Love After Lockup, Season 2 Episode 7

Michael/Sarah/Ghetto Superstar Sarah/ Maria:
We started out where we left off, at the therapist with the awful blue streaked hair mediating a therapy sesh between Sarah and Michael. Michael has a mysterious ace bandage on his hand, as he tells us hes trying to be “shter-shtegic” about his plan to file for divorce.
Michael maintains that Sarah wants to be with him, which appears to be the case.
After therapy, Sarah is sitting in the parking lot, yelling at Michael about seeing his childrenses. Michael explains that he can never lose his deep feelings for Sarah, even though they both hate each other.
Michael comes over to play with his pretty girls, but ends up sticking around after bedtime to try and impregnate Sarah, after she played him with alcohol. Maria is probably back at the Motel 6, watching reruns of the Bad Girls Club. She also has the word “Michael” tattooed on her ring finger, which the camera zoomed in on. The episode ends with Sarah proclaiming that Michael is still her man, and cackled in the moonlight.

Lacey/ Shane/ ShaJohn:
Lacy’s talking to her dad by the pier with her kids, telling him about her reunion with Sha-John. Her father is not a Sha-John fan, and tells Lacy she shouldn’t go down “heroine head road”. He tells her “Your head better get out of your ass and heart better take care of your kids”, and we’re all over here like “mmmmmhm”. Lacy also announced that she has a career.
Later, Lacy’s dad was questioning Shane and his intentions while they were putting together a trampoline for the kids (which will undoubtedly be featured soon in one of their videos…). Shane tells Lacy’s father that he wants to make it work with Lacy and he’s very sorry for his indiscretion (OK, he didn’t use that big word). Meanwhile, Lacy is sitting in her room video chatting with Sha-John, telling him to take his shirt off.
Get your head out of your shelf ass….

Lamar & Andrea:
Andrea goes full blown attack mode on Lamar after finding condoms in his jacket pocket. Lamar maintains that they belong to his brother, who has the same taste in fashion and borrows his jacket. Lamar’s brother’s name is “Squee Bastard”. That is all.
Andrea is not sure that she buys the story, but she simmers down. Andrea announces that she doesn’t want an STD (which, if he was cheating, at least he had condoms), and she doesn’t want a prostitute for a sister wife. Okay.
It’s hard for her to accept Lamar’s freedom and trust him. She tells Lamar to stay, and we can only sit wondering what a Squee Bastard is…

Tony & Angela:
Tony surprised Angela (while they were both holding lit cigarettes) with a romantic outdoor bbq dinner. It was a sweet move, and proves that his counseling must be working. (I’d still check that sim card, Ang). They discussed moving forward with their beach wedding, which should be an affair to remember.
Tony and Angela go into a floral shop and Tony is designing their whole wedding concept; accents of yellow to march their teeth. Can’t wait to see that one!

Tracie & Clint:
Clint is on the phone with his Goddess, and he looks like absolute garbage. Tracie wants Clint to give a friend of hers some drugs she hid in the house, and Clint acts shocked and appalled. He flushes the drugs, along with his hopes of Tracie being sober. He called his mother to fill her in, and she tries to talk sense into him, which we all know won’t work. He claims that Tracie made him happy at first….not AT FIRST meeting, when she stole his car and went on her crack bender, but before that…when she was in jail. These two are just such a sad mess.

Brittany & Marcelino:
We picked up after last week with the new puppy drama, and wondering where the hell Marcelino snuck off to. Brittany is starting to get suspicious when she can’t get a hold of him. Last week we saw him pull up to some woman’s house, but we could all put our worries to rest, she was just a poker coach. The busty poker Coach tries to toughen Marcelino up and get him off of his losing streak. Kind of a slow week for them.

Cheryl-less Josh & Josh-less Cheryl:
Cheryl seems to have moved to the woods with her backwoods family. She explains to her father that she feels like Josh is like a tick she flicked off of her, which really resonated with him. Back in Colorado, Josh has been working a lot and living with his mother after his break up with Cheryl. He admits he will miss Cheryl’s loyalty, but not her multiple personalities. Their segment closes with Cheryl and fam toasting marshmallows, and Cheryl ready to hit the inmate dating sites to search for love again.