90 Days of Our Lives; S8 EP 6

Big Mike & Natalie:

Meanwhile, back in Squim….

Natalie is playing the role of the good little housewife, trying to earn back that ring and make the “wife” part happen. She awkwardly told Mike to stay out of the kitchen, as she planned to make him a delicious dinner of fruit salad and croissants (guess he was off the meat this week). Though Mike tried to be her sous chef, she ushered him out of the kitchen and into his lazy boy, merely 5 feet away. Natalie admitted that she hadn’t unpacked her luggage yet, just in case she needed to make a quick getaway. She seems to think things are going well between the two, but isn’t sure if she’s cut out to be on The Real Housewives of Squim. 
In an attempt to commit to the process, she asked Mike if she could have a few extra dresser drawers, as she likes to keep her clothes folded. Mike insisted that she could have half of the closet, which he had cleared out just for her, but Natalie was not interested due to the closet’s unique aroma (I’m going to go with a “choose your own adventure” as to what could have caused the smell; A. Mike must have previously let Uncle Beau store his favorite things he found in the yard in there B.Uncle Beau’s ex girlfriends’ remains or C.Mike is hiding meat to cheat on his “off” weeks ). In any case, what started out as a possible step forward in the relationship ended up being another eye rolling experience. The Big man looks like his patience was wearing thin, and things are looking grim in Squim. 
Next we see Natalie alone in the house pretending to be Cinderella and complaining about everything. She claims to be busy all day with the housework, which may now include Fabreezing Mike’s closet and rearranging his dorky sunglasses collection from over the stove to another location. She takes a break from her chores to video chat with her mother back home in “Keev”, and lies about what a great time she’s having. Her mother, who is #TeamMike, wants more info on the pending wedding, putting more stress on Natalie to seal the deal. The previews for next week don’t show things getting any better….(As uncle Beau sips his tea, quietly watching from a distance…waiting for his invitation back home)

Jovi & Yara:

Jovi is packing up his things as it’s time for his “4 weeks on” at the old day job. He apologized for bringing up the bad memories from the miscarriage at the dinner table, and claimed he hated to leave Yara on that bad note (He probably should have “left on a high note”, while fighting over the rug). Yara accompanied him to the airport to see him off, and the couple successfully managed to not fight for the entire ride there. She admitted that things were going to be big (because of the fat people) and not necessarily easy in the Big Easy and she anticipated feeling more homesick than ever. Once they had their lukewarm goodbye at the airport, Yara headed home, alone, to get used to her new surroundings. She told production that upon taking an afternoon stroll around her new city, a friendly local barfed on her fancy shoes (but in fairness, we still haven’t seen anyone peeing on Bourbon Street….on camera). Feeling lonely, Yara decided to meet up with Jovi’s friend Stephanie (not the hula hooper Stephanie, though that would’ve been fun and probably a discount on lip injections), for a girls’ afternoon out at the nail salon. She admitted that she was hanging out with Stephanie because she was bored and didn’t know anyone, because Yara is charming like that. While getting pedicures, Stephanie questioned Yara on how well she knows Jovi and what she knows about his past. Clearly she knew he hated sparkly rugs and facing hard situations, but she had no idea that Jovi had a past filled with getting black out drunk, sleeping with strippers, and an ex-girlfriend who wet the bed. Yara questioned whether she knew the real Jovi, but also Stephanie’s motives for spilling the tea. She did explain to Stephanie that she would like to open her own beauty spa one day and have Jovi switch his career to something with 4 weeks on and 4 weeks on again. This made Stephanie wonder if things would work, since Jovi seemed committed to his underwater basket weaving, or whatever it was that he did down there. Can’t wait to see what filler activities production will have Yara do while Jovi is away to fill in the time…. 

Andrew & Amira:

Andrew is crying into his pina colada at the fact that his fiance, Amira, is locked up in a Mexico City detention center. He feels helpless, since he is a considerable distance away and can’t seem to gather any information via phone about her status. He decided to skip his Club Med limbo competition so that he could Skype with Amira’s father, Hamdi. Notably Hamdi seemed beside himself with worry for his daughter’s safety and whereabouts, asking Adrew to share any information he uncovered in his so-called “research”. In an attempt to win Hamdi over, as this was their first face to face conversation, Andrew showed a little leg and cleavage in his button down shirt and shorts while sitting sloppily on the couch. After the video chat, Andrew did a series of lunges outside on the balcony amidst the beautiful view, claiming to be “super stressed”. 
My only hope for next episode is that it will be nothing like this episode.

Rebecca & so much Zied:

Rebecca is all flustered and having a hard time applying her makeup as it’s finally time for Zied to make his debut in America. Rebecca’s daughter Tiffany and her fiance Micah decided to chaperone the airport pickup, as they are anxious to meet their mother’s newest 90 day fiance (and also for a storyline. They have been so maaaaach lacking one this season thus far). Rebecca’s kids seemed concerned that Zied may be a repeat of her last 20 something year old Arabic imported husband, who took advantage of her affections and used her for money and a green card. 

Once at the airport, Rebecca waited nervously, watching all of the passengers enter the baggage claim area, until she finally saw the subject of all of her home decor appear in the crowd. Rebecca was so happy to see and smell Zied in person (he must’ve pulled a “Darcey” with his cologne in the bathroom, and he made sure not to wear anything that had been hanging up in Big Mike’s closet). Tiffany and Micah lingered awkwardly in the background as they watched the couple embrace. They were less than impressed with Zied’s short answers, such as “so mach perfect” and “yes, perfect of course”. Although Zied had just traveled 18 hours, Tiffany and Micah invited the couple out for drinks.Though he must have been exhausted, he agreed to go, as he was just so happy and excited to be there. At the bar/restaurant, Rebecca is acting like a giddy schoolgirl, which is so maaach uncomfortable for her kids. She ordered food for Zied, almost mothering him, as the couple faced interrogating questions from Tiffany and Micah in relation to Zied’s intentions. Understandably, Tiffany (who had pink eye… or just pink eye shadow exploded all over her eyes, either one), felt nervous that this relationship would be a repeat of her mother’s previous mistakes, explaining that Rebecca has a thing for “young foreign men”. Though her concerns were valid, they should have at least let poor Zied take a nap first before his line of questioning. Can’t wait to see if he likes the hot chicken!

Team Tarzel:

Team Tarzel spent their second day together trying to figure out the drawer/closet situation to accommodate both of their iconic wardrobes. Tarik explained that real estate in his bedroom is hard to come by, since his daughter Auri sleeps in his bedroom and also keeps a lot of things there. Though Hazel seemed slightly uncomfortable with the idea of all sleeping in bed together, she was also very understanding as Auri has high functioning Autism. Tarik couldn’t wait to introduce the two leading ladies in his life, so he left Hazel to go pick up Auri and bring her to the house. Auri seemed to gravitate to Hazel, even saying her name, which was a great start. This made Tarik verklempt watching Hazel hug and cradle his daughter, and he hopes that she will continue to have patience and understanding. 

After all of the touchy heartwarming stuff, Tarik decided to throw a “Welcome home” party for Hazel, inviting all of his many female friends over for some BBQ and “cone”bread. Tarik’s friends were all thrilled to meet Hazel, as they couldn’t believe he was finally settling down, since he had been a bit of a party animal/ladies’ man in his past. The friends seemed to be warm and welcoming towards Hazel, even bringing her a gift of a scarf in her signature favorite color of 70s powder blue. Hazel spoke about missing her son, who she had to leave behind in the Philippines, but will hopefully be able to bring over in a year or so, after team Tarzel ties the knot, which will be officiated by Miss Cleo at the psychic center. 

Stephanie & her hula hoop:

Stephanie is super bummed to find out that the borders have still been closed for the pandemic. She hasn’t seen her Belizean boy-toy Ryan (or his cousin, for that matter) in 9 months, and feels that they’re losing their connection that they probably never had in the first place. Ryan is still ducking Stephanie’s phone calls, as she paced nervously in her sheer pirate themed shirt and little boy shorts. She even complained about Ryan’s lack of communication to her cat, who seemed to be ready to put himself up on PetFinder at this point.

Stephanie finally decided to give up on Ryan for the time being, and change her focus to her hula hooping endeavour (this time without the Levar Burton glasses). Oddly enough, Ryan finally returned her call, but was very angry and annoyed with Stephanie calling him incessantly while he was out working hard at the resort to earn his own money (which is ironically hers). Ryan had no idea that the Belizean borders were staying closed, and didn’t seem to care either way. He claimed to be happy just where he is, especially since he’s being paid so well at his day job, and no longer cares about coming to the U.S. with Stephanie, citing that she is crazy. (Maybe his blood sugar was low… someone go grab him a key lime yogurt!) 
After the phone call, Stephanie is confused and frustrated, claiming that they will either need to break up in person, or just go ahead with the K-1 Visa, whether he likes it or not. 
Hopefully her next call is to the cousin…..

Noticeably missing were Brandon and Julia, who told his parents they were going to do “farm chores”, but were really getting handsy in the barn behind the chicken coop. If those farm animals could talk…..