Love After Lockup; S4, EP 5

Rachel & Doug:

The couple woke up together in their marital bed, looking forward to Doug’s big reunion with Douggie Jr. Doug Sr had conceived his namesake at the age of 15, and was shortly thereafter incarcerated for most of his son’s life. Though Douggie Jr had previously threatened to punch his dear old dad upon seeing him, he went in for an emotional hug instead. This kid is my new favorite cast member, and has the absolute best snarky one liners. Rachel’s mom got the opportunity to meet her new son in law for the first time, however, she seemed a bit skeptical. Doug was brazen, making sure to let Mother Rachel know he’s been on a mission to give her a new grandchild. Rachel’s mother described meeting Doug as a “sick” feeling, as he thinks he’s using her daughter for more than just the 4 B’s. Back at the house, Doug gave Rachel a tutorial on her bologna sandwich making skills, including the importance of microwaving the deli meat to perfection. 
The newly formed family of three went out for dinner, with Doug noticeably taking a little time to adjust to life on the outside. Douggie Jr didn’t miss a beat, asking his dad how many times he dropped the soap, calling him a weirdo & filthy womanizer, and other average dinner table conversation. Douggie Jr is a hero. 

Nicolle & Daonte:

Daonte picked Nicolle up from her mother’s house and they headed back to he and Nicolle Jr’s lovenest. Daonte pulled out all the stops for Nicolle’s first visit; There were candles, a bottle of wine, and rose petals tossed about the apartment. To really get Nicolle in the mood, he showed her the bed full of presents he had gotten her (which unfortunately didn’t contain a bottle of toner for that brassy mess on the top of her head). Nicolle offered to try on some of the lingerie he had gotten for her, as long as he promised not to touch. She emerged from the bedroom in a little sheer leopard number, with her frosty silver eyeshadow gleaming against her fake tanner. Daonte got hot and bothered as she gave him a 0.5 second lap dance, which concluded with her promising to stay celebate until he bought her a boob job. 
The next day, Daonte brought Nicolle to the salon to get some weave that will match her Kraft Singles colored hair. She was met there by her ex cell mate, as the laughed about all of the money and gifts Nicolle was able to squeeze out of her loverboy while she was in the slammer. Nicolle revealed that although she had her chastity belt locked tight for Daonte, she had been messing around with one lucky lady in prison, Tia. I can’t tell if this is going to be a repeat of the Brittany/Amanda or Lindsey/Terrible situation, because we’ve already done this plot. Nevertheless, these two have yet to disappoint. 

Courtney & Josh:

Josh, who always sounds like he’s going to cry for some reason, is sitting on the couch with Courtney and their 42 dogs, getting ready to call his Grandmother. Josh and his grandmother, who raised him, had recently gone through a rough patch, when he decided to write her a letter blaming her for everything bad that had ever happened to him. He’s hoping to mend things with her now that he’s on the outside with the help of his pickle-pal, who has been hanging out with granny on her own.
The next day Josh and Courtney headed over to Grandma’s house looking like little red riding hood in an Ed Hardy shirt. They had a heart to heart talk with Mama Rose, mending the wounds of the past. Josh expressed his interest in recreating he and Courtney’s romantic wedding, but this time having both of them in attendance instead of their stunt doubles. Courtney is excited about a bright future with Josh in which they have acres of land for their chickens and bees…. And this is where I exit stage left. I was into the pickle costume, but MAN do i hate bees!!

Anissa & Jeff:

Anissa’s man friend helped her get all gussied up, putting in her hot rollers from 1987, fake lashes, and combing up her grandpa brows with a toothbrush. For some reason, she thought it best to have her friend Kyle accompany her for Jeff’s pickup despite the fact that he thinks this entire thing is a terrible idea. Anissa strutted with her cowboy walk across the bus depot, holding up her hand made “Welcome Home Jeff”, glitter sign, demonstrating her crafty side. She paced nervously as the passengers got off of the bus, devastated when she didn’t see Jeff in the crowd. After she began to lose hope, Jeff magically appeared, disheveled and toothless- but live in the flesh. He confessed to the cameras that the first two times he was supposed to come home to Anissa, he was just hustling her. The third time seemed to be a charm for Jeff, and he claims to be committed to Anissa for his life’s sentence. Jeff seemed put off by Anissa’s friend,Kyle, unappreciative of his comments and contribution to their post prison car ride to the halfway house. Or maybe the awful faces he was making are just his regular awful face… 

Stanley & Lisa:

Stan is already disappointed about Lisa’s lack of affection from the point of pickup to her homecoming. He tried to make her comfortable in her own bedroom so she doesn’t have to endure his NIGHT TERRORS, (because just when you thought the straight jacket made Stan weird, he reveals he has NIGHT TERRORS. Does he chase people around, screaming in his sleep in a straight jacket????? So. Many. Questions.)
Stan tried to unwind with a glass of vino, while Lisa paced around the house in her hat/wig combo, struggling with Stan’s indifference to her issues with her son. She eventually left the house with a wad of cash, unwilling to deal with a drunken belligerent Stan. Stanley didn’t seem to be too mad, as his fell over sideways and got ready for a fun night of terror all by his lonesome.