Happily Ever After; S6, EP 15

Big Mike, a Hooker & her incontinent friend:
Natalie entered the Squim residence one final time to retrieve her belongings so she could head off to her new life with Juliana. Mike was looking as down in the dumps as ever, as he sat at the kitchen table watching Natalie give Lucky the rat a much better greeting than he has ever received. After whispering sweet nothings to the rat and letting him crawl through her hair (which made him feel quite at home), Natalie announced to Mike that she was going to stay with her new ladyfriend indefinitely. Mike seemed hurt but mostly annoyed that Natalie couldn’t even be normal for this conversation, as he again tried to convince himself that this could possibly work somehow if they both put in more effort.( Also, breaking up with someone while staring blankly and petting a rat is the most Natalie thing I’ve ever seen. She out-Natalied herself on this one!)
After breaking the news, she went into the bedroom to pack her belongings as Mike sat at the kitchen table taking shots of whiskey (I hope everyone noted the centerpiece of decorative wheat in the vase on the kitchen table.… it really tied the room together). 

She had one final conversation with the big guy in the kitchen telling him she loved him but didn’t feel “heard” in their marriage. Natalie rolled her luggage from Marshalls out of the house one final time, leaving behind a trail of butterfly wall decals for Mike to remember her by. They both had their own fun rhymes when talking about the break up, with Mike saying (a personal favorite phrase) “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya”, and Natalie responding with “sometimes you can’t talk, you just have to walk”. Juliana was parked in the driveway for so long waiting for Natalie, that she had a bathroom emergency. Instead of knocking on Uncle Bo’s shanty, she decided it wouldn’t be weird at all to ask the Big Guy if she could utilize his facilities, as he sulked in the kitchen. (I’d be nervous she was going to do an upper decker, put my toothbrush in the toilet, or steal a strand of hair from my comb so she could put one of her spells on me). Juliana (who did not audibly wash her hands) tried to console Mike awkwardly, touching his arm and even pulling him in for one of the most uncomfortable hugs ever to be recorded, even offering that Mike could call her if he needed to talk. (Clearly that headband must be cutting off the oxygen to her brain…)
After relieving herself of both urine and guilt, she got back into the car with Natalie, ready to start their new life together Laverne and Shirley style; Schlemiel/Schlimazel!
As the girls rode off into the misty Squim night, Mike was left alone, petting his warm kitty/soft kitty. It was unclear which party took custody of the rat, though I’m fairly certain Natalie may have smuggled him out in her boingy hair.

Elizabeth & Undrrrrrei:

It was finally time for Chuck’s big BBQ aka The Family Showdown;Take 3000. Chuck even made sure to make the BBQ “adults only” (my guess is because he knew it was going to be a bloodbath, not because he planned to discuss the family OnlyFans business). Libby headed to the soiree wearing a leopard print turtleneck with some gold turd-shaped earrings, which really complimented Undrrrrei’s lounge shirt with the all over print of abstract tigers.(I felt like their jungle theme gave off a “Welcome to the jungle, we’ve got fun ‘n games” passive aggressive feeling. They were ready for a rumble.)
Becky and Husband Becky showed up next, making awkward small talk while loitering around the patio, afraid to get too comfortable. Chuck tried pretending everything as A-Okay, claiming he called for this shindig in the name of “fun” only. Jen was the next to arrive, sidling up to Becky, as she confronted Chuck about his lack of communication with her in recent months. Both sisters tried to explain to Chuckwagon that he’s been distancing himself from them and discluding them from the family business. As if things weren’t already getting uncomfortable, cue Charlie and his wife, Megan, coming in hot. Charlie walked right onto the patio making stupid comments, which of course triggered Undrrrrei, causing his animal print shirt to bring out the tiger within. Charlie wasted no time getting right up in Undrrrrei’s face, which resulted in him pinning Charlie to the ground as the rest of the Pottheads rallied around screaming and trying to break things up. Chuckie seemed shocked that this whole scenario went South fast, as he cried audibly into the lonely bowl of baked beans on the table. 
Unddddrei couldn’t resist lunging for Charlie, who was flamboyantly spouting stupid comments and egging him on. His wife, Megan, tried to intervene, which only sparked Libby to join in the brawl, getting scratched in the process. It’s a shame to see these formerly friendly poolside breastfeeding besties turn enemies over one scratch by a powder gel. Undrrrrrei paced around in a fit of rage, with his tiger shirt completely flapping open….(I blame cheap buttons from Amazon, and would leave the review as “Wore this shirt once to a bbq, buttons came off during a 5 minute fight with Beavis. Would not recommend). 
Becky and Husband Becky sort of sided with Libby and Undrrrei, though they acknowledged Undrrrrei’s inability to remove himself from the situation.Thankfully there was a bouncer handy, who escorted Undrrrrrrrei outside, all while Charlie screamed in Chuck’s face. Libby tried to counsel her Moldy maniac outside, trying to get him to cool off and resist the urge to go after the very punchable Charlie. The only family member that made sense was Husband Becky, who summed things up by saying “they’re both idiots”. Libby went inside to retrieve her purse, while screaming at Charlie as she walked through Chuck Manor. Megan and Charlie lingered behind, pointing and yelling at UpChuck, who claimed to have no responsibility in arranging the powder keg event. Unfortunately it’s going to take a bit more than beans and brots to get these brats to come together. After Charlie and Megan sped off to go makeout under the bleachers where they met in high school, Libby and Undrrrrei went into the house one more time to try and drive home the point that this was all Charlie’s fault, and “Chundrrrrei Industries” will still be going full steam ahead. Best. BBQ. Ever. 
(P.s…… Do we think this was really all a scheme to be able to flip Chuck’s house and list it “As seen on tv during the Chundrrrreei fight scene”?? Also, why did no one end up in the pool??”

Kalani & Asuelu:

Mother Kalani was consoling the couple in the wake of the aftermath from last week’s fight. Asuelu was hurt by his mother’s actions, but he still wanted to have a relationship with her in some capacity. He did decide to be done with his ultimate fighting champion sister Tammy (though if she’s looking for a new family, Chuck may be accepting new members, especially ones who are skilled in the art of poolside combat). As if things weren’t tough enough, Mother Kalani brought up the fact that she and Low were looking to sell their house in Utah and move closer to California. This of course would leave Kalani, Asuelu & family without a free place to stay or free childcare. (I guess we were supposed to forget that K&A were “house hunting” in the first 2 episodes? Weren’t they planning on getting their own place anyway?)
Asuelu needed to let off a little steam, so he decided to visit a “smash lab” with his fellow Sam-Wan friend Tui. They basically wore coveralls and recreated the famous copy machine scene from “Office Space”, as they discussed Asuelu’s current struggles. After hearing the family woes and current housing dilemma, Tui made the suggestion that Asuelu take Kalani and the kids back to their homeland, where life is easier and a lot cheaper. 
Later on, Kalani and Asuelu managed to sneak in a little alone time playing volleyball at a nearby park. After the friendly competition, they sat down to have a serious talk about Tui’s idea of moving back to Samwa. Asuelu thought it would be a good way for the kids to connect with their roots, which unfortunately included being near Mama Asuelu as well. Though Kalani agreed to spend an extended period of time in their joint homeland, she was not about to permanently move. 

Tiffany & Ronald Ma’Boy:

The fighting continued this week, this time in the hotel lobby where Tiffany had run off after last week’s fight outside of the therapist’s office. Ronald tried following Tiffany to get her to come back to the blue dungeon, but she refused, deciding it would be better to stay at the hotel. She promptly changed her mind and took a cab back to the house (which was a waste of money, something she would have definitely called Ronald out for doing). She seemed to only want to go back to the apartment to smugly tell Ronald off (or maybe just to bask in the ambiance of the $800 worth of Christmas decorations). Ronald pulled the mattress out of the dungeon so he could sleep separately from his angry wife, as the camera panned to his computer screen which displayed 4 views of a closed circuit tv (just another red flag…nothing to see here, kids!).
He claimed that if Tiffany left at this point, he would fight her for the kids, and try to keep them at their rightful home in Pride Rock. (Unless there was a poopy diaper….)
The next morning Ronald tried to skim over their issues, making the couple coffee in their matching personalized mugs from Vistaprint. Tiffany jumped right back into talking about all of their problems, with Ronald still refusing to concede his points. They spent the rest of the segment arguing, each trying to control the other, as Ronald vaped angrily while Tiffany sat on the couch with the led uplighting. Tiffany began packing her things, as she felt there was no hope for the marriage. We have basically watched 14 episodes of these people fighting. 

Yara & BonJovi:

Patron Saint Gwen was checking in on Yara and was disappointed to hear about Jovi’s horrible “date night” idea. She questioned Jovi’s thought process of bringing his wife to a strip club, citing that her son may not be ready for his new married life. Apparently Jovi had spent the night in a separate hotel room after he and Yara had gotten back and continued to fight. He rejoined his family the next morning, unapologetically, and was defending the fact that he was just trying to enjoy his vacation. Gwen tried to talk some sense into him, with no luck, as she took the baby yet again so the couple could be alone to argue.
Yara decided to take a stroll to the beach to resume their fighting. Ultimately, they both agreed they wanted to make things work, especially for baby Mylah, but weren’t sure if each of them would be able to compromise. Looks like Yara and BonJovi are half way there… livin’ on a prayer.

Angela & Michael:

Angela and Skyla headed over to a fertility clinic to give the “toting” idea one final try. Skyla of course refused to donate any of her eggs in the name of creating baby Mangela, though Angela seemed to still believe she could be convinced. The doctor explained all of the risks and complications of this far-fetched dead storyline, including but not limited to; 1.Destroying her new fabulous Meemaw bod 2. Diabetes, high blood pressure, and other medical complications and 3.Costing $100k (Though I hear Chuck likes to give this amount of money away, so just hit him up if you need help, Ang. You could totally beat up Charlie if he gets mad about it.) In addition to all of the risks for Angela’s totability, Skyla would also be at risk of some medical issues if she were to in fact lose her mind and volunteer to Leggo my eggo.Angela finally admitted this was not in the cards (thankfully she didn’t need her personal psychic to prove it), but dreaded telling Michael “No” once and for all, knowing it could be the end of her marriage.