Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Tell All Part 1 & 2
Caesar & Maria via Satellite: Caesar on the Tell All mostly just tried explaining himself to everyone and defending his decision to stay committed to his imaginary friend Maria. After each cast member had a chance to act like a therapist, trying to talk sense into him because they are all CLEARLY qualified, the host […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Finale
Rebecca & Zied: Well, it’s time for Rebecca to return her rental car. Zied is going to miss so so much. But he tells Rebecca it’s ok because she will see his face in her car, in her home, in her bed….and then she remembered her interior decorating theme for her house is “Zied-chic”. But […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 11
Rebecca & Zied: Well, Rebecca was wondering the desert looking for Zied. Helpful hint; follow the grease trail on the sand. The thought of losing Zied forever made Rebecca so much vomit, while I myself feel the opposite. Zied confirmed he was man Arabic. Nothing happened with them, except more Zied talk so much Geico […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 10
Rebecca &Zied: Rebecca finally looked deep into Zied’s big, deer-in-headlights eyes and told him her dreaded secret- shes still legally married to her last 90 day fiance. His response was “I’m so?” Followed by a blank stare. This so much no good. Rebecca feels as though she may never find someone like Zied, but I’m […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives; Episode 9
Rebecca & Zied: Zied whisked Rebecca away to a romantic tent in the dessert, which luckily had air conditioning, which Zied thought was “so much beautiful”. He got so much jealous when seeing a picture of Rebecca’s last Moroccan man-child, and acted so much scary. Nothing else happened at all, but in the previews for […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives; Episode 8
Rebecca & Zied: These 2 were pretty boring this episode. Zied likes to litter so much while riding in the car, then he scammed Rebecca for money so she could essentially buy herself her own engagement ring. Riveting. Next week looks more interesting though. So much. Avery & Omar: I hate when my headstrong teenager […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 7
Rebecca & Zied: The episode starts with a leisurely stroll through a Tunisian marketplace, where Zied can be heard saying his 2 phrases; “It is so much beautiful” and “I love so much”. Followed by a cat maybe or maybe not using a spice bin as his litter box. Note to self; Do not eat […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 6
Angela & Michael: Nigeria is a dangerous place……..but mostly just because Angela has landed!! Ignore the men with the guns and iron spikes, just steer clear of Angela and her man! The idea of Angela in a Nigerian prison sounds like the premise of a whole new reality show that I’d LOVE to watch. “Locked […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 5
Ben & Quinoa: Quinoa showed up wearing an outfit with very poorly placed buttons. I spent the first few minutes thinking her “headlights were on”. After discussing which of the 31 flavors the other probably tastes like and talking about Ben’s weird body hair, Quinoa announces he will be staying with her brother, Fidel. The […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 4
Rebecca & Zied: Rebecca wore a tank top and things got out of control. More importantly, I saw Zied blink like 3 times. All I can think about is the hygiene of smoking hookah. As Zied was gesturing with it wildly, I’m just wondering if the little mouthpiece gets washed? Disinfectant spray in between hookah-ing? […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 3
Rebecca & Zied: Zied’s hair is what actual nightmares are made of. When Rebecca was blow drying it, I dry heaved. I hope she rented the soccer mom van, seeing how she’s now the team mom. I cant believe she didn’t even bring them orange slices and Gatorade! It felt like Zied brought her to […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 2
Thank you 8lb 6oz golden baby Jesus- ANGELA is back!! She rolled back into our lives looking like an adorable angry pineapple with that extra straightened high ponytail. As someone who works in the wedding industry, I can only hope to one day get to be a preferred vendor for Doug, the wedding coordinator. His […]
Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 1
Let’s start with Caesar and a picture of some girl: Between his odd shaped head, the meditating and the bike helmet, Caesar seems like the total package. I mean it’s obvious to everyone but him that this is a scam. Even the producers tried pointing things out to him and he just stared blankly. Svet […]