Seeking Sister Wives; S3 EP 10

The Winders; Colton, Sophie, & Tami:
Kimberly, the potential new sister wife, is still in town, trying to see if she and Colton can make some sort of connection (possibly over their favorite plaid shirts). Apparently by day, Colton is a pharm-acist, but after hours, he is a farm-er (also, his favorite food is chicken farm-igiana). He and his two wifies for lifies headed over to old MacColton’s family farm, excited to show off their menagerie to Kimberly.  She seemed to enjoy most aspects of the farm except horseback riding, though she probably enjoyed the view (Colton looked all rugged up there hidden under his cowboy hat with his scruffy beard…also, he wasn’t talking). They all worked up quite the appetite after a long day of farming, so they headed home to debate over the best way to cook a hot dog. Colton ultimately wound up throwing them on the grill, while one of his wives made a side dish of what appeared to be a bowl full of green goo (what in the hell was that!?). 
Dinner conversation consisted of Colton explaining the family’s religion and belief system, eager to see if Kimberly would shy away or be ready to drink the Kool Aid (which would pair nicely with the green goo). Kimberly didn’t seem turned off by the principals of eternal marriage, and admitted that she is still interested in continuing the process of getting to know each other better, as long as they promised not to make her eat any more goo.

The Merrifields; Garlic, Danielle, & Bert:
The Merrifields and all of their exciting wedding plans were interrupted by that pesky OTHER lady we call ‘Rona. Since the borders had been shut down, Garlic and Bert were unable to move forward with their wedding in Mexico as planned, leaving Garlic to sulk in his own yucky tears. Bert ended up contracting the virus and had to move to another relative’s house, so as not to infect her health compromised mother. She claimed that the new location had terrible Wifi connection, so it was hard for her to communicate with her fiances (though I’m wondering if Garlic just told that to Danielle so she wouldn’t hog all of the phone time with Bert for herself).
Back in Colorado, Danielle was busy homeschooling the kids, while she and Garlicbread worked out in their garage/gym, day after day. She seemed to be enjoying all of the quality time together, though Gar seemed aloof and a bit sad since he wasn’t able to see Bert or speak to her as often. 
Danielle’s sister in law Sam came over to visit, and Danielle dropped the bomb that Garlic and Bert decided to forgo the wedding, and move straight into trying to have a baby as soon as the border restrictions were lifted. Sam was shocked and mostly concerned with how Danielle felt about all of this, seeing as how they had only really met Roberta a few times while on vacation mode, and she didn’t really even speak English. Danielle did admit that things seemed to be moving faster than she would like, but Garlic was already was synching his Google calendar to Bert’s ovulation schedule so he could hop on the plane asap and plant a little garlic clove.
I wonder how Danielle feels about farming? Maybe she can just go be a Winder instead and leave these two alone….(Must like green goo).

The Joneses; Tosha & Sidian:
Sidian came inside the house to tell Tosha all about his big date in the front yard. He was sad to report that Alexandra didn’t seem to be into the mom thing, but was still sort of hopeful that she may change her mind if she realized she could be a step parent instead. Tosha was wide-eyed and eager to hear all of the details of the date, seeming way too excited at the thought of sharing Sidian (She was probably busy making Alexandra friendship bracelets to match all 2000 she had made for Sidian, which he was wearing like a 10 year old at Summer camp).
Though I’m pretty sure Alexandra is completely uninterested, it looks like next week she wants to sit down with Tosha to hear her personal reasons for choosing this lifestyle. I’m also slightly interested, but mostly I just want to fix Sidian’s hair…

The Clark’s; Jard & Vanessa:
After the epic fail with Emily last week, the couple got right back on the horse and started looking for another new potential sister wife. They stumbled upon Christa, a single mom of 3 who was interested in potentially joining Jard’s royal court. Christa seems more age appropriate, and is already experienced in both her professional and personal life, unlike the last two prospects. Vanessa seems ready to put a ring on it, but Jard explained that he was proceeding with caution, since the last relationship he was in felt a bit rushed. They all seemed excited to meet next week to see if any royal sparks fly.

The Snowdens; Dimitri, Ashley, & Christeline:
After their sorority sisterwife Taylor jumped ship a few episodes ago, Dimitri and Ashley seemed to be focusing on their other prospect; Christeline. At this point, things seemed to be going well with Christeline and her 2 daughters, who had picked up their lives and made the move from South Africa to become a part of the Snowden cult. Dimitri and Ashley had a private discussion about proposing marriage to Christeline (which I’m guessing is so she could come over as a 90 Day Fiance, giving them yet another show option to be on). Shockingly enough, Ashley and Dimitri are not legally married and never really planned to be, so Christeline would be getting quite the promotion. Ashley brought up the fact that they were still somewhat newly divorced from their first thrupple wedding with Vanessa on Season 2, but she still felt ready to move forward with Christeline.
Looks like next week Dimitri will be proposing to the newest member of his harem (though it feels extra awkward watching all of this unfold when we’ve already seen spoilers of how this ends up). Here’s to hoping Christeline is down with steaming her nether regions and eating kale for 21 days.