Love After Lockup; S4, EP 3

Courtney & Josh:

Courtney and Josh lay in bed discussing the awesomeness of their first romantic encounter. Josh describes his new wife as a “nerd in the streets, and freak in the…..bed” (though I’m sure that was supposed to be another word that rhymed…didn’t Courtney say he wrote poetry??). The couple hit the kitchen to enjoy their first home cooked meal together as husband and wife. Courtney decided to make the newly freed man a big steak, but judged him heavily for preferring his meat “well done”, all while wearing some Ed Hardy looking rhinestoned number from 2002. All 65 of their dogs were a little less judgy, as they circled the dinner table hoping for whatever doneness of meat happened to fall. 
Josh was super appreciative of Courtney’s commitment to their “empire”, especially because she lost her career as a correctional officer due to their relationship. Courtney explained how much she values her relationship with Josh, who she felt instantly connected to and even was able to open up about her childhood traumas. While dining amongst the dog hair, Josh asked if they could set some short term goals. Courtney, who’s mind was still in the correctional realm, said she’d like to “not kill each other”, while Josh was thinking something along the lines of pursuing a career in the landscaping arts. Seems like these lovebirds are off to a great start. 

Britney & Ray:
Britney, who is a card carrying member of the upper middle class, is heading over to her jailbird boyfriend’s family’s house for a little meet and greet before the release day. Britney assumed Ray was from the wrong side of the tracks, given his criminal situation, but was shocked to see that his parents’ house seemed to be that of her same upper middle class status. Britney greeted Ray’s family, making sure to distribute her custom “You Belong Here, Welcome home, Ray” t-shirts she had someone make on Etsy. The whole group headed to the release site together, looking like they just came from a family reunion (which, they kind of did). 
The white prison van pulled up to the parking lot as the family’s anticipation grew. Britney spotted Ray getting out of the van, but was devastated when he didn’t seem to acknowledge her, and there seemed to be an issue with his release. Clearly the officer’s didnt read the t-shirts, because Ray belonged “here” instead of back in the prison van. How un-upper-middle-class of them. 

Rachel & Doug:
Rachel is prepping for Josh’s release day, making sure to stock her cooler full of only 2 of the 4 B’s (Beer and Bologna). On the way to the meet site, Rachel called Douggiebear to discuss the details of his parole. He was in one of his “cranky” grizzly Douggiebear moods, unhappy with the terms of his probation and basically wanting to give himself the Kate Plus 8 haircut and “speak to the manager”.
The next morning, Rachel and her bologna forged onwards towards the site of Doug’s release. She made sure to wear the outfit Doug had requested (conservative top and skirt combination, sans underoos). Though she was excited, Rachel did seem to have some nervousness about how things may go, since she was after all picking up her felon husband who she’d never seen outside of prison walls.  
She waited patiently in her Sunday best, and was delighted to see all 6’4” of Doug head out of the doors. The couple seemed overjoyed hugging each other in the free world, with Rachel wrapping her legs around his waist, as he picked her up and whispered sweet nothings in her ear, such as “I’m getting a boner”. 
Douglas explained his criminal past to the cameras, blaming his nefarious start on being from a large, lower income family (not upper middle class like Britney). He was arrested for the first time at 17 years old on burglary charges, and then later sent back to jail for shooting someone (though he claimed he didn’t do it). Rachel and Doug celebrated their reunion with a car picnic, by opening the hatchback and having “just the tip” of the shlong of bologna. 
It was nice to see Rachel try to help Doug get acclimated to life on the outside, by slipping into her best prison accent, ala Sara of “Michael and Sara”, Season 1.
Besides the babe and bologna, Doug seemed equally as thrilled with getting to use a cell phone and try out all of the new social media apps he had missed out on. As Rachel drove to the hotel, Doug attempted to order tattoos off of Amazon, and it seems as though she’s going to have to password protect her phone from now on (Just don’t make the password “bologna”). 

Stanley & Lisa:
Stanley greeted his visiting friend at his front door while holding an armful of mannequin heads; Nothing to see here! His friend, Dash, came inside to try and talk some sense into old Stan in regards to his prison gal, Lisa. Stanley called Lisa on speakerphone, rudely interrupting her  her bible studies, to discuss his excitement for her release. Another new fact we learned about Lisa this week aside from the fact that she comes from a family of criminals, is that she is unsure of her current marital status, and may even be married to two men. Stan’s friend pointed out the obvious red flags, hoping that his buddy can turn up his hearing aids to pay attention, but Stanley is still smitten. 
The next day, he loaded up the three wig options on the mannequin heads and strapped them safely in the backset, as he set out to meet Lisa. Being somewhat of a hair connoisseur himself, he felt bringing the wigs would be a comforting gesture, as Lisa claimed to “look like a boy” after having her hair ripped out during a prison fight. We saw him waiting eagerly in the parking lot, only to be officially reunited in the previews for next week. Can’t wait!

Daonte & Nicolle:
Daonte is smiling ear to ear as he begins the long drive home with his lady love, Nicolle. He wasted no time showering Nicolle with gifts he had brought, including a wad of $1000 cash (which she shoved into her bra), lingerie, and brand new clothes. Nicolle asked Daonte to hold her cashwad from her bra, as she teased him by changing into her civilian clothes in the front seat as he drove. Not being creepy or anything, Daonte nonchalantly sniffed the money, as it was as close as he was going to get to Nicolle’s bra. While he drove, she had asked that he bring her to her mother’s house, since she was feeling anxious and overwhelmed, claiming not to have been touched in the past 4 years of her incarceration. Daonte seemed crushed that he was going to have to spend another romantic evening with “Little Nicolle” (fresh from the dishwasher) instead of the life sized version (fresh from the can), but was very understanding of her feelings. Nicolle didn’t even want to introduce him to her mother just yet, asking to be dropped off on the corner and claiming that she would reconnect with him another day. Once reunited and settled at her mom’s house, she was seen texting a mysterious number trying to make plans to meet up. Though Nicolle seemed to appreciate Daonte and his cash wads, she seems to be wanting to enjoy her newfound freedom as well.

Have I mentioned how much I love this show?! Because it’s all true.