Happily Ever Afer; S6, EP 4

Kalani & Asuelu:
The sisters Ka-lani/lini headed out to a random furniture store (because there’s always a random furniture store scene on this show) to shop for Kalani and Asuelu’s new potential house they haven’t bought yet. The sisters found a comfortable display bed and plopped down to chat casually about Kalani’s relationship issues. In the first 3 seconds, she reveals to Kolini that Asuelu has his own gaming room where he also sleeps, and confessed that they only share a bed occasionally for conjugal visits. She cried as she discussed all of her feelings and Kolini encouraged her to Be Strong, Bitch, and just say “Me no accept this”. 
Back at home, Kalani decided to have a sit down talk with her favorite manchild about the status of their relationship. While the couple folded laundry together, Kalani brought up the lack of romance (which I’m guessing is nothing more than Asuelu staring at her pom-poms). Kalani suggested they spice up their marriage by role playing, even giving examples such as dressing up in costumes or pretending to be a kayak instructor and an older American hotel guest with giant pom poms (I actually think it would be fun if she pretended to be an older, chain smoking American woman who hated condoms, and he was an aspiring super star singer from Nigeria and they went to a goat farm. Just an idea had… but it won’t work if he has a toe fetish..)
ANYWAY, things seemed to be light hearted and they were actually laughing together, so Kalani continued by explaining that she also wanted him to be more thoughtful. Asuelu felt like occasionally bringing her pizza without being asked was his romantic gesture of choice, and was hurt and mad when Kalani tried to explain otherwise. The conversation went south fast and ended in tears, as Asuelu disconnected from the situation and was being a pain in the boo-hole. Hopefully the furniture store takes returns…. Looks like things are about to get more stupider. 

Angela, Michael &Dr. Obeng:
Sissy JoJo and Angela arrived at the surgical center and headed into pre op with nervous laughter. The doctor reminded Angela how important it would be to eat right and lay off the smokes and cokes after surgery. Natasha, the surgical coordinator, was going with a Western motif this week, and actually put a whole shirt on this time (it was surgery day, after all). Angela neglected to tell her fringed handler that she had smoked a secret cigarette the morning before surgery, which of course was a big no-no.            
Dr. McDreamy suggested that he and Angela should call Michael together to calm his nerves and reassure him that his favorite assets were in good hands. Although Michael didn’t love the idea of another African man “medically fondling” his tote bags, he seemed to be somewhat reassured. Angela gave Michael the chance to say his goodbyes to her boobs, before hanging up for surgery. It took a few horse tranquilizers but they finally were able to take Angela down after plenty of resistance and swearing. Watching the doctors perform Angela’s gastric sleeve surgery felt like watching old school TLC, when they used to show medical procedures and unique stories (not that the stories now aren’t unique… they’re just classier now.)
After the stomach surgery, Dr Dreamboat came in to take Meemaw’s giant tote bags down to handbag size. Speaking of bags, he seemed to be measuring her breasts in plastic bags on a scale to make sure her boobs would be no more than 3.5 lbs each instead of their current 5lbs of fun. The surgery seemed to go well, and we will get to watch Angela recover next week. Poor Sissy JoJo…. 

Elizabeth & Undrrrrrei:
Undrrrrei is packing up his lunchable to get ready for his first day on the job with Chuck (don’t worry, he is equally as obnoxious and cocky while meal prepping as he is with everything else). Elizabeth seemed super excited that Undrrrrei is finally working as she now has a chance to work from home so she can spend time with baby Eleanor (who may or may not be the one doing her mommy’s makeup). 
Undrrrei picked Chuck up for their big day, starting things off on the right foot by telling Chuck next time he’s charging him gas money. As they set out to see a newly acquired property, Chuck tried to explain the importance of Undrrrei getting along with the rest of the ridiculous family for the sake of their business. Undrreeei, being the big shot that he is, already thinks he is the missing Property Brother separated at birth and shipped off to Moldova. Big Chuck breaks the news that Baby Chuck will be accompanying them to the new property, and he expects Undrrrrei to be on his best behavior. Once at the location, there was tension in the air as the three stooges started doing their walkthrough. Sister Becky randomly appeared in the doorway to up the drama factor, since this whole storyline is going nowhere fast. All of the kids felt Father Chuck was unclear on what their roles should be for this project, as they yelled and talked over each other for the umpteenth time. I’m guessing next week they will find a new location to not get along in…… I think I go Russia.

Brandon & Juli Gulia:
Meanwhile, back on the farm…..Julia is hanging out in the cricket infested kitchen with Betty and her adorably fluffy little bangs. Betty reminded her of the time, since poor Cinderjulia was already late to her morning chores of feeding the animals. After she begrudgingly emptied her last bucket of slop, it was time for Julia to get gussied up to head to Richmond and meet with an established wedding planner for a possible internship interview of sorts. The wedding planner, Christine, seemed impressed with Julia’s resume, which included waitressing, dancing, something about prison, and her current position at the farm (Clearly a Renaissance woman). Christine let Julia know the important first steps she should take if she was interested in breaking into the bridal industry, which of course included becoming better with communication and working on building relationships.
Later that evening, Brandon was unwinding from a long day of bug squishing, sitting on the bed playing video games. Julia told him all about her interview, and her new homework to make friends and learn more communication skills. Brandon thought of introducing Julia to one of his female friends from high school, which apparently was a terrible idea, as Julia flew off the handle. She explained her distrust of other women and her jealousy was up to crazy level: Natalie. Brandon was taken aback, never having seen Julia be this crazy jealous before. Previews for next week show Julia going into crazy jealousy overdrive next week, which should hopefully take this up a notch.

Yara & Bonjovi:
Yara and Jovi went out for dinner with baby Mylah as their third wheel in the stroller. Jovi thought they should be enjoying their couple time, and was shocked when Yara breastfed the baby at the table (But it probably just made him reminisce about his strip club days…) Throughout their date, Yara was constantly worried about the sleeping baby’s wellbeing, and wasn’t able to focus on anything else. Jovi was beginning to feel frustrated, as he couldn’t even have a conversation without Yara worrying about some tiny detail about the baby.
Later on, Yara continued her role as hover mother back at the apartment. Jovi, though slightly clueless as he might be, was trying hard to do the dad thing, by attempting to hold and comfort the baby, with Yara stopping and correcting him. Jovi tried his best to explain that Yara needs to loosen up a bit, as she will soon be alone when he’s away, 2 months on, no months off at work, and without any help. She’d better take the help now and pay attention to him, or before she knows it, he could be sleeping in the game room and talking about role playing BGL & Sojaboy….

Big Mike & Nataloonie:
Natalie is alone at her hotel in Seattle after Mike had stormed off during his birthday dinner. Although she felt it was wrong of Mike to leave her, she decided to head back to Squim to hash things out. The couple came face to mask in the dusty driveway, where Natalie confronted Mike about leaving her, all before doing some kind of strange apology dance while maintaining her signature scary eyed stare. (I’m pretty sure the only reason they’re still together is because of Mike’s love of aliens and the fact that Natalie is the closest thing you can find). They seemed to have made up for the time being, though I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.
Mike called his mom on video chat to discuss his upcoming visit with his wackadoodle bride (If you were curious, a Wackadoodle is a new designer breed of a wacko mixed with poodle, and they generally have the poodle hair). Mother Buttersworth explained that though she was looking forward to their trip, she wasn’t so psyched about dealing with Natalie and her drama. Between Natalie being a vegetarian, being mad that Mike’s mom wanted him to call of the wedding, and Natalie’s multiple personalities in general, what could go wrong?! 
I for one am looking forward to this Thanksgiving dinner, and hope they show Uncle Beau having an 80s style house party while Mike and Natalie are gone (preferably with a pizza ending up on a turntable).

Tiffany & Ronald Ma’Boy:
This week, on “Woman with exposed shoulders fights with man via Facetime while her son is more mature than both of them put together”, oh wait…. That was it. There’s your recap.

More specifically, Daniel Ma’Boy helped Tiffany assemble some Ikea furniture before they arranged a Facetime chat with Ronald. Daniel seems to have a close bond with his long distance dad despite all of his parents’ turbulent relationship. Tiffany got on the video call to speak privately with Ronald, who let her know that he had gotten a new temporary job as a motorcycle mechanic. Though this seemed like a positive thing, Tiffany still seemed annoyed,  feeling like she was still doing everything on her own for their family. Ronald didn’t seem to understand what sacrifices Tiffany had made, conveniently forgetting that she had gotten on an airplane to South Africa with a baby twice, which sounds like my worst nightmare. I’d almost rather sit next to Tania on an airplane to South Africa, but maybe not really.