The Other Way; S2, EP 18

Ariela & Baby Daddy Baby:

Baby Biniyam is wandering the hospital halls and parking lot looking for his runaway baby momma. He finally caught up to Ariela, who was clutching the baby to her water-filled boobs, and she was noticeably distraught. Ariela had a mini breakdown at the circumcision appointment from last week, and decided she needed more time to think about whether or not she wanted to go through with it. She fought with the grown Baby over feeling pressured to go through with the procedure, and though it is also his child, it’s kind of just hers. She seems to be having a stressful time adjusting to becoming a mom in general, and making important decisions is not something she feels up to at the moment. Ultimately Biniyam looks like he’s scared of her (rightfully so), and agrees to go home and let her get some rest, even promising not to have any gratuitous surprise goat sacrifices this time. (But seriously, where’s the “positive gangster” already!?!?)
Ariela took a week to think over her decision, and ultimately decided to reschedule the circumcision due to popular opinion from her inner circle. Baby Daddy Baby had convinced her that it was the most important thing (along with the other three most important things he wanted..) that the baby was snipped, and she reluctantly agreed. Ari decided to wait outside of the room where the procedure was being performed, though rushed in upon hearing the baby’s cries. She immediately started crying and screaming, threatening for Biniyam not to touch her. 
When the procedure was done, the baby was dressed and softened his cries, as he was once again reunited with Ari. Clearly she was traumatized from the whole ordeal, and claimed to have doubts about her relationship with the grown Baby. Just don’t put any of the Baby’s in the corner.

Deavan & Jihoon:

The family of four headed to a local park to picnic with Jihoon’s college buddies and their families. Apparently in Korea it’s fairly common to have a small pop up tent at a park to shade yourself from the sun, though Deavan explains in the U.S., this means homeless people pee there and/or buy meth. Culture. 
Jihoon’s friends were shocked to see he had settled down and had kids, since in his college days, he was a bit wild and selfish. Then Jihoon was sent away (presumably by production) so Deavan could have the most awkward conversation with his friends about finding photos of naked women on his phone….. Because that’s a normal thing to talk about with people you just met. Deavan does not feel any more at ease when his buddies agreed that they didn’t feel Jihoon cheated, and many of them have scandalous photos in their personal spank banks. After all of that awkwardness, we next see Deavan and Jihoon get to have a date night all by themselves. She takes this alone time as a great opportunity to bring up Jihoon’s collection of naked selfie ladies on his phone. Jihoon seemed very embarrassed, as he explained that Deavan isn’t always in the mood to get it on, so he takes care of business next to her while she’s sleeping. Deavan consulted Melyza (the resident expert on cheating), who agreed that this is in fact an offense, and a line of cheating questions ensued. Jihoon declared that he has never cheated on Deavan during the entirety of their relationship, though he did admit to cheating on an ex in the past. Of course he dug his own grave with that comment, but let’s be honest….it’s always his fault anyway. He decides to confirm his innocence by telling Deavan that if he didn’t love her, he would’ve used a condom, the logic of which I’m still trying to understand. He was so sure of his answer though, that he vowed to cut his own d*ck off if he was lying…… And then Ariela ran in crying “Get away from my baby!!!!”. And then Jess ran in and said “Good afternoon, My D*ck”. The end.  

Brittany & Yazan:

Meanwhile, back in Jordan…..

Yazan’s life has gone from bad to worse. His family tribe hates him, as some neighborhood Jordanian “Mrs. Kravitz” spread rumors that Brittany is a porn star. It was also said that the two have made dirty movies together (where she played a girl getting braces and he was a sexy Jordanian orthodontist). Of course Yazan waived these allegations away saying they were nothing, but Family Yazan is collectively pissed. His younger and more attractive brother, Obaida, agreed to meet with Yazan in secret to discuss trying to extend the olive branch to their dear old dad, as Yazan has now been banished from their home.
After the covert meeting, Brother Yazan met with Father Yazan, who hates being the subject of gossip, and is completely over “The Brittany”. He flashes a picture of Brittany in her bikini to his younger son to prove that the rumors are true, and strictly taboo in their religion (Yazan should have just said they were on Jihoon’s phone…. Because blaming Jihoon is always the way to go, and because we now know he might actually have a selfie of Brittany on his phone). Father Yazan is so angry that he proclaims if Yazan is to marry The Brittany, he will murder him. I’m not too positive what production’s protocol is on hearing actual hits being taken out on their subjects, but they seemed to just roll with it. (Father Yazan did have a very middle eastern Robert DeNiro thing going on, it almost makes sense that he felt so comfortable ordering the hit. Let’s just hope no one tells Yazan “Don’t forget the cannolis….” …or baklava).
Obaida and Yazan reconvene in a murdery looking garage to relay the ominous message from dear old Dad. Yaz explains that he’s aware of Brittany’s lifestyle and Instagram posts, and feels he needs to ease her into changing everything about herself after she moves to Jordan. He further explains that Brittany is on her way back to town, and he just needs a few days to see if her love is real, and if she’ll agree to a religious Muslim Makeover.

Meanwhile, Back in “Palm Beach”….
Brittany is hanging out with her adorable non murdery dad, discussing her return to Jordan. Her father is concerned, as during Brittany’s last stint in Jordan, she called him in tears over the “family Yazan” fiasco.  She assured her father that this time would be different, as Yazan has separated from his family on his own accord (though she conveniently left out the fact that his father wants him to sleep with the fishes over their relationship). Brittany’s father made a last attempt to talk some sense into her, telling her to forget the whole thing, as it was asking too much of Yazan to give up his entire family for their relationship, and also worried about her safety. Brittany just shrugged and assured him everything would be fine, as she got in the car heading to the airport. 
Minutes later on the car ride, she received text messages from a furious Yazan, who had just gotten into a car accident in which the police report cited the fault was in fact “The Brittany”.  The fight moved from a text to a phone call, where Yazan continued to scream in Brittany’s ear that the stress caused by the repercussions of being with Brittany and their fighting caused his accident. Brittany remained seemingly calm, smiling, as she told her betrothed that she had nothing to do with his reckless driving, and somehow didn’t bother to ask if he was okay (though he seemed to be yelling just fine…) She claimed to be having second thoughts about getting on the flight to Jordan, though it appears from next week’s preview, she boards the plane…..in a tequila t-shirt. Can’t imagine a world where this works out positively. 

Jenny & Smee:

Soomee is off to court- yet again (man he loves going to Court!!) to pay his final installment for his divoce and be done once and for all (This divorce is like something you buy on QVC…”for only 286 payments of $69.95 this divorce could be yours!).  Father Smit met up with his son, explaining that he had to get loans from friends, family, and the bank to afford this divorce, but ultimately feels it’s worth it for SiouxMe’s mental health. After all was said and done, a smiling Someitch  came out of the courthouse and immediately Facetimed his Jenny to confirm that he can now change his facebook status from “its complicated” to “divorced and dominated”. 
Stewmeat, Father Stewmeat, and his faithful friend Rohit sat down over some chai to celebrate the momentous occasion. ShoeMe vowed to repay his father all $20k dollars that he had spent, even though he only has a part time crappy job, and Jenny wants him to play cabana boy around the house all day. When asked about the future, Sueme tried to be honest for a change and told his dad about his plans to marry his mature bride. Although half of the battle had been won with the divorce situation, the Parents SomeItch are still not on board with having a daughter in law who is also their elder (I wonder if his parents would mind if “Mike Jones” married Jenny..)
Sueme realized he needs to work as many jobs as possible to be able to repay his father, so he hit up his friend/recent entrepreneur about a job for $100/week.He decides to take the job, as it is better than nothing, but knows it won’t really make a dent in his repayment plan or covering the bills. Realizing that he was running out of options, Summit, NJ is going to have to figure something out fast….which hopefully include him and Jenny making an OnlyFans account. Aaaaand here I go making myself nauseous again.

Cheesestick &Melyza:

Did you know that he cheated on her?
Well he did. And things will never be the same. Bye!

Ok fine, I’ll recap. Tim’s mom (who is basically him in a fluffy wig), is coming to town to check out her son’s new life, even though I bet even she has lost interest. Apparently last time Momma McCheesy had encountered Melyza was right after the cheating scandal surfaced, and the couple had gotten into a screaming match where Melyza threw things at Tim. (I find this hard to believe, as to throw something in a fit of rage, you would need to have some kind of emotion, and I’m not sure if her face is capable of that). Momma Cheeseball threatened to call the police if Melyza didn’t slow her roll, which caused a rift in their relationship, to say the least.
Melyza feels like she should stay with her parents while Momma Cheddar is in town, as it’s still a bit awkward being all together. I believe that was all that happened, before I went catatonic.
Until next time, when we see Tim’s mom tell them to just stop wasting everyone’s time….

Karmando:

Kenny is brushing his teeth with bottled water, as not to get any icky Mexico guacamole water on his toothbrush, so he could have the freshest breath ever when the couple goes to apply for their marriage license. Armando did his homework and filled out all of the couples’ information because there was no way Kenny would have understood what the form said under the section that read,“Información”.  It was back to the car for these two (they’ve spent the entire season driving) as they headed down the scenic highway. Kenny is worried about the possibility of being denied for their same sex marriage license, though he is heavily relying on the Karmando cute factor.
Once at the marriage office, Armando of course did all of the talking (Kenny may have said his signature “hola”). From what I gathered about the marriage license application process, it seemed pretty typical of any official government procedure; You fill out the required paperwork, someone tells you that although you did everything correctly, it’s still wrong and requires 10 more forms, which of course all have associated application fees. It seems as though this was the case for Karmando, as it was explained that first you have to be denied, then you have to petition for said denial, wait a really long time, file 10 more papers, and then you’ll get approved. It’s like the DMV on steroids. Karmando was very disappointed that they weren’t approved right away, and would now need to go to the “Human Rights Commission” to file more paperwork. Keny was all “No mucho gusto”, as this negativity brought back a whir of emotions of not being accepted in the past. He worried if once they were to get the green light for the marriage license, they would then have a hard time finding vendors who would cater to a same sex couple. Hopefully by next week they will be approved, and we will watch them drive for another 3 episodes to look at venues and pick out their outfits.