Happily Ever Afer; S6, EP 3

Elizabeth & Undrrrei:
Here we go again… Elizabeth is trying to force Undrrrrei to give peace a chance as they are about to meet up with Baby Chuck for the big apology lunch. Of course neither the American Meathead nor the Moldovan meat-floating-in-jello-head want to admit they were wrong. Undrrrei was assembling a playhouse for little Eleanor (which is the first “house flip” on his resume), and explaining to Libby that he refuses to work with that bum Charlie (takes one to know one). It is literally the same fight and conversation for at least two seasons straight. The only thing that has changed are their underwear (because now they don’t wear any: OnlyFans.)
Amidst the dramatic music, Elizabeth and Undrrrei sat down at a restaurant from their showdown with Chuckles Jr. Charlie gave a half assed apology for his big wedding speech in Moldova, while simultaneously still blaming Undrrrei for taking advantage of his dad. The stupidity moved on to the current situation, where Undrrei tried to get a loan from Chuck Senior and only work with him, thinking he could bypass the rest of the funky bunch. It seems as though Chuck gave Undrrrei and Charlie two different stories of how things were going to go with the family business, perhaps just to thicken the plot. They seemed to conclude the meeting by agreeing they would both like to make money, and Libby blinked a lot.

Jovi & Yara:
I hope Yara and Jovi enjoyed their 15 minutes break since they were last on 90 Day. Figuring we all had amnesia, they were made to recap their whole relationship from the beginning until present, which now includes their new baby, Mylah.  
The couple are home from the hospital with their bundle of joy, settling into life as new parents. Yara seems to be super protective and only wants to do things her way, while Jovi is out in pajama pants in public buying the wrong sized diapers; Sounds about right. Mama Gwen came over to help the newbies, who want all of her help but perhaps less of her input. Later on, Jovi was fiddling with some breast pump equipment in an attempt to help Yara, who is feeling like a milk cow with pepperoni nipples…the miracles of childbirth. After she was done pumping, Jovi made sure to take a swig, since all of the bars in New Orleans are closed due to the pandemic. The couple discussed Jovi’s upcoming work trip to Guyana for 2 months. Yara is freaking out about being alone in the U.S. with the baby, as she figured she would be taking Mylah home to Ukraine to be with her family while Jovi was traveling for work. Unfortunately because of Covid she isn’t able to travel, and will have to stay either home alone or with Mama Gwen, who has the swaddle blankets on standby.

Angela & Michael:
Angela is pregaming for her surgery by adhering to her strict “liquids only” diet, as she ordered a cup of chicken noodle soup. Of course she should have liquified the noodles, carrots and chicken pieces on a technicality, but it’s Angela, and she does what she wants. 
Angela’s ride or die friend JoJo “Sissy” showed up to support her favorite Meemaw through her surgery. Angela told her of the legend of Dr, Denzel and how he brought to her attention all that comes along with her procedure. Apparently each one of Angela’s boobs weighs as much as: A two liter bottle of soda, the average Pomeranian, a premie, and 20 sticks of butter (Don’t get any ideas, Mike’s mom). Due to the 10 lbs of boob hauling, Dr McDreamy feels a reduction is necessary. Angela explains to Sissy JoJo that she’s nervous to tell Michael, since her lady lumps are his favorite attribute.  
Angela is getting hangry as the day of the surgery is upon us. She called Michael to let him know that there would be a little less of her to love post-op, and hoped he wouldn’t miss “pulling on them” (a mental image that may never fully go away). She had to include the fact that the doctor was a smoldering African man just to make sure Michael was on his toes, being that they’ve been so far away from each other for so long. Michael seemed to be having a hard time taking in the news, which Angela somehow masterfully turned around into “Michael doesn’t care about my health, he only wants to swing low on my sweet chariots”. She played her hand well, managing to avoid the backlash from not telling Michael about the breast reduction surgery sooner. Looking for a way to cope with the stress, she snuck in a last pre surgery smoke (which was well earned after that performance).

Meanwhile, back in Nigeria….Michael was chatting with his brother Yekini about his feelings on Angela’s surgery. He lets the world know that in Nigeria, a woman’s boobs are somewhat of a status symbol…. Kind of like Louis Vuitton Bag (And Angela’s held even more than most). Yeikini  tells Michael the hard truth that American women are more independent and with all of Angela’s physical transformations, she may be looking for attention from other men. (Poor Michael has earned this Visa, just let him in already.)
Back in L.A. Angela was in the car on her way to surgery when she decided to call Psychic Tracey, because now everyone gets their own personal psychic. Psychic Tracey gives her some fairly generic inspirational advice, which made Angela feel better about going under the knife. She makes one more phone call to speak with the Grids, but unfortunately they were too busy on TikTok to chat. With her hair up in her signature pineapple ponytail, she continued her ride to the surgical center, which I’m guessing we will see much more of next week.

Kalani & Asuelu:
It was homecoming time for Kolini, or as her family calls her,  Aunt “B” which stands for “Babygirl” (though I’m sure Asuelu has a different B word in mind). Just as promised, Asuelu made sure the house was decked out in an assortment of decorations from Dollar Tree’s party aisle. The initial reunion between Asuelu and Kolini seemed to go well, as he explained to be putting the past behind him and moving forward as part of his “new year, new me” initiative. 
Once the sisters were alone in their mother’s craft room (aka Kolini’s new bedroom), Kalani explained that Asuelu is attempting to change for the better, and she feels like she’s only 80% done with him (because here at 90 Day Fiance, you’re required to use percentages).
The next morning Kalani whipped up a batch of Sam-Wa pancakes, as the reunited family awkwardly talked about buying a house to save their collective marriage. Aunt mind-your-own B-sness feels that the couple should rent, rather than buy, since last season the couple were on a fast track to divorce. Asuelu looked like he was about to cry, as he tried to again explain that he is a changed man, before exiting stage left to tend to “farty boy”. We need 80% more dancing and Sam-wa cousine to kick this up a notch. Please/thanks.

Brandon & Julia Gulia:
Brandon and Julia are back on the farm after their big trip to Sin City. Although Brandon seems to feel like “there’s no place like home”, Julia would rather move anywhere as long as there was less manure.They discussed their upcoming interview for Julia’s green card, and what would happen if I go Russia. 
The following day, they trekked to the immigration office for their interview. Unfortunately immigration was unable to give them a “Da”or “Net” since the pandemic had forced them to change the rules. The appointment left them feeling unsettled, though they were glad Julia wasn’t denied. If only they knew what the outcome would be….. Maybe they could use the hot tub as a time machine… I heard about that once…

Tiffany & Ronald Ma’Boy:
After spite-cancelling her plane tickets to South Africa, Tiffany decided to use that refundable Expedia cash towards a deposit for her own apartment. Since she had currently been living with her two kids in her mother and grandmother’s house, she felt like having her own place for her and the kids was much needed. While she taped up her boxes, her mother (who is also into exposing her shoulders), decided to unleash her true feelings about Ma’Boy. Tiffany’s mom didn’t seem to be a big fan of Ronald McDonald, and does partially blame her daughter for ignoring the glowing neon red flags throughout her relationship. She feels like Tiffany is the one constantly sacrificing and doing everything for the kids, while Ronald brings very little to the table (Unless it’s a poker table).She told Tiffany to forget about Ronald and just Hakuna Matata. Looks like next week we’ll get to watch the couple fight through Facetime again, but with Tiffany wearing a new cold shoulder top. Also, she is fighting Kalani this season for the title of “biggest boobs” (especially since Angela is now dropping out of the race. Sorry for your loss, Michael). 

 Looking forward to next week’s awkward reunion in Squim filled with frizz and crazy eyes.