90 Days of Our Lives; S8 Tell All Part 2

The second half of the Tell All started out with a meeting of the minds, as we listened to the other cast members weigh in on the Andrew and Amira saga. Apparently Amira refused to appear on camera if she had to see Andrew, while Andrew refused to do the Tell All if he wasn’t on with Amira. Since the couple seemed to be deadlocked, the production crew had to work overtime trying to sweet talk them into budging (probably offering them a TLC coffee mug and a year’s supply of Boombod. Tempting….) The other couples seemed to feel that Andrew should be allowed to tell his side with or without Amira. Rebecca (who did not have pigtails during the Tell All) seemed to have a lot to say, as something similar must have happened with her ex from Morocco. (Her interjections made me involuntarily want to throw things at the tv, which is pretty rare, because I like my t.v.)
Amira appeared on camera, without any facial expression, but don’t worry- the voice was still the same Freddy Krueger nails on a chalkboard as usual. She claimed to be stressed out with all of the Andrew commotion, and could bust out into a panic attack at any moment. Shaun began by asking Amira about the last time she was in communication with Andrew. Amira claimed she hadn’t spoken to him since sending the engagement ring back to Mordor with gifts for both him and his family, and was angry she didn’t receive a “Merci” note in the mail. As everyone was forced to rewatch their season, Amira squirmed in her red lingerie top, trying to explain her mysterious detention center experience. She told Shaun that upon landing in Mexico she was asked to remove her shoes, hand over her phone, and go into a prison cell without any explanation. After 3 days she was released onto an airplane back to France with a layover in Amsterdam. It was then that her phone was returned to her, only to find that Andrew had not really tried to contact her…. Or barely contacted her, she couldn’t decide. Zied looked concerned the entire time Amira was recanting her horror story, but he was most likely just wondering when they would be breaking for pizza. 

The rest of the cast seemed to question Amira’s “Locked up Abroad” story as it seemed to lack details, and they were all curious to hear what Andrew had to say as well. Production made their final attempt to lure Andrew into “the land of 1000 carpets” aka the set (seriously, why were there so many overlapping rugs?! There were more rugs on that stage than cast members…) but Andrew said “No, sorry, I’m busy… I have to go wash my hair”. And he meant it. Because he needs to. Also,I hope Yara made Jovi take off his shoes when he walked on all of those rugs….
The cast and production questioned Amira why she was afraid to go “extensions to beard” with Andrew, and she replied by saying she was afraid he was going to be angry and yell. Shaun went on to ask Amira why she would possibly go to Serbia after the Mexico fiasco, and Amira basically explained that it was a “double dog dare”. She said the final straw was on the last day in Serbia when Andrew yelled at her over the phone about getting pregnant the day she stepped foot in the US. Even after all of THAT yelling, she still contemplated getting on the plane (lured by the bright lights of Sephora) but decided that she hated yelling more than she loved lip liner (which is hard to believe, because it really looked like she loved lip liner. Also, Sephora would have made a beautiful girl’s name, if they did have a baby). Amira also added that upon returning to France she received an email notification that Andrew was back on the dating site where they had met, looking for new people to yell at. She rounded out her sordid tale by letting everyone know that while it did take her a long time to get over her bearded buddy, she has now moved on with the NEW love of her life, who is conveniently from…. The United States.
As the Amira show came to a close, the cast seemed to feel as confused as the rest of us, and felt like this plot had major holes. Now someone give Zied his damn pizza, or I’m going to get Andrew to yell at the manager!

Next up was team Tarzel, aka naptime. I basically forgot they were on the show.
They started with Tarik taking everyone to school about the whole “seeking sister wife” situation, as it’s not all threesomes and Hawt Sauzzz like you’d expect. Tarik claims that he’s fine being in a committed relationship with each partner having their own side projects. What could go wrong?!
Shaun brought up the Minty/Mendy/Menty situation, replaying their scenes, and eventually brought Minty fresh in on the big screen. Hazel got an attitude immediately, feeling like she wanted to spear-a-Mint. It looked as if there was going to be trouble in Tarzel paradise, as Minty also dropped the bomb that she and Tarik have recently been in communication… and by recent, she meant that morning. Tarik clarified, saying that they only communicate via group text that Hazel started, as she doesn’t trust the two of them together, so she brilliantly decided to BCC herself in the loop (surely she must realize they could be having a private chat outside of her group chat, but sure, why not). The rest of their portion of the Tell All was the usual snooze fest, as Tarik tried to justify his ongoing “friendship” with Minty-fresh while Hazel claimed to be unhappy about it and that was that.

The attention turned back to Natalie and Big Mike, who were taking a break after dominating the first part of the Tell All. Shaun segued in by talking about jealousy, and the fact that at the last Tell All for the previous season, Natalie was jealous of Mike’s friend, Sara. The production crew tried to ramp up the drama factor by bringing in Sara (only one season too late). It turns out that Sara, (who kind of looked like a brunette Lisa Marie Presley) explained that she had never had contact with Natalie, until after Mike’s “topless” incident, when Natalie confronted her and asked if all American women were whores like her. Of course Natalie claimed to have no recollection of saying this, but it was possibly the most Natalie thing ever. Clearly Sara was not an instant Natalie fan, and the two ladies exchanged “words” via video chat, while Mike probably just sat there shrugging and claiming to need more time (which doesn’t even make sense in this context, but I think it might be all he knows how to say at this point. He’s on autopilot). 
Though Natalie could not recollect the specific comment, she admitted to “speaking detective style”, i.e. “Where were you on zee night of June 15th, when you were being an American whore??”

And just like that… the Tell All commenced.
Behind the scenes, there were a few interviews and little moments. Natalie still strutted around like a rabid peacock, while Hazel and Tarik admitted they don’t follow anyone’s else’s rules… not even their own. Rebecca and PeePaw Zied headed back to the hotel for a little Papa John’s early bird special, while Yara was busy thinking of ways she was going to torture Jovi about his bachelor party scene. And as for me…now I just go back to Russia. Zee End!