

Later we saw Biniyam explaining his side of the story, all while celebrating yet another interesting Ethiopian holiday, Meskel (I’m going to need to start marking all of these on the calendar. The one where they jump over fire, the one where they clap around fire, and the ones with throwing lemons are already on there). Bini’s friends came over post-celebration to keep the party going and discuss the status of he and Ari’s relationship. His friend “Freezer” started by asking why Ari was so mad all of the time, with all of the friends chiming in to claim she has a difficult personality. Biniyam feels that since having baby Avi, Ariela has become very jealous and possessive. It looks like things are getting even more tense in the previews for next week, as the two are seen having a heated fight via Facetime. 

Jenny & DeepSh*t:

I think I will entitle this portion, “If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen- you old hag”. 

And now for “Best supporting role in a reality series”, the award goes to…Mother Smitt! I personally would like to thank her for carrying this entire snoozefest of a season. 

This week Jenny accompanied her never-gonna-be-mother-in-law into the kitchen to learn how to make authentic Indian cuisine. The language barrier between the two just upped the slapstick factor, as Jenny smiled from under her big glasses while she tried in vain to really wow her critic. She was hoping her roti-making skills would help Mother Sometrick forget she was stealing her son’s youth. Of course the entire cooking class was nothing more than Mother SueMe laughing at Jenny’s lousy cooking abilities, and solidifying the fact that she doesn’t have what it takes to be the next Iron Chef-India. Jenny smiled her toothy grin thinking things were going well, since Mother Stringcheese seemed to be smiling and laughing the entire time (which of course was due to the fact that she was making fun of Jenny in Hindi… or maybe she just had gas. Hard to say).

Jenny served the joint effort meal on her ring stained coffee table to Somesheet and his father. Father Shmee asked for the full Jenny cooking report, and his wife didn’t hold back one bit. She described Jenny’s ineptitude and inability to cook, as Steamheat ruthlessly translated. Getting upset, Jenny felt the need to wipe her nose aggressively with a tissue, which she then proceeded to place on her dinner plate. Of course this was another “check minus” for Jenny’s report card, as Mother Sheepspit made her son translate the appropriate measures of disposing of a snotrag. (It’s like “The Princess Diaries”, but in India, and the princess is 1000 years old). The parents tried to explain to Jenny that though they were open-minded and accepting people, it was actually SOCIETY that wouldn’t accept her (of course they are also society…and SOCIETY also called Jenny an old hag during dinner). Mother Ovenmitt also questioned Jenny’s ability to handle being asked if she was Sumcreep’s mother or grandmother. Jenny defended herself by claiming “I’m not old enough to be his grandmother, just his mother!” (which on a scale of 1-10 received 10 facepalms). Stankmeat then revealed to everyone that his greatest dream would be that he and Jenny could live together with his parents under the same roof. This way he could still be “dominated”, but also have a clean kitchen and some decent dinner. 

After the dinner debacle, Snowsheet escorted his savage parents to their quarters where they threw more shade by bringing their own bed sheets. (Can you blame them? Did you SEE that kitchen?!?) He then met Jenny in their bedroom to discuss the evening. By now, Jenny had figured out why Mother Stewmeat was laughing, and claimed she could no longer be in the house with them. She crushed Socheap’s dreams of a communal living situation, making it known that Indian culture or not- she wants no part in being bossed around in her own home. The previews for next week show Jenny sick in bed, Mother Same-reek talking openly about her diarrhea, and Jenny having been questionably poisoned. Can’t wait!