90 Day The Other Way; S4, EP 3

Karmando:
Kenny headed off to retrieve Cassie, one of his triplet daughters, from the airport. They had a tearful reunion as he let her know his feelings about his move to Mexico. Truth be told, Kendoll is a bit homesick being so far away from his 4 kiddos and grandson. Cassidy also feels pretty sad about her dad relocating, worrying that her family has lost a bit of their closeness in his absence. (Can we move this family to the Hallmark Channel?? This is 90 Day, people…. If you don’t have a “secret”, or aren’t willing to tell your fiance that their breath stinks, or aren’t a Nigerian superstar, please move on). Also, more Truffles, Please/thanks.

Ellie & Victor:

Ellie is still worried sick about Victor, who has yet to communicate with her since his home town of Providencia was hit with a category 5 hurricane (Kenny, that would be a category “cinco” in Espanol). I will speed up her entire drawn out segment by saying that Victor, thankfully was okay, and managed to weather the storm with his “sister” on higher ground. It was estimated that 90% of the island was devastated by the hurricane, which should have been Ellie’s cue to “abort mission”. Nevertheless, she decided that trying to find Victor in the aftermath during a pandemic was the right move (Hopefully she won’t show up to find Victor on top of his ex-girlfriend, though he could always just claim he thought he needed to “move to higher ground” and misunderstood the assignment….). The rest of the episode consisted of watching Ellie strut through the airport, probably sticking her nose up at the Sbarros, as she journeyed on. Once she landed in Bogota, she flew on to the neighboring island of San Andres, where she waited for any sign of Victor (or as he’s referred to, “Baba”). She was thrilled to eventually receive a call from Victor, who was seemingly okay, despite the circumstances. 

Ariela & Biniyam:

Biniyam is feeling uneasy having his fiance’s ex husband staying over the house, for some odd reason. Ariela woke up that morning still feeling emotional from her heart to heart chat with Leandro about the end of their marriage. It seemed pretty clear that the two still had deep feelings for each other, even though they both claim to have moved on. Ari admitted that she always thought they would end up together, but Leandro reminded her that the whole “getting pregnant by someone else” thing kind of put a damper on that idea. They probably talked about other things, but I couldn’t hear over Ari’s dayglo nails….
Next up, Biniyam took Leandro to the gym to “wrestle”, or at least get out a little frustration by pinning him to the floor. After choking him out for a minute or two, Biniyam let Leandro catch his breath so he could answer a few questions about he and Ari’s relationship. He wanted to know if Leandro had any ulterior motives for making the voyage to Ethiopia. Biniyam also made sure to take this time to ask Leandro if any funny business went down between him and Ariela while they were staying together in New Jersey….and she was 5 months pregnant. Leandro reassured Bini that he didn’t have to worry, while stealthily avoiding answering the question. 
As if the awkwardness at the gym wasn’t enough, the three amigos set off to have a nice dinner out. Biniyam decided to even the playing field by inviting his ex-girlfriend /star of the butt-bongos Tsion to crash the three way dinner. Tsion looked absolutely stunning, as she completely showed up Ari in their similarly colored red dresses. Ariela took the opportunity to ask Tsion the truth about her and Bini’s relationship and breakup. Tsion revealed the shady details of their past, which included Biniyam essentially ghosting her when he met his ex wife, who he possibly cheated on her with. She admitted to being shocked when hearing that Biniyam had married this other woman so fast, and it caused them to have a falling out for a bit of time. Apparently they must have made up for the sake of the show, and were somehow able to be friends. Ariela was very concerned when hearing about Bini’s unfaithfulness and lies in the past, as she felt she had heard a familiar story from him over the course of their relationship. I always wondered what Ari and Bini had in common and it’s finally clear; They both ended their previous relationships like total jerks. That’s it. That’s the glue.

Corey & Evilone:

Evelin and her sisters were looking at dresses online for the big wedding, when Corey busted in with a big surprise. He schlepped in a garment bag from David’s Bridal, which is exactly the recipe to get a party started. Evilone and her minions stared blankly as Corey unveiled the contents of the bag, only to reveal his sister’s white halter dress she wore to the prom. Corey was hoping to convince his fiance to “Say yes to the prom dress”, but no such luck. Instead, he only intensified Evelin’s sisters’ hatred for him, and luckily he still hasn’t learned much Spanish. Corey explained the motives for bringing the second hand dress were to cut corners, as he now has to pay for the extravagant “My Big Fat Ecuadorian Wedding”.                                                                                                   
Since the prom dress was a bust, Evilone and her evil sisters went to a local seamstress’s house to find a more suitable option. Of course Evelin went for the sleazy looking dress with the 80’s arm bands, as she and her sisters discussed her hesitation about getting married in it. After a mimosa or dos, Evelin decided to tell her sisters about Corey’s Peruvian vacation Bae, just in case they needed any more reason to dislike him. She further shook things up when she revealed that she and Corey had in fact already tied the knot in secret the year before. Of course they ended the scene on this cliff hanger, but I’m even more confused as to how they got married when they can’t even stand each other.

Steven & Alina:

With the big move to Turkey growing near, Alina is still a little worried about Steven’s level of dedication to her and their relationship. She decided to meet up with her friend Masha to discuss a covert operation, where Masha would tempt Steven online as a sort of “Sexy Decoy” from the Maury show. The two girls sat together, writing the perfect script to really try and tempt Steven in a true test of loyalty.
In the meantime, Steven packed his stuff and prepared to leave his parents’ house for his flight to Turkey. He was seen off by his mom, Stepdad and hipster brother, who all described Steven as someone who doesn’t generally play by the rules. I just feel bad for the people who had to sit near him on the plane, as the captain may have turned on his “fasten seatbelt” sign,which will keep Steven from excusing himself if he has to pass gas. (Then again, he’s not great at following rules….) Hopefully he doesn’t keep his snack tray in an upright position when he sees Masha’s profile pic. 

Jenny & Some-itch:

In a last ditch effort to stay in India with her beloved Mike Jones, Jenny went over to the local temple to audition to play the part of a Hare Kirshna devotee (or “Harry Krishner”, as my mother would say in her thick Queens accent, making it sound like some kid who got wedgies in gym class). Jenny sat down with the ladies of Krishna who were gracious enough to teach her how to hold the prayer beads and chant like a professional (although I’m assuming they had no intentions of adding her to the “Babes of Krishna” calendar). Jenny seemed to genuinely enjoy the exercise, despite the fact that she was originally trying to exploit the religion by using it to stay in the country with her favorite manchild. She explained her unique dilemma to the Kirshna gals, who were very supportive and encouraging of Jenny’s perseverance (Who are we kidding… they’ve probably seen the show and just agreed so they didn’t have to listen to her cry about it. Ain’t nobody got time for that.). 

After prayer time with the ladies, Jenny had a meeting with the priest, where she again plead her case. The priest wasn’t really understanding the sham she was trying to pull, and only offered her his humble priestly advice (while also offering to give her 10% off if the couple got married in the Krishna temple and chose the “Extra Chanty” package, which ya know sets most people back an extra couple of Krishnas.) Since the priest wasn’t getting the hint, Jenny was a bit more blunt, explaining that she was looking to do the bare minimum to get him to sign her permission slip for immigration so she could stay in India and hare Sueme’s krishna. Once the priest realized what she meant, he quickly let her know that becoming a devotee could take many years and total dedication (although probably less years and dedication than getting Smitt to marry her. I guess those credits don’t transfer over). Feeling defeated, she exited the temple to meet up with a barefoot Sueme, who was smirking as he heard the bad news. Can’t wait to see the scheme these two hatch for immigration next week!