Happily Ever After; S6, EP 6

This recap is dedicated to Trish’s sun bonnet, which is breathing life into this otherwise slow- going season thus far.

Angela & Michael (well, sometimes):
Ang is still recovering from her surgery in her L.A. hotel room wearing adorable “best friends” matching shirts with Sissy JoJo, the best friend and nurse a gal could ask for. Angela is upset with the way Michael reacted on Facetime at the doctor’s office last week, feeling like he wasn’t being supportive and only mourning the loss of his favorite play toys. She may have been extra annoyed because she was hangry, as she was struggling to stick with her healthy liquid post surgery diet. She used her walker to head over to a bougie juice bar in L.A., trying to be open minded about drinking blended vegetables. Of course she hated the veggie blend, claiming she could go full blown Popeye and just eat spinach out of a can if she wanted to. She did eventually find a smoothie flavor she could tolerate, and was seemingly on the path to wellness. She then called Michael via Facetime (Who I’m fairly convinced just keeps getting woken up at all hours of the night for all of Angela’s calls) and expressed her disappointment with his ability to support her through her surgery. He claimed to of course be concerned with her well being, which we experienced first hand, as he was disgusted watching her pull out a pack of cigarettes that she felt she earned, since she was a good girl and drank her breakfast.  Angela then dropped the bomb that she was having another consultation to discuss now having a face lift. She claimed to be self conscious about her turkey gobble neck, even though Michael likes to play with that as well. Michael is so mach angry about Angela trying to rid her body of all of his favorite play toys, that he hung up. He later on peddled back his big reaction to the facelift idea, claiming she was perfect the way she was, gobble neck and all. 
Angela scooted off to meet with yet another plastic surgeon about her facelift upon Dr. Obeng’s recommendation. Angela was once again taken aback that her doctor looked like a soap opera star, making sure to make a few suggestive comments. She seemed willing to go along with every suggestion made by her new Dr. Dreamboat, but asked that he speak to Michael directly to get him on board with the surgery. Michael remained quiet for most of the conversation, but was obviously not a fan. The doctor stood by as Angela and Michael fought via Facetime before she eventually hung up and confirmed that gobble removable would commence.

Brandon & Julia Gulia:
Julia was so angry after the double date incident, that she was hanging out in her old pre-marital bedroom in her pajamas from The Limited Too. She explained to Brandon that she tends to have a pretty crazy jealousy streak that she’s trying hard to work on, though obviously it’s a slow process. They seemed to make up for the time being, with Julia promising to try not to see Russian red every time Brandon interacts with another human.

Big Mike & Nataloonie toon:
Well things in Tulsa are going as well as one would expect; Mikey & Mommy 4eva, while Natalie is having a hangout session with her 5 personalities. They all collectively took a field trip to the local firewood supplier so Trish could stock up for the winter. Natalie seemed to be enjoying the bucolic scenery from the backseat while downing a container of Pringles (Guess Trish was fresh out of carrots..). She was so excited to see all of the local Tulsan horses (which were actually cows) from the car window (I guess the personality that made that mistake was more of a city slicker….that loves Pringles). Trish was modeling her favorite sun bonnet, which had a convenient opening at the top for her bangs to sprout out like an adorable little radish. 
They arrived at their destination and all pitched in to load the firewood into Trish’s trailer. It was obvious to the local yokel firewood salesman that Natalooshka was a first timer at wood-chucking, as suggested by her outfit, lack of sun bonnet, and frizzy hair flying in the breeze. 
Trish took the opportunity to question Natalie about her aspirations beyond sitting around zee voods and complaining about Mike’s stinky closet, really pushing her to go the route of becoming an interpreter. In the most “Natalie” way ever, she informed her Butter in Law that she was an actress/model, much like her fellow thespian Johnny Depp, and she intended to work hard at her craft in Seattle. She mentioned a few other random comments in a slightly aggressive tone, such as the fact that she’s a beautiful woman, she’s strong, she wouldn’t have married Mike if she just wanted money, and she deserves to be happy. The conversation ended on that awkward note, as they headed back into the car with all of zee firevood in tow.
Trish’s bonnet seamlessly went from day to night, with the top hole becoming a little moonroof for her fancy bangs. (Dress it up with a little dangly earring, and it works for evening wear)

The next item on the agenda was to go to the local butcher shop to stock up for the Thanksgiving feast. Of course Mike was in his glory, drooling over the tomahawk steaks, even begging “Pweeeze, Mommy?!” with a pouty lip to get his way. Natalie, being a vegetarian (though she was a Pringle-itarian in the car), was instantly upset at the sight of all of the meat, and stormed off to the car, giving us a glimpse of those acting chops. Trish couldn’t believe Natalie’s tantrum, and was even more impressed with Mike’s inability to care or console her. 

Back at the house, Natalie explained to Mike that she was tired of being judged all day by Mama Butter, while Mike just sat there and shrugged in a rocking chair, which made his shrugs extry shruggy. Meanwhile, I’d like to see Natalie working alongside Johnny Depp in the Next “Pirates of the Caribbean Part 45; The Quest for White Bonnet’s Butter Treasure”. 

Tiffany & Ronald Ma’Boy:

It seems like miracles DO happen; TIffany had her shoulders covered by a bathrobe. If that wasn’t crazy enough… Ronald’s Visa application got approved. Tiffany felt emotional, as this was something she had been working so hard towards for the last two years. Although she was happy, it seemed as though some of her tears were from a realization that she now was going  to have to take care of yet another dependant and have all of the weight once again fall on her formerly cold shoulders. Tiffany Facetimed Ronald to let him know about the good news, as he sat in front of a sign that mentioned something about “Jebus”. He seemed to be shocked, but excited to be moving forward with the process. 

Tiffany took the kids over to her mom’s house to break the mediocre news about Ronald’s Visa status. (Of course in the second scene she was back to her off the shoulder signature look….Tiffany, you were so close…). Mother Tiffany seemed skeptical of the entire RonRon idea, and was not jumping up to volunteer to be his co-sponsor any time soon. Tiffany said she was going to ask her dad, though she wasn’t quite sure how to break the news to him about Ronald’s past indiscretions, because apparently he doesn’t watch 90 Day Fiance. Her mother gave her the awesome advice to lie to her father (which just might be some petty payback move, since her parents are divorced. Never mess with a woman scorned.. You may eventually get stuck with Ronald for life). 

After the worst advice ever, Tiffany and her dad met up at a restaurant to visit and discuss the co-sponsoring idea. Her father explained the rocky relationship that he and Tiffany had in the past, and his commitment to making things better. He basically agreed out of guilt to co sponsor Ronald, though Tiffany will tell him the full weight of the responsibility, and potential loss of his refrigerator, next week.

Elizabeth & Undrrrrrei:

Sister Jen came over to do Yoga with Libby (they’re self proclaimed “Extreme Yogis”… It’s like extreme couponing but less productive and with more wedgies). They discussed Undrrrei’s upcoming Green Card renewal application, and the possibility of it being denied (while Jen cheered secretly on the inside). Then Libby moved on to the topic of hiring a Nanny, explaining how Undrrrei is completely against outside help in the childcare arena, because Moldova. Jen advised Libby to call Nanny Poppins and just avoid telling her Moldy husband, since withholding information is definitely not the same thing as lying (in the world of Sister Jen).

Later on, Undrrrei decided it was demo day whether Charlie likes it or not. He headed over to the family’s new property.  After taking out all of his aggressions on the ratty old refrigerator, he moved on to demolish the entire kitchen. But before he could make too much headway, Charlie appeared on the scene to stop him. Charlie was angry that Undrrrei had gone rogue and tried doing everything himself, especially because he had no clue what he was doing. They got into a screaming match, which mostly consisted of “yes-huh”/”uh-uh”,  with Undrrrei eventually speeding off in his truck. He did slightly worry about the fact that he’s supposed to be working as part of his Green Card renewal process, but his pride would never let him work under Charlie’s thumb. Maybe one day he’ll realize that he and Charlie are the same person, just different accents.

Kalani & Asuelu:
Kalani went to meet up with an attorney to discuss what would happen in the event that she and Asuelu did divorce. The lawyer explained that both Kalani and her dad, SweetNLow, will not only be responsible for Asuelu for the 10 years they signed up for, but potentially for life, as the law had recently been changed. The only circumstances that would release them from being Asuelu’s keeper were deportation, Citizenship, or…death (which, is something Low seemed like he would have considered a few seasons ago before Low started drinking tea and petting kittens). Kalani had no idea about the amendment to the law, and was starting to come to terms with the fact that she may be stuck with the Samoan Peter Pan for life.