The Other Way; S4, EP 1

Ellie & Victor:

I am happy to report that we have some new blood this season! Cue Ellie, a 45 year old restaurateur from Seattle. When she’s not boinging around town with her tightly wound curls, she’s busy slinging pizza at her very own restaurant. Ellie talked about her upbringing in a small town, and her excitement when she finally escaped to the big city of Seattle (where she hopefully did not run into Natalie at some kind of curl convention). At 28 years old Ellie was happily married to a man she had met at work, who was originally from Atlanta. Unfortunately during a trip to visit his family, she awoke to find him dead, later getting clarification from a toxicology report that he had overdosed on prescription pain pills. Needless to say it took a long time to heal from the trauma, which caused her to put love on the backburner of the pizza oven. 
Years later, while traveling on a solo trip to Columbia, she decided to make a fateful detour to the island of Providencia (which is another new place I had to look up. See? 90 Day IS educational!) It was there that she met Victor, a 38 year old Rasta mon who was living his best life as one of those rasta bananas you can win at the carnival. She claimed that Victor made her the best pina colada she had ever had in her life, thus sparking their romance. Their whirlwind relationship began from there, with the couple later deciding that Victor should move to the U.S. via everyone’s favorite- the K1 Visa. Unfortunately life handed Victor a bad Pina colada, since his Visa interview date was on the exact day of the U.S. shut down due to the pandemic. After months of being apart, Ellie decided she was going to unload all of her worldly possessions to deliver herself to Providencia, hot and ready, in 40 minutes or less. 
She decided to leave her precious restaurant in the hands of her coworker (aka Kip from Napoleon Dynamite) who seemed equally as committed to sauce and cheese as she is. Even though pizza is her passion, she is willing to give everything up to be with the mon of her dreams. 

Back at her place, Ellie was busy dehydrating her favorite pizza toppings to bring along to her new home when her friend Hiromi came over to help pack. Hiromi was quick to voice her concerns about Ellie’s current life choices, especially given Victor’s shady track record. As it should turn out, only a mere 7 months ago Ellie received a text message from a random girl who claimed to be Victor’s current girlfriend. Victor tried to deny the relationship at first, but finally came clean, though downplaying the intensity of the relationship and mostly blaming this other woman. He continued to try and work things out with Ellie, apologizing profusely and working hard to reel her back in. Hiromi, however, wasn’t buying it, begging her friend to think about all of the pizza she would be missing out on.

Apparently a week after filming began, Providencia was hit with a very powerful hurricane that devastated the island. Hopefully Victor and his mystery girlfriend were both okay… it should be interesting to see what happens with this couple going forward. 

Corey & Evil-one:
Corey has thickened up since we last saw him on the previous seasons of The Other Way. The couple rehashed their relationship, sticking to all of the lovey dovey details instead of showcasing all of the coldhearted comments Evilone had made in the past. Corey explained once again how smitten he had been with Evelin upon meeting her in Ecuador, hoping he could import her to his native home in Washington, where he lived in the woods on his family’s property. Evelin, the sea witch, admitted that the woodsy thing wasn’t her style, giving Corey the ultimatum that he had to move to Engabo, Ecuador if he wanted to be graced with her presence. He sold everything and moved, with the shared dream that they would co own a beachside bar next to her family’s restaurant. The two were engaged (though reluctantly, on Evilone’s part), and were living the Engabo dream. Corey, however, struggled to learn the language and couldn’t seem to get used to living without his creature comforts (such as rooms with doors and walls, as well as A.C.), and his whining got old, fast. Evelin decided they should take a break, which sent Corey feeling lost, and resulted in him booking a random plane ticket to Peru. After a month of being away, he decided to return to Ecuador to collect his things when the pandemic hit, leaving him no choice but to quarantine with his fickle fiance. They seemed to actually be getting along, despite the fact that Evelin found out that Corey was riding more than just waves while soul searching in Peru. Apparently he had been seeing a girl named Jenny, who was 62, originally from Palm Springs, and had to surf with her glasses held up on a sports band so they didn’t slip down on her nose every 3 seconds (oh wait, I’m confusing storylines here). In any case, Evelin was upset but didn’t seem to mind too much (probably because of all of her own cheating scandals last season). Despite his little escapade, the couple claimed to be more in love than ever, and even set a date for their wedding in 5 months. 

Corey accompanied Evilone to her parent’s house for family dinner to let them know the big news about setting a wedding date. He struggled to communicate with his 3 Spanish words he had manged to learn, as Evelyn took the lead telling her family about the wedding. Most of the Family Evelin seemed excited  with the exception of Sister Lesly, who knows a little bit about Corey’s Peruvian good time getaway. Corey did claim to have more sordid details from his trip that he neglected to tell his betrothed, which I’m guessing will be the focus of this season’s storyline.
Can’t say I’m glad to see them back, but it could be worse. See below.

Jenny & Smee:

So we’re still doing the whole Jenny/Schmee thing? REALLY?
Uuuuuuuuuuggggggghh I’m sorry if this is “new to you”, but for us 90 Day “lifers”, enough is enough. To summarize in the shortest way possible; Many moons ago in a land far away, Sumit (then in his 20’s) was working at a call center under his alter ego “Mike Jones”. During one if his routine calls trying to sell extended car warranties, he met Jenny, 30 years his senior. The two began talking regularly, and he even sent fake photos of a male model to lure her in. Eventually he fessed up that he was actually Sumit from India, which didn’t seem to deter the already smitten Jenny. She flew to India so they could meet, staying in his parents’ house. The parents Sumit were under the impression that Jenny was an internet friend doing some kind of mid-life crisis “Eat Pray Love” ordeal, and were furious to find out the two were actually in a relationship. Even though they forbid him from seeing Jenny, the two star crossed lovers continued with Jenny moving to India, thinking they would get married upon her arrival. Once there, she discovered that she was a homewrecker, as Submit was actually MARRIED, via arranged marriage by his parents (another thing he conveniently forgot to mention)  She left in tears, only to return last season after Sumit begged his parents to pay for his very messy and expensive divorce. Most of their story consists of the parents Sumit yelling at Jenny for being old, while Sumit does everything possible to avoid marrying her (though Mike Jones did give her a crummy “promise ring” last season).

Jenny seemed to be the only one who was happy about the lockdown, as she was able to stay longer in India on her expired tourist Visa. Sumitch took her to an astrologist/family friend to have her chart read, which revealed that the couple should wait longer to get married. Other than wanting to hold the title of “Mrs.SueMe”, Jenny was anxious to get married so she would be able to stay in the country indefinitely instead of having to go back to the U.S. every few months. She attempted to extend tourist Visa, but unfortunately received an email saying all extensions had been closed (which ironically was sent from the email address MikeJones@Nevergunnamarryyou.com). To further avoid marrying his old lady, Smeet came up with the idea of traveling to Nepal for a few months where they could stay together, until Jenny would be eligible to apply for another tourist Visa. Unfortunately Summit also lost his passport, which further complicated the entire situation. Jenny was fed up and about to send Stewmeat to timeout, as she screamed and flipped over a plastic lawn chair, which hopefully did not injure any of the well endowed indigenous monkeys (Honestly, the well endowed indigenous monkeys were the most interesting part of this story.)

Ariela & BiniBini-yumyum (yes, please sing that to the tune of the Selena song):

Ari and Biniyam have returned from last season, where we saw the Princeton Princess move to Ethiopia to raise the couple’s baby. After reviewing their previous season, they showed their new and improved living situation, which included a live-in nanny (thanks, Mom & Dad for footing the bill). Ariela sat in traditional Ethiopian garb with her signature horrible hairstyles as she and Biniyam discussed all of the trials and tribulations that 2020 had brought. Bini had taken a huge financial hit from the pandemic, as he had to social distance himself from playing butt bongos, as well as his other 57 jobs. He did however manage to hide from Ariela and the baby by hanging out at Sojaboy Studios, where he records his chart topping hit, “Dancey Cool”. Feeling a bit isolated, Ariela turned to her best friend, who happens to be her ex husband, Leandro. She invited him to come visit her in Ethiopia, trying to pretend this wouldn’t be weird to everyone else. Ari explained that she and her ex-husband ended their marriage years ago, due to his intense medical school schedule and her need to travel, though they remained best friends. Biniyam is feeling jealous about his impending house guest, and rightfully so, since Leandro has been consoling Ari while Bini spends his nights out “dirty dancing”. 

Biniyam’s sisters came over to see baby Avi, and get into a little bit of drama over Ari’s visitor. Bini’s sister Wish dismissed this untraditional friendship as nothing more than “white people sh*t”, while his other sister claimed to have some dirt on Ari from her most recent trip home to New Jersey. The nosy sisters told Biniyam that Leandro had slept over Ari’s place while she had been stateside, which was news to him. Hopefully the “positive gangster” makes an appearance at some point. She was an enjoyable character last go around.

Steven &  Alina

I’m all sitting here like “We totally need new couples” and then they gave us Steven….
Steven is an awkward 25 year old Mormon guy from Salt Lake City with horrible hair. His faith led him on a mission trip to Eastern Europe where he learned a lot about the culture and even picked up a bit of Russian. Since they stopped selling “Muzzy”, he decided to hit up a language learning website to really hone his Russian skills, where he met Alina. The two began chatting and were immediately interested in each other as more than just study buddies, despite Alina being unsure about his religion. Steven eventually flew over to meet Alina, who brought her mom as their third wheel to ensure her safety. Of course in all of the flashback photos, Steven looked much more attractive with his shorter hair, so maybe his flowing coif is a product of 2020.

Steven and Alina decided to move to Turkey to be together, since it was neutral ground for both of their citizenships. His family decided to throw him an outdoor goodbye party, where they described him as quite the individualist (as well as flatulent). He hopes that Alina will make the decision to accept his Mormon fate, but has failed to tell her that he has sinned (though clearly she can see his hair…). I feel like I should have been more specific when asking for new couples, such as “Dear TLC, I would like to see a woman from Florida fly to Morocco to meet her fiance who is only 55% attracted to her, while she asks to kiss his shoulder and is brutally turned down”. Is it too much to ask for?!